Confused: Not Sure If I've Seen Results From Love Workings

Love, Sex Magick & Relationships
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Hi all (warning, long post, I’m really sorry),

I’ve been casting love spells/curses (however you prefer to call them) with the goal of getting my love to return to me. As the title of this topic says, I’m confused. I’m not sure if I have seen results from my love workings. As far as I can tell, in the physical world, I do not seem to be successful in my efforts.

Quick backstory: A year ago we met, were together for a wonderful two months before he ended things. He wasn’t ready for something serious (I was) because he wasn’t over his ex. The next several months we were friends (at least I tried to be) before I ended that because I realized I wasn’t over him, in fact was still in love with him. That’s around the same time I tried to apply the law of attraction to try and get him back. Then slowly I learned about other types of stuff. Over the past five months I’ve done the following:

  • Law of Attraction
  • Honey Jar
  • Obsession Jar
  • Domination Jar (with my urine and his photo taped to the bottom of the jar)
  • Simple Candle Spells multiple times, I’ve done the visualization taught by E.A. Koetting, I’ve also carved his full name on the candles and dressed the candles in my menstrual blood
  • Petition spells
  • Various Communication spells, one was basically a petition spell where I kept it by my phone for a few days (did this multiple times) and then burned it, another was a ritual calling upon the element of air to encourage him to contact him
  • Voodoo doll made of red fabric, filled with ripped cotton balls, lavender and roses (for love), cinnamon (for lust), a photo of him with full name and DOB written in the back and petition (for him to be in love with me and give us another chance)
  • Petition deities (Freyja, Aphrodite, Lucifer, Amon, Sallos, Santa Muerte)
  • Petition his higher self

Since beginning these love workings this is what I have experienced:
My love is friendly like always to me, asks me how I am and is generally nice, however, has entered a committed relationship with another woman. Currently, they are still together (been together for three months now). I’ve so far interpreted this as a sign that my love workings are not working as I hoped. Also, none of my communication spells have resulted in him contacting me.
So far, my love workings do not seem to have affected anything (at least not in the physical world) that I can see. As for the deities, I evoked them according to advice given here in the form, gave an offering, kindly told them my situation and humbly asked for their help. Then I invited the deities to come to me in my dreams and give me a sign/tell me whether they agree to help or not. I have been having vivid dreams ever since I began doing love workings, however, I have only seen either my love (sometimes he and I are together, other times he is with other women or just far away) or my family, friends and acquaintances. Only once, after praying to Santa Muerte (two days after asking for her help, two weeks after asking Amon and Sallos and a week after I re-followed him on Instagram) on the morning of New Years Eve, did my love send me a message. He wished me a happy new year and hoped I had had a great Christmas. I tried my best to utilize the opportunity and initiate a conversation without seeming overeager, however, he wasn’t interested in conversing. The next several weeks after that nothing happens between us. I try to run into him, have a friendly chat without being ‘weird’ or whatever, yet he remains just friendly in a friend way.

So, therefore, I’ve created this topic on here to ask for some help. Have I seen results from my love workings? At least from what I describe, or are they just mundane reactions to me mundane efforts? I thought it was normal to see some signs in the ‘physical world’ of the workings to be working within 30-60 days. I’ve done my best to be nice and friendly towards him (while respecting his relationship with his girlfriend) in the mundane without being fake (refuse to try to be his friend knowing how I feel and also because he has a girlfriend, it wouldn’t be nice). I’ve done meditations in order to keep my lusting for results in check, so I don’t think that is blocking anything.

I’ve done my best to read through the forum, and I think I’ve done everything right. At least, I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong in my workings. I’ve followed them to the letter, keeping in mind my intuition and personalizing it a bit where applicable (like with the doll, jars and candles).

Any and all advice, perspectives and/or takes would be appreciated. I’ve done readings for myself, and recently had a reading done by someone else. It was positive, telling my that the person I think of the most will return, they will come to me. So, I’m just so confused.

Again, I apologize for the very, very long post.

