Cast a lust/love/sex spell on a guy who lives with you

Hey there. I am a 35 year old guy, new to magick but I want to learn. I have strong psychic abilities, am really into history, mythology and astrology. I do tarot cards and have strong intuition, but guild, shame and fear from childhood and past lives hold me back. I want to be free and live in a strong relationship.

I am in love with a guy. He has feelings for me, but it’s been difficult. Many communication problems, and he is really picky and acts like a bit of a diva. I give everything to him but he is very unappreciative. Feels like he is taking me for granted. I know we can be great for each other if he starts viewing me as a sexual mate and we share physical relationships together.

He is Cancer I am Leo. He has never had experiences with guys, and said he is afraid of having sex with me because that might ruin the relationship. We sleep in the same bed, but he doesn’t like to be touched and stuff. He has an intimacy issue and I want to break that!

I think he is afraid of what happens if we have sex. And maybe things about me have put him off. I want him to have strong sexual attraction to me so that we can finally have sex and become a couple for real.

Can you help me? I am very new to this. Any links to spells? What can I use to make him have lust me and make me sexually irresistable to him?

Thank you in advance!


Is this about homosexual relationship?

@awaking Right before you post anything else you’ll need to find the Introduction thread using the search and post an intro as to who you are so it gives some context to the situation. It’s a rule of the forum.


Well I am gay, he is not. He says he is bisexual but he has never had sex with guys before.

Okay thank you. I will do that!

Is he actually bisexual? How are you even together?

I’m going to be really blunt - I don’t understand why you would be sharing a bed; if he isn’t your lover or was your lover previously then he’s got no business being in your bed. “Taking you for granted”, are you his meal ticket by any chance? Are you paying for his lifestyle in the expectation that he’ll come up with the goods?

What benefit are you deriving from this relationship? What benefits is he getting? You don’t have to tell us - ask yourself.

If he’s not your lover or significant other then he’s a lodger and should be providing you with some form of recompense. I’m getting that you are doing all the chasing and work on this.

If you have a spare room move him into the smaller spare room, not the bigger one.

Sometimes the cards and psychic work can be blind for ourselves.

I’m perplexed. Why the hell is he sharing a bed with you - is he Gandhi? No seriously, this is no good for you and that is without any magickal intervention ie honey jars, calling on entities, angels or demons etc. Please just step back and evaluate what exactly you have here first and determine if this man is someone you actually truly want.

Many rituals can have unexpected consequences ie obsession (on part of the person doing it or the target becoming a stalker) and worst case you might be stuck with someone you thoroughly despise for a very long time and who is deeply uncomfortable with his own sexuality.

If you still want to go ahead then have a search using the :mag: up at the top right - there are a couple of things and on youtube.

Forgive me if it sounds harsh but I think you need to evaluate what is going on in the mundane world before stepping into the subtle and magickal to sort this out.

I wish you all the best.


So I read what you wrote and I get your point of view.

The thing is we met and we became really good friends he said he was willing to try with guys but he is not ready. He thinks he is gay/bisexual but he has lots of preconceptions, shame/guilt issues.

I think he just needs a push and that’s what I want to give him. I know we can have a great relationship and great sex. I just read a lot about the Cancer man that says he needs lots of space and stuff. He is high maintenance.

He had no place to stay so he is staying at my apartment. We split the bills. But I only have one room so we sleep in the same bad, although pillows separating us.

I am kinda doing all the chasing yes. I really like many of his personality traits and we are kinda complimentary opposites. But I am tired of doing the chasing and I want him to have lust for me. That’s all.


