Challenging times

So I’ve been struggling for the majority of my life - extremely abusive parent, failing out of college, getting hooked on drugs, and ultimately leading to my current struggle of terrible health issues that are odd because I used to be active in soccer and cross country. I can’t get a job for my life atm as well. I have about 9 months before I’m kicked out of my home.

A year ago I would never even thought of spirits helping me and if heard someone was communicating with them I would’ve thought you were crazy. Yet here I am working on EA’s evocation course getting ready to call on demons.

I get this feeling sometimes that a lot of what I’ve faced in life has lead me to the occult and I just wanted to get you opinions on a few things.

Is there a reason that people like myself suffer? Like is there something that we need to learn in order to get out of constant struggle? Was some entity preparing me for the LHP or is that kind of thinking delusional?

Also did you have an entity or more you worked with on a daily/weekly basis that helped you rise out of your never ending cycle of suffering? I know that I can’t rely purely on spirits to do everything for me so I’ll be doing as much as I can to meet them halfway.

Sorry if these questions are stupid but I’ve come to realize that asking questions leads to better questions.


That is possible, that in a past life you asked Demons to never forget about them, if you reincarnate again, to come back to them ( that only f you believe in reincarnation) and asking them you can take anything they sen to you, to remember about them!
BUT, imo, no Demon Lords wants you to suffer for growth, it is a human assumption that we need to suffer to overcome…suffering!
This thoughts of yours have a kinda of “karma” background thought, don’t believe on it,
Also, having abusive parents is not something a Dark Lord would put in your path so you come back to them, your parents are human beings, and if they abused you, they are total disgusting crap, i feel happy you can still stand to yourself and have lucidity to come here and ask for help!
And remember, half of anything you have live after be conscious of be a human being, is entirely at your responsibility, like drugs etc,
The good side of this, is that you still do a lot of sports, and it will help you to overcome your problems!
Sometimes i think about faith, but most of cases i just believe anyone who comes o ask demons for help are just smart!
Sorry if i maybe be crude, but that is my opinion, as i don’t know your entire life,or the way you do to handle your problems!^^

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Everything you’ve described is typical of a victim of abuse. You hurt yourself and your health and continue to abuse yourself because you’ve been abused.

The left hand path is about taking back your power and erasing those things. Get back in the drivers seat and take accountability from here on out.

Lucifer has helped me tremendously but Belial would be good for this also. Then work on your feelings with Queen Beleth and Lilith.


Hi @Matt2,

Some people get everything and some people are flowting through live like a feather.
On the other hand i have learned much through suffering and created a better life with spirituality and left my old roots behind.


I really hope this path helps you and that you find the beings that you want to work with. I think they come on your path somehow. Even through reading and YouTube. I work with both. Angels and Daemons.

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Thanks, as crazy as it seems I’m actually excited for this new chapter in my life. I would choose this life over a normal mundane life, even if circumstances were this bad. And no that wasn’t crude, it’s always great to hear someone’s opinion.


I think that’s why I’m attracted to this path. I keep slipping in and out of the drivers seat but I want to stay there.

And it’s funny you mention that, I’ve actually felt drawn to work with Lucifer, Belial and Lilith. Haven’t read much on Queen Beleth yet.


It happens to the best of us. Lucifer is very good at making you face things and see them for what they are. A lot of times were holding baggage and ideals or habits that aren’t even our own.

Queen Beleth is the “ love demon” but for me she showed me the power of emotions and how to use them and transform them. Not to run from them or let them eat away at myself.


Interesting, I used to act like I was never effected by my past but I’m sure there are some deep rooted problems I need to face that is holding me down. Thanks for your help!


No problem! If you need help just ask :smiley:

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Thanks I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world after turning to spirituality. I plan on working with both as well.

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The other thing about abusers, that not a lot of people realise, is they can actually unknowingly bind you and even curse you. Magik is focused intention after all. So, they do it naturally from the focused hate and intention to see you fail to make themselves look better - especially common from narcissists. I’ve been on the receiving end of this from three different narcs in my life.

So, IMO, if you’re having such bad luck and hardship because you’ve been bound and/or cursed, your higher self could be leading you to the LHP so you can find this out and combat it in a magikal way. Therapy and facing the bindings that way (by another name) also works. Either way you’ve got to free yourself of the internalised patterns they trained you into, whether it’s fear of failure, self sabotage, escapism, whatever. They’re something you have, not something you are, which means you can get rid of them.


Huh… I never really thought about that. He always did see me as a failure and always compared me to my grandpa who he saw as a lazy guy who he absolutely hated for some ridiculous reasons. Trust me that I was nothing like that guy! But he always brought that guy up every time he would attack me. So you make an interesting point about it being intention.

I’ve actually had random thoughts similar to this throughout this year but refused to believe them. So would you recommend I do an uncrossing ritual?

Cool @Matt2, i’m here too if you need help.

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Whatever works that you deep down can know works without doubt. I’m pretty chaotic I do less formal ritual and more making it up as I go along, but I do get more structured if I need to really work up a lot of energy.

I add words similar to “I cancel, rescind and break all bindings, oppression, agreements, curses, pacts, contracts, and destroy all backups, copies and reinstatement clauses to experience pain and lack from [these people].” Picture rooting out any place their energy is clinging to you or holding you back and dispelling it.

Picture unwanted papers, energy, things attached to you going deep into the earth, or into the sun, or black hole at the center of the galaxy, whichever you prefer, to be recycled. Wrap it up in black if it helps. You might find memories and feelings surfacing as you do it - you don’t need to dwell on them, just let them pass through and out.

If the energy isn’t placed firmly away from you, it can come ‘home’, and you don’t want that, so don’t just dump it on the floor next to you, push it far away. Some might be able to filter and eat it, but I’d get rid of it.
Look for any threads or tendrils attached to you from this person that could be siphoning off your energy to them and cut them too.

Sometimes things like this that have been there for a long time have to be cleared several times to sort of wear them down in layers to finally get rid of the last bits. So don’t be disheartened if it appears to come back, it can take a bit for everything to surface and be accessible to work on. Just keep repeating the cancellation and know that you mean it, so it will work.

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We sound a lot alike. You can message me if you ever need to talk.

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Thanks! I’ll be trying this sometime