Coping with Negative Mindsets, Intrusive thoughts and Obsessive Desires (An offshoot conversation)

General Discussion
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Honestly I think this is because even though we are calling them angels, they are not necessarily of the same class and hierarchy of the angels we typical call.

I would personally describe the angels of omnipotence as more cosmic feeling in comparison the others.

Basically I think they are technically a different class of spirit, but because there are similarities between the two groups and their might even be common history and the things I am not recalling or not informed amongst the them as well.

For the longest time I couldn’t sense regular angels at all. I was able to receive results and determine that a one way call was still valid, but I couldn’t sense anything at all from them to indicate they heard me.

I found it frustrating at least at one point because some types of spirits I could see and hear easily.

Oh see this is kinda the same things. Just because they come doesn’t mean they agree, so if even if we do notice those subtle indications they showed up we often miss the response.

Well. If you’re getting a bunch of responses that don’t seem to fit the preset mold it doesn’t necessarily mean you got the wrong entity or didn’t have an experience.

It means your path is different and I suppose we only speculate but honestly the thing that comes to mind is that perhaps what you were asking didn’t ultimately align with who you are in some in way.

I’ve been known as a friend, as a wife and a as mom to give stipulations on things that were intentionally hard to meet in order to detract someone from a path I was certain was going to lead them through pain.

I’ve even done things to mess up situations I thought would lead to similar and let the person be mad at me for… because if they are busy being mad at how blunt I was and how bad I hurt their feelings, chances are they are going to get over what it is a lot faster than if it’s their fault.

I mean, idk I don’t think I should do this, I’m saying I have done this. I have done this because man, sometimes you can tell people really just…don’ have good odds and I thought lessening the blow or eliminating it and taking the burden so that they didn’t have do it one more time when they were already burnt out…

So idk. I think an entities agenda can be had with actual best intentions and wishes for the human in mind. I’m not saying this is always the case, but in my experience it’s a possibility to at least consider.

I’ve had times where I go wow. I’m so glad that one thing I obsessed over didn’t work out…thank god I didn’t get it despite how much I wanted it.

So I don’t think you are failing to connect all together, I think there’s an agenda difference and that only one size had full perception of the situation.

Divination could actually probably help with this.

I’d ask something along the lines of *Where am I going wrong in my Aoo project?

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This makes a lot of sense. I regret being so stubborn… I just wish I didn’t want the things I want, if none of them are good or meant for me anyway =/ I wish I could let everything go.

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It’s really really hard when you think you want it, you see it’s difficult, you are willing to go the extra mile and no matter what life stands there going…

nuh uh uh.

I’ve been really really bad at this obsessing thing at times. It took my a long time to realize some of my obsessions didn’t in anyway fit with me and an entire personality overhaul of someone was needed to get the result.

I was willing. I would work and compromise and man I’ll be the best ever so they know…

Oft. Let me just tell you that from where I sit now, these situations in my life where I just couldn’t let go of something (usually boys.) always turned out in away that next time it was so much better I couldn’t even imagine a reality that could surpass it.

I would obsess over keep me here, right in this perfect moment.

But you know what? All my replacements, people and situations that assumed roles others didn’t want, they all treat me better and are so much more rewarding than last time…

I’ve had this happen three times with men I was certain I’d never find anyone who could love me like I loved them, I’d never be accepted, I’d always have to pretend…

Anytime I found a man that ticked off any of the hard check marks in my list, I tried to assume I could settle, make do and manipulate my way to the rest.

Life isn’t perfect. I didn’t want perfect, I wanted real. I wanted to receive the same quality of love I give, with someone I I felt it for too.

The times I could have had what I wanted I didn’t feel it… :rofl::woman_facepalming:

My husband and I argue over the stupidest shit, get passionately offended at things that are impossible to get offended at its normal life but still such a better relationship and connection that it’s difficult to relate to people who haven’t made a friendship of this kind.