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maybe you should ask them what is the right method to drawing him back or whether you shouldn’t at all? Also while you haven’t listed for results, you still seem real heavy into him. To some extend I think you have to let him out of your mind, as hard as that it is and I’m going through it myself even now. Atleast I think you should ask them what are the right methods to go about getting him back or if that’s not in your future. When you get the right method, don’t go about the business of trying to run into him.

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It sounds like you’ve been applying the same kind effort towards this situation for quite a while now. When a situation becomes “stuck” like this, I find the best thing to do is to take a step back and evaluate the entire situation. Often, if you try something repeatedly and it does not work, a modified approach to the problem can work wonders.

For one, straight-up love spells don’t seem to be what you need right now. Let’s consider that your love rituals have indeed worked, and, deep down, he feels a strong love for you. But, despite this, he is with another woman, whom he may also feel a strong love for. This does not strike me as an unlikely scenario, and is what I suspect is happening here.

This leaves us with the question of what to do. First, before anything else, I would perform some pretty heavy divination. You want to gain a comprehensive understanding of the situation as it stands, what influences are at play that may bring changes to the situation, and what future outcome may occur as a result of these factors. I personally favor the Tarot for divination, and the classic Celtic Cross spread would help here.

I know that this sounds complicated already, but this is a rather complicated situation (because people are rather complicated), and if you want to change things and have them unfold well for you, then some nuance and precision is required. Focussing somewhat heavily on the information and wisdom gathering stage of a magickal operation can save you far more time and effort down the line.

Once you have gathered some information and considered things some more, you should have a much better idea as to how to proceed. Perhaps the most obvious factor that needs to change here is his present relationship. You may want to seed some curses into the relationship, to cause its end (something that is easier than you may expect, though patience is still required).

How you go about doing this, however, should be based off the information you gathered earlier. Find the weak points in their relationship, and then use these weaknesses against them. Once they break-up, you will want to be in a position that attracts him back to you. What that position is I cannot tell you without knowing more about him and about you and your previous relationship together.

Something important to consider is that even if he loves you, he may have moved on from you with his logical thinking mind. Emotions are incredibly powerful, but when it is determined the mind is even more so. If you can bring alignment to his emotions of love and affection, and to his rational thoughts, his resistance to being with you will be hugely lowered.

It is difficult, but you may also, in the course of your divinations, be guided to “lay off the gas,” as it were. Sometimes, doing nothing, both in a magickal and a mundane sense, and letting reality move and develop is what you need. You also probably want him to feel that he has decided to return to you of his own volition, unless he is the type to be swayed by grand gestures or persistent affection, which does not really seem to be the case. But, again, I could be wrong, which, again, brings us to the importance of divination and information gathering.

Perhaps this was of some help to you. I can tell just from reading your post that you are in a state of mind where you can actually get this done. Most people in this situation are so overcome with lust for result that I see little point in suggesting to them anything other than that they calm the hell down and concern themselves with something else. Apply some wisdom to your admirable persistence, and you will work wonders.

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I have used two spells for sex and attraction and they both worked. The thing I found was you can’t just sit around waiting for things to happen, with these types of workings you have to be proactive. I would recommened a system where the spirits are constrained to give an answer and respond. The reason I say this is because maybe the spirits see this guy is not for you and decide not to do it? These spirits are really intelligent and think/see things different to how we do. You could do a tarot reading and see what the results would be if this spell was to work…

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Hi EmptyVessel, thank you for giving your insight to this matter. I really appreciate it. May I ask what exactly do you mean by ‘a system where the spirits are constrained to give an answer and respond’? I would really appreciate it if you could elaborate further on that <3

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Hi shinri, thank you very much for your insight into this matter. It was very, very helpful. I very much appreciate it :heart:. I’ve been taking some time to do some heavy tarot divination, both for myself and having someone else help me. I’ve been told that he is confused, I will get what I what but I need to start working on myself. So it’s kind of like you said, I’m being encouraged to “lay off the gas” and actually start working on myself and focus on other things. Only then can my desires manifest. One thing I am wondering, are there any divination methods (other than tarot) that you recommend? So far, I’m only versed in tarot and recently pendulums.

