Hey everyone,
So this is gonna take me a while to write out so buckle up buckeroos. A few months ago, I was in an awful living situation brought about by two housemates who were married and had declining mental health due to covid and they’re own complete and utter dysfunction. I just wanted to be left alone so I more often than not spent every single day, morning noon and night, in my room. I essentially became a scape goat for the problems of their failing marriage and they were both witches who followed the Orisha. Now, I know we have plenty of Voudoun, Yoruba practitioners on here and I want to make it clear I do not hold commonly held stereotypes or believe the accusations of many make against them (i.e that they’re inherently evil and those that practice with them are as well). I’m not weak and I don’t fear power. I’m quite fond of Legba, even though he was on the opposing faction in this particular instance.
In the weeks leading up to this event, I felt blocked and one of our members, @NailOH, did a reading and found that my magic hadn’t been working and I was standing in a spiritual circle of fire. I was bound. I had shortly before had a dream in which I woke up in an alternate reality of my bedroom (as opposed to grey walls, I had wood paneling, also in the same reality I will describe later) and, in a very disoriented sleepy state noticed a cobra on my bed next to me, hissing and getting ready to strike. “is that a cobra? we don’t have cobras here, what the fuck are you…” and then it bit my forearm and slithered off my bed and out the open door (my door is never open while I sleep in any reality) and into the living room. I wasn’t scared, I was really just fucking irritated that someone would waste my time with such a feeble fucking psychic attack. I sucked the poison out, got out of bed, spit it on the floor and then walked out of my room and followed the snake as it headed in the direction of Tweetleretards room. I grabbed the snake by the neck and looked it in the eyes and said “How fucking dare you.” and then it hissed at me and I hissed at it back and then I literally bit its head off and swallowed. I threw the snake down on the ground and walked back into my room, crawled into my bed, and then fell asleep in that realm to wake up feeling amazeballs in mine.
A couple weeks later, I’m not sure what to call this, but I was so desperate for an escape and so desperate for an answer that I literally dream walked into another reality in which I owned their house, aka where I lived. With that being said, I met myself (who radiated a wild power unlike anything I have in this world) in that realm and the conversation, I’m paraphrasing mind you, went something like this:
“Hey, you’re here.”
“Yeah, I need your help with something. Basically Tweetleretard and Tweetledumbass are being awful and I need to get the hell out of here. I know they’re blocking my magic.”
“You mean you don’t own the house in your reality yet?”
“…no…why would I own that house?”
“Because Tweetleretard shot Tweetledumbass and then killed himself.”
“Ah… well… hm yeah I could see that shrug”
So we shoot the shit for a bit longer before he agrees to help me, he takes off his shirt and covers his face in a black inky paint, and puts on a green canvas cloak… we walk to the back of the house and pick up a chicken, making our way into the woods in the lot next door. It was a quick walk, irl only a couple minutes and he says some things that I’m not really sure of what that they meant and cleaves the head off the chicken, stringing it up to an overhanging tree branch. “Your separation has begun” and I asked “Separation from what” and when he turned around I saw not myself but the horned god himself. He took of his cloak… he was simply majestic. He smiled at me and I woke up with a gasp. About two days after that dream, one of the chickens irl went missing, and yes it was indeed the same hen that went missing. A couple weeks went by and the dumbasses are leaving me alone so I’m just straight chilling, going out for walks, driving around, shooting the shit with friends abroad. One day I wake up to go to an appointment and I lost my shit on Tweetleretard. I spoke to the same member that gave me my reading about being blocked and he told me to pray to Cernunnos and so I did. When his name fell from my lips the winds completely changed and the energy completely shifted around me. In the exact moment I finished praying, a crow flew about five feet directly over my head and I started feeling anxiety and having visions of coming home to find both my housemates shot.
Frantically, I texted Tweetledumbass and called a friend of mine who accompanied me on my walk home via phone. As I got closer to home I started seeing in my third eye concurrent realities playing out in different ways - 1.) I come home at the wrong time and get shot myself. 2.) I come home at the wrong time and end up gaining control of the fire arm and shooting his head off. 3.) I come home, everythings fine and then he tries to off me in my room that night. 4.) I come home and they’re both dead. 5.) Everything is fine. When I said in my prayer post that he saved my life, this is what I meant. I owe him my life. When I finally got home, I scouted out the house from the outside, making sure everything was quiet and fine and entered the house through the backdoor. Just as I was about to enter my room, Tweetledumbass comes out in the EXACT SAME FUCKING CLOTHES I SAW IN MY VISIONS on my walk home and I almost couldn’t speak. I could tell they wanted to say something to me about what had happened but they didn’t have the words and we just goofed off and I went to do some school work. Four days later, I get a phone call from the friend I was on the phone with that faithful and he spilled the beans - Tweetleretard jumped off the sobriety bandwagon that day and attempted to kill himself with a shotgun. At this point, I was so disgusted with both of them that I said “Well, when I said eat shit and die I didnt mean eat lead and lose your head.”
In conclusion ladies and gents, the King of the Forest saved not just my life, but resolved a bad situation by directly influencing the energy of space under the control of a Voudoun. He is nothing but pure fucking power.
Hail to the horned one!
I will keep you updated !