Knowing WHY you want it would help, also knowing approximately what it is, and what it means to you, who you’d be with it, who you’d be without it, and so on.
Have a kind of rough mental image, doesn’t need to be honed down to exact details but just the basics, and also, know your WHY - don’t judge yourself on it, if it’s something like “to make other people envious” (which a lot of people might judge, and try to lecture you about) it’s still more important to be honest to yourself, than try to base things on a self-deceptive lie, and then you are able to proceed with things as they are rather than fall into self-judgement and self-doubt, and trying to cover things up from yourself.
Turning drives like that into accomplishment is actually a form of alchemy.
(I have to go finish some work now and will be back on later, not ghosting on replies. )
Is this because you feel daunted at the idea of changing things in your life?
If you woke up tomorrow with a movie-style genie lamp that granted you wishes, would you still feel the same way?
Or simply with, say, 20 million dollars securely invested and paying big dividends, and any physical flaws fixed, would you still feel like it’s all too much?
These are genuine questions and not being snarky. I approach problems as being things which can be fixed with the right analytical approach. That doesn’t mean my own life is perfect, but it has worked for me - a LOT.
I repeat that all things are the effect of some cause, so if you feel that way, it’s not the default for the human mind and body, it’s a dysfunction of some kind, and can therefore be fixed, or lessened.
I would probably just sit on the wishes. Wishes are monkey’s paws. They seem too risky without a lawyer or something to aid you, but then I would have to be very careful in vetting the lawyer, if something goes wrong I would have no retribution.
I would just pay off my college debt. I don’t know how to be use that much money responsibly. I would just have to give myself a tight allowance until I can prove to myself that I am good with that amount by earning around the same amount. I would keep working so I can cloak the fact that I have the money.
That sounds stupid. I would fix the English voice acting of uncensored 2000s Japanese Erotica.
Okay so in a theoretical situation where you have a lamp that grants anything, you injected a focus of worry and then came up with why that’s insurmountable - even though you have the lamp.
I’m not judging that, just asking you to pay attention to it.
If you foresee difficulties even where the rules of that situation don’t call for them, then this indicates that a lot of your blockages are self created.
This is good news in that you can fix them.
But you need to make the decision to take a small, time-restricted, leap of faith, to do this.
That sounds very sensible. So you’ve got a concept that priorities exist and know that you need to give yourself guidelines and restrictions, rather than playing it by ear.
What I’m getting at there is that the first answer made no sense but the second was a quantum leap above most people’s, in terms of self-awareness and not going crazy.
I think you have a programming problem, some junk malware got into your belief system and dealing with that, because you can’t SEE it exists, only its effects, which you then downgrade yourself for, is causing you all the problems.
Like trying to drive a high-performing SUV only one of the tyres blew, and you’re driving on the rim on that wheel, everything else you do is going to be so much harder and performace & responsiveness is shot as well.
If you were in that situation but sonehow had no idea it had happened, you’d think the entire vehicle was a piece of shit.
It can be easier to change small internal things compared to changing a wheel!
Something which caused me a LOT of misery, for years, was resolved (after a lot of attempts) with one simple insight I had, now whenever that old train of thought occurs I just go to the insight, and it can’t nag me or make me carry low-level constant bad feelings any more. I only got the insight because I treated it as a problem to be solved, and not just “the way things are.”
I wish I had known about this kind of thing sooner in life.
I acknowledge that there is a problem, and I am willing to pay the price of embarrassment and mortification on the Internet to make progress. Yeah, there are people with bad takes that say I’m never going to change, but they were probably just going to take me for a ride so I don’t care what they have to say.
If you could identify what caused the difference between the 2 answers above, one set you up for defeat and changed the actual “rules” of the hypothetical scenario so it would fuck you up, that would help.
By this I don’t mean hours of anguish on some therapists couch, or anything so obscure, just finding what belief system kicks in then and learning to recognise it when it crops up.
Genies don’t work for charity, work for affirmations and entertainment. In fact, a lawyer probably wouldn’t help because either the lawyer or the genie would misunderstand.
Money probably isn’t sentient so controlling it good enough is possible, even if I can’t do it yet.
)
What I’m getting at there is that the first answer made no sense but the second was a quantum leap above most people’s, in terms of self-awareness and not going crazy.