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Hi Thatguy21, thank you for your insight into this matter. I really appreciate it. I think your right, I’ve done some heavy tarot divination and they are actually encouraging me to take a step back and focus on something else for a while (preferably myself haha). So thank you.

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Lol I had several tarot readings that were positive. It’s really hard to step back. A lot of us come out of these relationships feeling empty so just “letting it go” feels impossible, but it is possible, and the spirits definitely hear you. Never think that they don’t. You see some progress if he’s confused so what you are doing isn’t going in vain. I still didn’t get a text from my ex or some form of communication down the line. one day, but untill then…

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Very true, it definitely very difficult to take a step back and I feel you regarding not receiving any text from your love. That’s tough. I’ve found meditating daily has helped quite a bit and also reading this topic a few times over: Biggest EX LOVE RETURN rules thread with rules you need to keep!
I’ve found it so helpful every time I feel my patience running out haha :joy:
Also, I don’t know about you but as comforting as it is to receive a positive tarot, i.e. being told that I will get what I what and that he will return, I’ve also found it to be quite frustrating lol Because like yay (does a little happy dance) he’ll return to me and we’ll finally be together again but at the time my brain can’t help but go: “Awesome, when though? Cuz we barely even talkin’ now man?!” :joy::joy::joy:

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I agree. Doing spells and waiting it’s almost like “well when” And creates anxiety. I’m already a anxious person who has a fallen out with my job around the time of my breakup so I was stuck with a wandering mind and nothing to do. Just have to focus on other things and let your spells run it’s course.

In the meantime, bond more with the spirits. I’m going to create a relationship with Amon and beleth too, along with Sallos. I think then you will have more peace when you connect with the higher ups. They will guide you

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First I’d like to say I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I have been in similar situations myself. I found myself stepping toward such circumstances not too long ago. It’s as if he has put the love spell on you!

Something that was a hard for me to accept was how some men view women as a conquest, rather than an actual people. This is coming from someone that doesnt know much about this man, so please keep that in mind. Does he have a history of these two month long relationships?

Who are his friends? Are they what you would consider bad influences for him? People tend to take on behaviors of those they keep company the most. Perhaps something you could consider is separating him from those you feel are holding him back not just his current partner.

That said I would be inclined to agree you focus on something else for awhile. Perhaps you can make it a rule not to perform any further spellwork on him until “X” Something like, until you’ve read a book Until your home is cleaned, thats one for me. If I have random stuff everywhere, it translates the same to my thoughts and behaviors. Same for everybody.

Also, you could consider getting another perspective with psychedelics. However, there must be one condition if thats the next course of action you decide to take. You are not allowed near your phone or computer the entire time. Dont do it, you may feel like its a good idea but it isnt. Psychedelics aren’t something you take in order for you to reach out to anybody, they’re for you to reach in to yourself. “Go spelunk yourself.” Hahaha

Best wishes regardless.
My heart goes out to you.
Thank you.

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From what I’m reading, I’d say most of that is friendly and mundane. I honestly don’t think it’s worked. Did you gather any kind of personal links to the target… Nail clippings, hair, semen etc? About 80% of my most effective spells used personal concerns of the target. I just think it’s a bit harder to do if you don’t have these things

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Hi Kentree21, thank you for your insight. I appreciate it. I’m not capable of obtaining any nail clippings, hair, semen or anything of the kind. I’ve just used photographs of him, full name and DOB. I’ve read those were supposed work as links. You think personal dna stuff is essential?

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I was referring to the classic love 'em and leave 'em archtype, @anon5276174. I will say once more, I dont know this man at all but he’s likely placing his happiness in other people. Just as you are going to focus on your needs for awhile, maybe he should be too. Introspection & self accountibility is a form of self care.

Dissociation is a way to avoid the responsibilty of our own feelings. It’s a hard pill to swallow but ultimately we are responsible for our own emotions. Binge watching Netflix, (or in my case YouTube) is a way of curtailing our emotional state. It’s not fair to others to treat them the same way. It’s like saying “I can’t stand to be alone with myself! …but I think you should. Here’s all my emotional baggage. Also, I love you!” There’s a lot to be said about digital detoxing & unrifined isolation.

