There’s a Serviator i once created for myself,
for a similar problem.
i was Stuck in a mental State,
of complete Agony.
I simply couldn’t rap my head around certain things.
Nor was i able to meditate properly.
I was in a very bad stage there,
mainly composed of fear,
desperation,
madness.
The Serviators Name is:
Azathar.
And while it was originally created by another forum member,
i custom fit tailored it to my needs,
once i had integrated it.
It’s not a Demon tho.
It’s a Holy Guardian Angel.
It will structure your thinking,
your emotions,
and basically, give you the same effects,
as if you meditated for a few lifetimes.
However,
that still takes time,
to fully enroll into you.
So it’s not a quick-fix.
But in the long run,
it’ll help you tremendously.
It doesn’t have a Sigil,
since i never intended to give it forward to anyone else then myself.
However,
it can be accessed through the picture i posted there,
since i used that myself,
to integrate it into me.
Note again:
This IS NOT A DEMON.
It will not change your desires,
or increase them.
It will LOWER your desires,
it’s an Angel.
It will Structure your mind,
and clean it up.
So you have more focus,
are more in control of yourself,
and also less ceceptable to outside influences.
The capacity i took out of having it integrated into me,
and working with it,
for approximately 2-3 years,
was pretty much equal,
to 2-3 Lifetimes of constant meditation.
So it’s probably around 1 year of Use,
for 1 Human lifespan (around 80 years), of Meditation.
I disintegrated it,
due to it specifically asking me to be released.
It had done it’s job on me,
and wanted to return to it’s source.
(Re-integration into the original caster,
usually clean the experience and skills of the Servitor completely up.)
Similar to what happens to us,
between incarnations,
when we go back,
cleanse,
and come into a new life,
we normally get washed out the stuff we had experienced,
because it wouldn’t apply,
to the new State of the World,
we’re being born into.
More experienced approaches to Reincarnation,
allow you to bypass that,
at will.
But that’s a different Topic.
Azathar will definitely be able to help you.
However,
Azathar is currently in a decomposed state,
as far as i know.
So you can only access its shadow,
it imprints it had left on the Astral Plane,
which is going to be a Tulpa.
(the next weaker Thoughtform. - a shell, still containing those memories it had stripped off,
when integrating back into it’s original creator.)
To re-vitalize,
you’ll have to re-create it.
Call it forth,
utilizing the Picture i gave you.
When you feel nothing happening:
Fuel more Energy - especially life energy from yourself,
and Divine energy from above,
into it.
Once it awakens,
and becomes alive again,
it might be a little confused,
so don’t integrate it right away.
Keep it as a familiar,
for at least 3 Days,
so it can become comfortable,
with being needed again,
and with living again.
Take that time,
it’ll only hurt yourself if you skip that.
Since it’s like sitting a newborn child,
behind a supertruck,
asking it to drive that thing.
Once it’s grown strong enough,
integrate it.
Keep it in the back of your skull,
for the beginning,
where you feel it the most.
But let it comfortably do it’s thing.
It’ll blend into you,
and become completely unnoticable to you.
It’s very calm,
and doesn’t care for the Trouble you’re facing out there in the World.
It only cares,
how it can structure you,
and get you through that struggle,
better.
And since it’s single minded,
completely focused on that,
it’ll be very good at that.
Azathar,
should be thanked for it’s work,
a couple of times,
every few month.
Simply tell it,
to remind you of that,
and you’ll have a “knowing” inside of you,
when it’s time,
to feed the Serviator again,
so it keeps alive.
If you don’t feed it with Gratitude,
it’ll wither away and die.
It doesn’t need much Apriciation,
but it needs a little bit,
to keep healthy and going.
Yeah,
that should pretty much sum it up.
Oh,
and you should combine it with meditating,
every now and then,
when you have time,
and it feels right.
Those are usually breaks,
Azathar gives you intentionally,
to adjust to changes,
and to complete work it’s been doing up until that point.
Normally you don’t notice much,
because Azathar kind of likes doing that in your downtime,
when you’re sleeping,
anyways.
But,
it’s more effective,
to give it some spare time,
for doing it’s job,
during conscious awareness aswell.
OH,
and BIG Disclaimer:
This will make you smarter.
You’ll become more intelligent.
by a few notches.
If you don’t care for that,
and don’t want to become more intelligent,
you REALLY shouldn’t use Azathar.
Because that effect,
can’t be avoided.
It will make you smarter.
There’s these Virus like little creatures in your brain,
i think they’re called Mithochondria.
You’ll find out what they are specifically when Azathar works with you.
Well,
those have to do A LOT with how you think,
and how intelligent you are.
And Azathar basically re-programs them,
to work more in alliance with your true will,
your Sat Nam.
That’s all you need to know about it for now.
So if you don’t want the smarts,
don’t use it.
Apart from that,
i wish you great success!!
Sincerely,
¥’Berioth