Which is the one thing that’s different this time. We were real friends before the relationship. Like to the point that even though I was dating someone, I knew that I would be a down right rotten jealous bitch if he started dating someone.

I also knew if he started dating someone he’d put me above her. It would be one of those real friends before fake bitches scenarios and wouldn’t be able to stop myself from pointing out every flaw…

It only took six weeks from time we bumped into each till I had that realization. I had known him as a customer at my job 16 years ago but I only knew him from work back then.

So don’t be discouraged. I don’t know what it is that won’t manifest but I do know if it’s some sort situation where you swear the universe just won’t let you have what you deserve…

It’s actually could be the opposite. What you picked probably isn’t close to what you deserve or would actually make you happy.

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:people_hugging: Thank you, you’re so comprehensive, understanding, and kind, I feel like you know exactly how I’ve been feeling and where I’m coming from.

I wonder if geographical distance to my target might have played a role in the effects of my magick as well, since I had to relocate and will continue to stay away for a bit longer. What if everything kicks in when I go back? Guess I’ll find out…

It’s true that it also happens to me to look back and realize what I thought I wanted in the past wasn’t actually what was best of me, and I get this sudden feeling of relief, knowing in the end things turned out in my favor and worked out just fine.

Which spirits would you suggest for me to improve myself in this area? I don’t like having these obsessive thoughts and feelings, it’s been a year and it isn’t healthy for me to feel so stuck and being unable to let go. I’m embarrassed that it’s been so long and I’m not letting it go.

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I really like the Genius/84 Genies and the Hindu deities for inner work and emotionally healing/traumas personally.

In my experience there are both spirits in planes that exist inside of us and spirits that exist in planes outside of us. As such imop the Genius/84 Genies are very spirits that we can find on the inside almost like a team of spirits designed to have your back all the time, always close at hand once you find them.

This obviously is personal gnosis and you may come to different conclusions all together or some mix of this and something else.

I’ve worked with both Whitespires 84 Genies of Power and Genie Magick Unleashed. I like the second better despite the fact that yes the ritual format and sigil are possibly from a GOM book.

The dude doesn’t claim an association as far as I know, but that doesn’t mean anything just because he isn’t endorsed ya know?

Like I don’t know anyone except for the pen names of authors in this group so I can’t validate or easily discern if someone using a similar format with completely different and more comprehensive material made 7 rituals from Brands one ritual, stole them all and Brand only released one, was the one whose work was taken to begin with or anything like that.

So I choose to think the author should disclose this for clarification of the rumors and his integrity but nether the less Genie Magick Unleashed has been the most empowering work that I’ve done to date.

I’ve completed three rounds so far of each rituals required length due to the fact the genies told me that it was like leveling up the energies raised or reaching siddhi in those energies.

I like it so much that I wish all the genies not used in these rituals would be used in similar rituals for their purposes so I could then do the same thing with them…

So I am ridiculous, but it’s been rewarding for me.

Alternatively did you see this thread?

I actually created 12 servitors designed to help people with these exact types of things and put them together into a proposed format that is easy to adapt to whatever stage you are in life and what your real desires and wants and needs are taken into account for.

But that doesn’t turn your world upside down.

I’m still learning and growing myself all day everyday and I’m using these servitors myself as I still have many things to work on and to learn where I am and they are able to help me also.

I’m not real good at changing though, even little things. I have to remind myself and make myself and I have tendency to get downright emotional over nothing so I’ve found the best way for me is to take a deep but not overwhelming approach.

Basically rather than focus on the one worst thing, I’ll work on many things of vary degrees of importance. It makes it easier for me to not obsess or become stagnant because my mind has several projects to focus on properly direct the energy for. so I soon forget all about whatever the most difficult thing to let go of was.

I can do a lot of things while operating at a very analytical level in my mind, so the negative thought process is occasionally still very hard for me to break away from even when consciously trying distracting myself.

