I have a problem with depression.
What helps me going to therapy and getting medication.
I also do more purification rituals, like baths and focus on bringing the light in.
It also helps me to focus on a goal that doesn’t necessarily make me feel happy but more accomplished.
I would be careful with that, to be honest. A lot of people don’t know how to react when a friend confides into them that they are depressed and it can be a huge blow if the trusted person reacts in a way that could downplay or disregard these feelings (out of helplessness, not malice of course). I’ve experienced my fair share of “maybe you should drink more water”-reactions from people I would have called close and it can be devastating to deal with.
But of course, more often than not we might have people nearby who will listen and who are able to give some form of comfort and if thats the case they should be a source of trust when things are becoming too bleak to handle.
Cause … lifelong bullying and this soul stealing world.
Tips and tricks. Stand your ground and fight. Take meds. Talk to someone you love and know they love you.
Overcome it I have not.
You’re right, I agree with that.
@A_Pariah thanks for sharing. I can honestly relate to about 90% of what you posted. Helped me to realise a couple of things I hadn’t really noticed too.
Where i live this is a standard thing given to all young children. Ive only been working with shadows (i agree I don’t like it either) just recently to learn to love myself for who I am, its freeing.
When reading this I realised ive been sitting stagnant. For the last 4 years I havent had any life goals like this. Something to keep me moving forward. Its actually a difficult realization. Much to think about. Thanks again for posting.
You have definitly experienced depression. And you so clearly expressed the way it makes the world seem.
This is what im trying to figure out how to do here with everyone’s assistance. Im sure we will have plenty of other people come through with this same issue.
Im sorry for your loss. I am glad to hear you are feeling back to normal or better.
My va dr has been trying to get me to take medication for about 2 years for this. Im close to caving and doing it.
How does this work out for you? Is your depression more stress related than negative thoughts?
Do you feel the soothing bath rituals have a lasting effect or is it more of a quick pick me up?
Kendall said something that may help with depression , seems rly useful in another post
What helped me was to realize that depression is a price one have to pay to walk this path. There are NO human emotion that is “wrong”, as they all are “physical” manifestations of ur-cosmic forces. It’s not like death is invigorating anyway. This is the range of emotions that emanate from the dark tree. I’m actually amazed by all occult practitioners that want to deal with death, demons etc. and can’t bear the emotional burden of being a channel for the shadow of reality.
Alright, I thought I would share my side aswell.
I cannot remember when my depression started honestly, I think around my 13-14 years old was when it really started to be bad. I never felt good around other kids of my age, even my mom mentionned several times how I was way more mature, so there was a point I started questionning myself and wondering what was wrong with me, and why I couldn’t fit with others. Because I wasn’t like the other kids around me, I got bullied at school. It wasn’t physical, but it shattered the poor self estim I had, and confirmed the thoughts in my head that I was weird.
I started not going to school around my 14, and stopped fully when I was 17. So I pretty much stayed at home almost everyday until my 21, playing games to just forget and think about something else.
My problem was, like I mentionned, that I wasn’t able to fit with others. It wasn’t just about people of my age, but everyone. I did not understand society as a whole, nor did I understand why the world was like “this”. I wasn’t feeling good in my skin, so to say.
I wasn’t into spiritual stuff back then, but I wanted to believe in it. I remember calling my guides/guardian angel and asking them to show me that there was more to this life, and seeing that I was not getting any answers after years, my depression started getting worse. I did insult my guides a few times not gonna lie lmao, I was pretty upset.
But long story short, Belial contacted me pretty much out of the blue at my 21, when I wasn’t expecting anything anymore, and he is the one who got my sorry ass out of depression. Well not fully, because I still struggle sometimes, but it’s rare.
So what saved me was really spirituality as a whole, and knowing that I wasn’t alone.
So now, what is helping me when I get low, and start having bad thoughts. First of all I am going to say that meditations do not help me, in contrary. I always have a lot in my mind, always thinking about 3-4 things at the same time, so when I sit down to meditate and basically do nothing at all, this is when my bad thoughts are getting worse.
Music is the way for me, it keeps my mind busy, and having cheerful music in my ears really helps, and switch up my mood totally.
I never really had any medication, I tried but I didn’t like it, always felt like it was just something to “hide what was underneath”. But I know it helps a lot on some people, didn’t work on me though 
Seeing someone to who I could talk to was hard. Not only because I felt like no one could really understand me, but also because I think I didn’t meet the good psychiatrists. So for the people who read that, it’s okay to try different psychiatrist if one doesn’t meet your needs, or if you do not feel comfortable with them. But do not close yourself up because of it.
There is a lot of things I could say, but I’m running out of time here, have to go 
I tried to make it simple, and not make a long ass text, but still did lmao. I will try to explain a bit more later.
Nihilism a philosophy that nothing really exists, nothing matters, it says theres no meaning or purpose to life.
So for me my career and studies fell apart after that everything else. In the past I always thought career was what defined my purpose. It’s how I grew up. Then when it went to shit i had no purpose therefore suicidal thoughts.
So when I read about Nihilism, it made me realise nothing is really that important or that serious. It feels incredibly free. Nothing matters and everything is going to die, so I’m not concerned with nonsense like reproduction, moral values (you understand morals were created by what the majority of people agreed to), nationalism or any such issues. You worry a lot less than someone who believes in having meaning to life. You go with the idea that i have nothing to lose or gain.
Religious people say nihilism is a mental illness because you live so free. But honestly it’s what saved me from suicide.
I had it (depression before). So note counting if you’re under psychic or family attacks or bullying, in my experience it’s when too many stressors fall i you at the same time or in a very short period of time.
