First, excuse my bad english I usually speak french so be ready for the eventual mistakes.
Second, sorry for the long text I tried to be short.
A long time ago, one of my disurbings evenements made me want to seek for more informations about the occult, still I was in a fear state as I was young so I had to live with all my questions never answered, although I tried to find people to answer them.
One day, when I was 14 I went with my boyfriend and his best friend who was really into magic and spiritism outside, they wanted to take me to a place “that I would like a lot”. We went deep into a forest, in front of a precipice and I founded the view so beautiful that I just sat there, watching everything. Already, it was a little bit special because I was seeing colours in front of me, in a “sape” and it was red / green / yellow.
They spoke behind me, the friend saying “do you think she have something?” But I didn’t really payed attention because everything seemed just natural to me.
After that, we went home, everything was fine, they were talking about occultism as usual, nothing anormal. But when the friend was going home, and when I was about to go to sleep, things started to get strange.
I closed my eyes and started to have my heart beating extremely fast, I felt a pressure in the middle of my eyes, just on the forehead and my eyes rolled back. I started seeing people suffering, screaming and burning in flammes; And always the face of a man with long hair and a beard fixing me. I was completely overwhelmed by fear because it was something I’ve never experienced before.
The more I tried to see, the more my heart was beating faster so I was forced to stop because I had the feeling that I would have a heart attack haha. It was just too much. I tried to wake my ex and explain It to him, completely afraid, and his only answer was “maybe you should face that alone.” I didn’t know what to do so I tried to go back to sleep and nope. It lasted all night. At a moment I’ve finally gave up the idea of sleeping and was just waiting for the morning to come.
My ex was living just near a church and since I was coming from a christian family I tought maybe I should try to go, just to let that thing go. I’ve been to the church and (it’s gonna be really cliché but) I had that feeling inside me that I didn’t belong here, nobody was in the church but I could feel looks on me and I immediatly go outside.
When I took the train I tought that it was probably bounded to my ex’s place. Arriving at home, sleeping time. Here we go again. Same visions, same feeling. I had these visions for more than one month, always wanted to understand what I needed to understand.
I’ve been seeing people who told me that it was spirit, one man who’s been doing shiatsu told me that my third eye was open, but it really doesn’t answer to the question : What I’m supposed to understand ?
I wasn’t sure about the category because the story I’m sharing isn’t even fully understood by myself. I still don’t know if a spirit wanted to communicate with me, or if it was another entity, something that wanted to “infuse” me… I don’t know.
What do you think?