Like mundane things won’t distract my mind from the obsession at all unless it’s like an adrenaline rush accident or some crazy shit. I can tune out just about everything out while I do whatever I have my mind on… except for these obsessions. (don’t do this, :rofl: try to do the opposite and notice everything, all of it.)

So for me what works is expending the energy that would have generated the thoughts/fed the obsession.

This is mental and emotional energy imop not physical and if I don’t interrupt it I will go until I force myself to stop, days, weeks, months. No one would seem to notice but I would feel half dead inside like part of me was missing because it was all going to the obsession with mental and emotional exertion.

So when distraction doesn’t work for me I start thinking about all the things I should do magic for, all the smaller needs and wants- then go and begin finding books and materials to target the individual problems I came up with.

So I will sometimes work through two or three books at the same time not necessarily all in one sitting. one of my favorite things to do is a grimoire ritual like the above- every time I go to the back porch to smoke.

I’m usually alone when I smoke and it’s an activity where the physical fades away and the mental and emotional become very clear for me. I’ve always used smoke time as me time, when my kids were toddlers and I couldn’t get any adult time, when I just needed a minute because I couldn’t hear my damned self think…

So it’s an activity where I have to be aware that I am high risk for relapse into behaviors I’ve been working on changing.

If you start taking note of the triggers, activities persons, situations and likewise where you are most likely to fall off the trolly- you can figure out some of what you can do to help yourself.

It might take some trial and error to figure out what works best for you but I’ve found it’s gotten a whole lot easier since I started actually caring about what was right for me and my path and taking an active roll in at least trying to choose not to continue the behaviors that harmful to me.

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I got that book, but I admit I haven’t tried any yet (aside from Nitika in the Magickal Cashbook).

I also have to admit the sigil method that’s so popular in books by GoM and others (meditating on a sigil, doing the emotional transmutation, saying some divine words, and letting go), while quick and easy, just doesn’t seem to work for me. It feels empty, incomplete. I used to get results 50% of the time, and even then, they were too subtle… too small, like the rituals themselves.

This is exactly what happens to me as well. It’s awful, it’s like I’m doing something totally unrelated and engaging, but I keep getting these intrusive thoughts. It’s not normal for me to be stuck thinking of a specific person every day at random times for a while year, it’s not right.

This started to happen to me after calling upon Haniel/Jazar/Sisera on a ritual from the Magickal Seduction book. It would seem like it only affected me, and the effects are ongoing (it’s been a year!). I want it to stop, and I don’t know how. I feel bound.

I will check out your thread about servitors. I got Damon Brand’s book on the subject, but I never tried making any.

There’s so much doubt in magick in my mind right now… so I took a step back from practice because I know I’m not in the right mindset to attempt to do any magick, so I haven’t been practicing for a few months now. It’s also always advised to take a break to “let the magick breathe” and stop doing workings to let it work itself out but… it doesn’t.

Would it bother you if I send you a DM? Perhaps other users are not interested in reading all this in a thread about the AoO.

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That is fine and I can pull this into a different thread if I can figure out where we got off and what to call it and conjure up the steps to do it. :rofl:

I’ll be a bit more sporadic most of tonight and this weekend (husbands on his way home from work) but I don’t mind these discussions anymore.

It’s been really hard for me to go through a lot of this feeling like I’ve been alone and that no one understands or there isn’t anyone who gets it or help for my kind if problems, so I’m damned dedicated to figuring out how what I’ve learned can make someone else’s journey a little easier.

Even if it’s only to say hey, I get it! I’ve not worked it all out yet, but you’re not alone and I think I understand some of how to get to a better place from there, so maybe some of my notions can help you too or inspire you to something that will.

Idk I could be being too optimistic, but I can’t keep myself from thinking with all the people in this world I’m not the only one who’s been stuck in a trap that they didn’t have to be in.

I understand exactly what you mean about intrusive thoughts. I don’t want to feel those things or think those thoughts, but it’s like I would get so caught up in the desire and emotions of not having what I wanted that- I would loose my grasp on my ability to do anything about it. :rofl::disappointed::rofl:

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