In my case dad died, lost a couple friends, I had creditors calling, was being threatened with loosing the roof over my head and the boss at the job I had then was threatening to fire me. It was too too too much. I just wanted out. Obviously I survived it in the end.
So from my point of view (not medical) depression most often hits when a truckload or trainload of bad shit starts falling on you and just doesn’t let up, meaning it’s stress related.
I don’t dispute that hormone imbalances can play a role or cause it for some people but for me it was stress. Though I’ve been a bit down since my knee got reinjured. Again mainly stress induced though this time physical stress and pain not emotional and social BUT I’m hanging in there. I been through worse so I can get through now. Just wish my knee would get better.
I tried that once and I thought it was making me feel free, too. But in the end it made everything worse, because I almost lost my last reason to fight: The fact that my actions do matter, and that life is worth living even though it’s hard sometimes.
Nihilism took away my pain for a while, but it took away the good side too for me.
Good if it works for you though.
In my own experience with these aspects of my self I’ve came to the conclusion that these shadows had a purpose in my life, once. They took over in a situation of crisis and kept me safe and relatively sane over a period of time. What is now for example an unhealthy coping mechanism has protected me at some point and when I had this realisation I could approach this aspect of myself without shame or anger.
Maybe you had to sit stagnant because you held your current situation (surroundings, family, job, etc) over the urge to “break out”. Stasis can serve a purpose as well, it often comes with the need for safety/stability. To realise that this stasis is now a burden could be your sign to try something else with your life. Who knows, not me.
A depressing life, honestly.
Professional help. It may not cure you but it can save you all the same.
In my own subjectivity I’ve learned that my most powerful coping mechanism was rage. Instead of sad, I would get mad. Problem is, rage can be quite difficult to control. Not impossible, mind you, but it takes a lot of energy to keep it in check. And at some point, very recently, it took almost all my energy.
All in all, there are quite clear problems that cause depression, problems IN life. So the best thing I can think of to solve it is to solve such problems first and build from there.
Now, my issues come from the lack of very basic things, specially when I was a kid, so it is not the same that class clown’s depression, who needs to put up a persona in order to protect himself. I don’t give a fuck if anyone likes me or not, so I don’t have a different persona, not even online.
While I do live with suicidal thoughts, that’s a whole different beast and I’ve managed to tame it. It is there, it has always been and I think it always be, so I have to deal with it the best way I can: ignoring it. Is just another source of noise. Sometimes is not as easy as I make it sound, sometimes it takes a lot of effort. And yes, sometimes I end up researching quick and effective suicide methods. But I’m very proud of myself for never, ever indulging in any form of self harm (other than tons of smokes, scotch and cocaine, that’s it)
I’m an absurdist. Following Camus, life has no meaning, but human actions construct meaning and give purpose. Yeah, I’m going to die. But I’m not dead yet.
I have been lurking in this thread and I thought I’d add some of the things I do that takes the edge off of my depression. Maybe someone might find something helpful in my post.
I am on Wellbutrin. I feel like this stuff is why I am able to get out of bed everyday.
I use a light box Sept through April. I get up before the sun rises to use it. I use it for 45 minutes. I have a cup of coffee and I catch up on what happened overnight. It’s supposed to trick your brain that there is still a lot of daylight.
I workout 5-6 days a week. I go through phases where I’m just doing yoga, then kettlebell, then strength training.
I stopped drinking unless it’s a holiday or something. Then I will have a single glass of wine.
I get out everyday for a walk, as long as the weather and my physical health permit.
I try to teach myself some small, but new skill. I have taught myself to decorate cakes, to make macarons, to make soap, make baguettes, etc.
I try to stay away from people who say unhelpful things like, “Snap out of it”, or “You’re lazy.” That’s not to say I avoid warranted criticism, but just people who are not understanding. I also avoid the “good vibes only” crowd.
I basically try to keep my brain busy so I don’t ruminate on the reasons I am depressed. I am pretty sure my depression comes from stuff that happened to me as a child. I know I need to see a therapist to untangle it all, but I also know it’s probably going to be painful. I am at a point where I can’t tamp this stuff down anymore.
I understand this. This is where I am. Anger is good for motivation, taking action, but when it’s your primary coping mechanism, it becomes hard to manage and takes on a life of its own. It is exhausting to keep a lid on it.
Recently I had success managing this. Due to an unrelated project, Hermes gave me a few hints (again, entirely unrelated). One of those was “prairie”. Well, “Obalye” actually, the only word in the Lakota language that I know. Which means prairie. I finally understood (with Artemis help) that he meant I should contact a pre-columbian spirit related to prairies.
I got in contact with the Yasi Yateré, a creature from the Guaraní mythology. And I tell you, he agreed to help with the overall goal of this project. Apparently, I needed to get my emotions in check and he has been helping with it. Now my rage is much smaller. Is a nice side effect. I was really worried about it, so I would suggest you to take a look to spirits that can help you with it, for whatever reason.
Id say a good therapist walks with you at your own pace.
I have to disagree. Atleast for now and here’s why. I would not consider my life to be a depressing one. I actually consider mine to be rather blessed from a material and love standpoint without going into detail. Do I have depressing things in my life? Fuck yeah, but the majority of those instances happend 10 years prior to the onset of my depression. Yet now that I stand in life where I have met 80% of my life’s goals. Thats one of my questions is why now. Why do I now have depression after finally feeling like a success. So maybe we have a difference in what we define as a depressive life.
Because you asked us for the origin of our depression
I was speaking for myself (and several others I’ve met during my life). I’m not implying there is a single source of depression for everyone.