I would advise maybe approaching Pomba Gira she can probably help you . She works best with women and gay men . Dm me for more details . I’ll give you more details


Okay, we keep getting this question and I keep almost answering it and then thinking better of it, but you guys keep asking for it, so… The way to alter someone’s sexual orientation and make them lust after you is to create a powerful thought-form of the way you want them to be, then take remote possession of them and forcibly possess them with the thought-form so that it eclipses/replaces/overwrites their “normal” factory default nature. You have to have some astral skills. You have to create powerful, living thought-forms. You have to be ale to forcibly take remote possession of someone and I’m not sure how to explain how to do that or whether it’s something everybody can learn to do. This is the only thing I know of that actually works to the extreme that you can take a person and make them what you want them to be. To see it work is slightly terrifying. You can dabble with spells and sic demons on 'em but but it will only “influence” them for a little while. You have to reach into their souls and change who they are, how they think, and what they think they want. You create the imaginary person you want them to be and then manifest that person through their soul, mind and body.

Using conventional methods of influence like spells and spirits, you will run into the repression/sublimation issue – people deceive themselves by pushing uncomfortable things out of their conscious awareness or otherwise disassociating from them… So the guy gets horny around you but blocks himself from realizing that you’re the one making him horny… He’ll just say damn I’m horny and start talking about girls. Or he’ll develop romantic feelings for you but won’t consciously register them as romantic… he’ll just be very strongly attached to you. Or he will realize what he’s feelings are but will be too fearful and conflicted to act on them. If you’re going to use influence magic for sex, the target has to be open and non-repressed about the things you’re working on. If what you’re aiming for is WAY different from what they would normally be open to, you have to go the possession route, unless you want to wait years for the influence to pay off.


Trust me nobody on this planet is high maintenance unless they are indulged. Even old money are surprisingly not high maintenance. High maintenance is an affectation.

… and high maintenance.


I will agree with @HermesHorse here, I think he’s just using you so he has somewhere to live. I doubt he even “thinks” he’s bisexual, I’m pretty sure he knows he’s not, but he told you what you wanted to hear. He doesn’t even need to sleep in your bed, he can sleep on the couch or the floor or at the balcony, he’s staying in your house and not vice versa. I’m not sharing my bed not even with my best friend. Push him away a bit and see his reaction. If he lose some of his privileges then you will see who and what he is really. Either he will get angry and try to find someone else to live on his back, or he’ll “decide” that he is indeed bisexual in order to get back what he lost.


Sitri is your entity.Work with him.

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Thank you Virgowitch! How do I DM you?

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Based on the small description you gave me, he sounds narcissistic


This is so true! @awaking you should definitely try this to see who he really is.

Almost all the advise that I would give you has already been given by @HermesHorse and @Anassa

Never fall in love with anyone just because they look attractive and have some qualities that you’d like in a partner, love is a very deep set of emotions and falling in love with the wrong person will only do harm to you.


@awaking I am going through something similar at the moment, similar but not the same. I became friends with a guy that I instantly fell for. Things became even more complicated when he told me that he had MS. The relationship began as a friends with benefit situation and quickly escalated to feelings that became strong and fierce. I think in my mind I wanted to become his savior etc. One of the other things that also complicates things is that he is highly sexual. He enjoys ex with a variety of partners, and even though he has told me he loves me, he has made it clear that he is not in love with me. Now for him to say that he loves me is a huge deal for him as he is not a very affectionate or emotional person (messed up childhood stuff).
We have had huge fights and arguments over my being jealous of his “hookups” and doubting his words about how he feels about me. He has told me that he sees me as a “friend, lover, mentor, guide” he has utmost respect for me and love but that he simply does not have the same "obsession that I do with him. Our arguments have escalated to the point where we won’t speak for days. Recently he told me that he went for his MRI brain scan and he developed 3 new lesions in his brain from the MS. I was devastated, as you can imagine emotions ran high as I blamed my adding stress to his life as the cause for the lesions.
We decided to take a loooooooooooong ass break.
I know that he loves me and I love him, we have a strong connection and the funny thing is although we are apart, I know when he thinks of me. It’s odd but I can sense it. Typically after I get these feelings he will send me a text out of the blue saying “hey, are you ok?” I’ll respond with a yes and he will simply say OK.
I have said prayers to Lord Rosier to keep me in his heart and on his mind but not to force the love as that isn’t fair to him.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I was using him to fill a hole in my life, I have some insecurities and issues that I felt he could fill.
That wasn’t the case.
I realize now that I have to work on myself and fix myself before I can love another person as much as I may want them or “think” I need them in my life.
You may be infatuated with him and think you need him in your life as your lover, I promise you this isn’t the case.
This is what we’re all about. Elevating ourselves before reaching out that hand to elevate another into our life.
I know this probably isn’t what you’d like to hear, but from one gay man to another… I’m being honest.
I hope that you find what you’re looking for and if this is truly what you want, then I hope it works out.
Much love.

