Close your eyes and see

First, excuse my bad english I usually speak french so be ready for the eventual mistakes.
Second, sorry for the long text I tried to be short.

A long time ago, one of my disurbings evenements made me want to seek for more informations about the occult, still I was in a fear state as I was young so I had to live with all my questions never answered, although I tried to find people to answer them.

One day, when I was 14 I went with my boyfriend and his best friend who was really into magic and spiritism outside, they wanted to take me to a place “that I would like a lot”. We went deep into a forest, in front of a precipice and I founded the view so beautiful that I just sat there, watching everything. Already, it was a little bit special because I was seeing colours in front of me, in a “sape” and it was red / green / yellow.

They spoke behind me, the friend saying “do you think she have something?” But I didn’t really payed attention because everything seemed just natural to me.

After that, we went home, everything was fine, they were talking about occultism as usual, nothing anormal. But when the friend was going home, and when I was about to go to sleep, things started to get strange.

I closed my eyes and started to have my heart beating extremely fast, I felt a pressure in the middle of my eyes, just on the forehead and my eyes rolled back. I started seeing people suffering, screaming and burning in flammes; And always the face of a man with long hair and a beard fixing me. I was completely overwhelmed by fear because it was something I’ve never experienced before.

The more I tried to see, the more my heart was beating faster so I was forced to stop because I had the feeling that I would have a heart attack haha. It was just too much. I tried to wake my ex and explain It to him, completely afraid, and his only answer was “maybe you should face that alone.” I didn’t know what to do so I tried to go back to sleep and nope. It lasted all night. At a moment I’ve finally gave up the idea of ​​sleeping and was just waiting for the morning to come.

My ex was living just near a church and since I was coming from a christian family I tought maybe I should try to go, just to let that thing go. I’ve been to the church and (it’s gonna be really cliché but) I had that feeling inside me that I didn’t belong here, nobody was in the church but I could feel looks on me and I immediatly go outside.

When I took the train I tought that it was probably bounded to my ex’s place. Arriving at home, sleeping time. Here we go again. Same visions, same feeling. I had these visions for more than one month, always wanted to understand what I needed to understand.

I’ve been seeing people who told me that it was spirit, one man who’s been doing shiatsu told me that my third eye was open, but it really doesn’t answer to the question : What I’m supposed to understand ?

I wasn’t sure about the category because the story I’m sharing isn’t even fully understood by myself. I still don’t know if a spirit wanted to communicate with me, or if it was another entity, something that wanted to “infuse” me… I don’t know.

What do you think?

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Nice to finally know another fellow Belgian :belgium::ok_hand:
Now unfortunately I can’t answer what this/who could be. Although I have had a similar experience as you when I closed my eyes.

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Oh you’re from Belgium? That would be a pleasure to share future experiences with you.
Don’t worry… I’m still frustrated because I really want to know what it could be but I don’t expect the miracle answer today!

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From your introduction you said you had a christian upbringing yes? So what is your feelings and opinions on christianity and religion in general now?

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Yes, i’m Vlaams. But I currently live in Denmark. I just returned from my family trip to Izegem.

Now unfortunately I don’t speak much Flemish, because my mom thought it was not nessecary at an young age (she was wrong).

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So …
You had unanswered questions.
You went on a slight pilgrimage/retreat into nature.
You had awareness open up while in that spot.
Your friends were wondering if you had become aware.
You had pressure on the forehead, and had a slight panic attack.
You had a vision, horrific as it were.
You found a negative reaction upon return to a church.
The vision you had became repetitive.
Your boyfriend seems to think its a dark night of the soul, or a challenge you have to face.

A pendulum might be helpful. Yes or No answers. Call a spirit forth that can tell past/present/future.
Call the spirit forth until you can confirm their presence (does not have to be a demon).
Ask the questions and pay attention to pendulum answers.
Thank the spirit and dismiss the spirit politely.
Review answers with your friends, as they may have had similar experiences.

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To be honest, I’m trying to find the best path for me : I respect the convictions of my family and other people, but I do not consider myself anything anymore, I prefer being open to everything and reject the heteronomy of the good and the bad.

I have some principles, my values… Maybe like a lot of people, but I’m trying to stay really open-minded to any possibility because I think deeply that this is the only way to ascend.

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Well, if you want pm me so we’ll get in touch if you come in Belgium!

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Thank you for your answer! That’s really helpful, I’m going to try that.

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Fair enough, the reason i asked is many who come to magick from a family where any kind of magick is considered evil then their still carrying that with them and inside them, and it needs to be purged out of their system before they can truly move on, especially if there is a spirit already at work in their life.

I not saying that’s the case with you but the visions your experiencing is very common when one begins seriously down the path, fear and guilt, the two great giants that all must face before continuing, but once overcome are nothing at all, so i agree with Fuego and his recommendation, it’s your best option in getting the answers your looking for right now. :+1:

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Yes I understand, that was the case back at time, I was totally scared to burn with them hahaha. But well, that’s again what parents put in your head when you’re little if you’re in a christian family.

I’ll really try the recommendation of Fuego and let you know guys!

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I had my answers and will make a post today about it. This is totally crazy and unexpected, really unexpected.

Thank you for the help and the answers! @Fuego @charles9

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Je parle français :slight_smile: bienvenue!

Tu parle anglais très bien!

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Merci beaucoup!!

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The answer after all these years.