Okay, we clearly have differing perspecives on what a bad influence consists of. What I’m reffering to- Emerson put it best “Thought is the seed of action.” I’ve added to that, where do seeds grow? Soil. What is the soil where thoughts grow? Beliefs. I don’t care about drugs or alcohol so long as your beliefs are morally benefical to oneself & in turn, those around them. Get to the root of the issue, where are roots of thoughts? The soil of beliefs.

Also sepration is not negative, it’s a gift. Without isolation there is no metric of the self. How could you possibly hope to know anything about yourself if you’re constantly surrounded by others? Speak to a devout Christian for ten minutes if you can stomach them that long. They will offer you no original content, just what they’ve been told to think. Their brains were built before they were born. In that sense they are already dead.

Lemme take a second to say I do care about you & your situation a great deal. I am not intending to hurt you in any manner. If what I’ve said so far has struck a chord with you, before you get upset I invite you to ask what the under lying emotion is. Under anger there is fear. What are you so afraid of?

Seeing that you’re not much into weed already and see drugs as a bad influence, you’re likely to reject this but I was reffering to psilocybin, a type of psychodelic mushroom that raises you up emotionally. Your thoughts are limited to your emotional state. If you’re sad, you wont be able to experience joyous thoughts. It’s hard to pull yourself out of an emotional rut sometimes. Drinking psilocybin tea is a good friend in that it lifts you up, and in turn your thoughts follow. This isnt just a feeling of joy I’m speaking of, but elation & beyond.

Cannibis isn’t psychodelic, but it does have it’s benefits as well. Calming the body, a relaxed body is a relaxed mind. When relaxed, you can address pressing issues effectively. When experiencing stress, it’s fight or flight, your lens of perception is severely augmented by fear based emotions.

I’ll leave it at that for now, actually I wont haha. Heres a little bonus for you. A perfectly legal recipe to help you obtain a different perspective on your situation.

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IMG_20200213_152500715×280 58.3 KB

Thank you.

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I think it’s of importance but not absolutely necessary. It just makes the work a lot easier :blush:

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Hey there friend, no need to apologize. You’re allowed your comfort zone. I mean even mugwort, peppermint, ginger have effects on the body. Just because an authoritarian society hasnt labeled them as drugs specifially, they are no different. Not trying to peer pressure you into eating ginger or anything, just making a point.

This seems to be a common trend on this forum. I’ve helped another member earlier with the same issue earlier today. Please look this over.

It has everything youre looking for, and if not dont hesitate to reach out again. Thank you.

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Glad that I could be of service :slight_smile:

I agree that internal work is never really a bad move. It can make manifestation so much easier. A big part of magick for me is changing myself into a being that attracts the things that I want to manifest in my life. That way, results just happen on their own without much action on my part, magickal or mundane. And not only do I get what I want, I am strong enough to give to those around me, so that they get what they want too.

Something that may be helpful to you as well is the idea of always having a backup plan or “hedging your bets.” I find it very useful to cultivate a mindset where I am not overly concerned about whether my magick works or not. If it does, then fantastic, I get what I want. If not, then it’s not a big deal because I have an alternative path (which I have carefully chosen) to follow.

There are several merits to this practice. For one, even when you “lose,” you still win. Sometimes you don’t win as hard as you could have, but at the end of the day you still came out ahead. Perhaps the best thing about it, though, is that it almost completely removes any potential Lust for Result. Individual results stop mattering as much because you have wisely planned out your journey. The beautiful thing about this is that when you let go of all desperation in this way, and become pretty cool with uncertainty, all of your magick becomes much more likely to manifest.

As for divination systems, I’ve tried the I Ching a few times, and while it doesn’t resonate with me quite as much as Tarot, it is an excellent practice (I quite like this book). I do also work with demons for divination, and I can talk more about this if you’re curious, but I think it’s a bit more difficult to get working for newbies (which does not mean that you can’t jump in and start practicing), and I find having a physical tool like cards or coins (like the I Ching) to be very helpful. The results are often easier to read when you can trust that the cards/coins/whatever will fall as they need to.

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