BTW I’m 45… I know shit. :kissing_heart:


Aren’t we all though? :wink:

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@Anassa I agree, when I thought I was bisexual because I didn’t want to admit I was gay I slept with both men and women. There really wasn’t much to think about, but it can also be that I enjoy sex very much so I just go with the the pleasure principal.:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


Ummm okay so here’s a simple solution to your problem. I feel like this is getting way more problematic than it needs to.

If you’re both sure that you’re into each other and you want to start something between each other you can work on giving a petition to a spirit of love.

There are many, and they don’t care about what type of relationship that’s being kindled. Lol only humans make a big deal over the meat suits they wear. Love is love.

You can work with Pomba Gira, as there many Pomba Gira’s I’d suggest working specifically with Pomba Gira Maria Padhilla or Pomba Gira Rainha de Rainha, another option is to work with Erzulie Freda or Anaisa Pye, both belonging to Haitian and Dominican vodun.

Or you can work with Hathor or Freya or Aphrodite. The point being don’t get bogged up in the specifics, as long as you’re sure of where you both stand give a petition to the spirit and explain why you need this and what it’ll do for you when you have it.

I have a post on here about building relationships with Gods and spirits. You can use that, petitions are one of the simplest things you can do as a beginner and they do work. The closer a relationship you have with a spirit the more you realized that some times the petitions you ask of them can be even more powerful than any spell you cast


This thread has had some great questions that will help you re-evaluate your interactions with this guy, as well as suggestions on the magical approaches you could take here. I see that Pomba Gira Maria Padilha has been mentioned more than once on here, and would urge you to take that as a sign. Watch out for any names that appear outside of this website as well. Omens like that may guide you towards the spirits, energies and operations you may have to perform.

With regards to smaller vectors, however, I can see that you have work to do, on yourself, and not just on your relationship with your roommate and crush. In the OP, you have mentioned feelings of guilt, and shame, from childhood and past lives. Could you clarify a bit more on those, because some insight into that may help us break restrictions to your magical progress.

Modern society is structured in a sexually repressive way. There is a culture of shame, and insecurity, which often takes its toll on the human psyche. It is a very predatory world, with expectations, shortcomings and limitations about the human body being more present than any positive traits. In other words, we are taught to hate our bodies. By breaking this boundary in yourself, any insecurities you may have about your sexuality, and your body, you will undoubtedly cause a reaction with him, or at the very least give him the safe space to feel comfortable with his own body and sexuality. Once this foundation of self-appreciation and self-respect is achieved, it should flow naturally, even with the attraction that is already present.

Despite not having a sexual element to her, Athena is a warrior spirit which can help you cultivate boldness, confidence, and courage, as well as strategize towards your own self-improvement, and at the end of the day, your well-being and power comes first. As far as adding a sexual element many spirits here have been recommended which can help you with all of this, but the Pomba Gira is the most recurring one, as she rules over all matters of passion.

Instead of immediately Googling everything you can about a spirit, I would suggest you begin to feel for her energy, based on the most basic information if you need it. This music in particular, has helped me connect to Her once, and if you can let go of all your concerns, fully giving into the sounds that you perceive and forgetting all the bundles of feelings and terms you call your “self”, then you will genuinely feel something, and by that feeling, you will be able to lead the remaining aspects of the magic.