Thank you for your comment! First I’d just like to say wow… you nailed a lot of things so well that it’s scary ! 
I know that others can’t answer my own questions, but I’m pretty much a rookie with about 0.1% knowledge in tarot and although I’m meditating a lot and doing rituals I still don’t fully trust my intuition… when I woke up, those were the only questions, because I felt that the dream ment something, but didn’t think of it as a lesson - when I asked my Higher Self, he just said “Do a tarot reading” and then I pulled the cards as I sensed them.
I would really like to thank you for your thoughts, because you gave me a lot to think about! I’m still familiarizing myself with the meanings, most of the time I look up the meanings, make a list of the words and phrases that I feel are relevant for each card and then try to work through them to put them together… I felt it too, that the Oracle cards hold the main meaning and although I thought I grasped their meaning, because they seem quite straightforward, your interpretations really opened up some stuff I didn’t feel. Don’t worry, you haven’t offended me, quite to opposite, I’m really amazed…
Lately I felt like that I finally was able to move on, and for months I haven’t dreamt about her and this dream was just like a sudden flash of lightning out of nowhere. My story here was that I really couldn’t let the relationship go and while I was working on myself I asked some spirits for someone who’s really similar to my ex and they gave me just that - the similarities and syncronicities were crazy! But after a few months I felt like something was off and I thought long and hard about breaking up with this new girl - it’s just the worst feeling when there’s nothing really wrong with them or the relationship and you have fun when you’re together, but there’s this unshakable feeling in the back of your mind that you shouldn’t be in that relationship and you can’t fully open up to them to make a real connection…
I spent my last year either learning more about magick, agonizing on the loss of that relationship which the spread is about (not the other one after it I asked for), and a lot of soul searching, trying to dig down as deep as I can go and figure myself out. I managed to know how and why I connect to others like I do, why my love language is the way it is, why I am (was?) hypersexual and other things like this. In another thread I made I gave out some other details:
For a long time I wasn’t really a grown up - rather than a big teen. The part where you talked about illusion and deception, lack of boundaries and self-awareness really speaks to me… I think we both were in some kind of an illusion; although we could pretty much talk out our every difference we never really seen each other’s other sides. We were always together for 1,5 years after she moved in with me and it was only by the end that she started to put up boundaries and I didn’t like that… it was a really defining relationship of my life, a new lens on how close people can be, when both you and them are blurred into one… it kinda defined what I want from a relationship. I still can’t let go of the want that I want to experience something very similar to this, but not that way like when I asked for it and it was empty. I’m kinda switching between the “I am an individual, I shouldn’t need a relationship to feel better”, but at the same time I want that deep connection where you’re both so intertwined with each other’s life that there’s no differentiation between the both of you.
During last year, when I did the psychoanalysis on myself I noticed exactly that - when I think about memories, eras, it’s usually the relationships I tend to look at first and how I felt during them. It’s kinda exhausting to be wanting to be an individual, but at the same time you don’t want to be one, because you want to lose yourself in the passion of a romantic relationship… I know I am secure without one and there are more aspects to life, but there’s that loneliness and also my sexuality which both drive me crazy sometimes…
It’s true that I still haven’t fully come to term with the past relationship, I think that’s exactly the reason why I had this dream after such a long time… and I still don’t know much about myself so I need to work more. I really like the “like moths to the flame” phrase there, I felt that too, but didn’t associate it with anything. I know I have all the tools that I need, all the rituals, spells, knowledge, skills to work through this - I really have to utilize them better. My only defense for your last before the last paragraph is that I was driven to pull more cards and I still don’t fully trust my intuition… 
Those questions sadly didn’t occur to me and I’m really thankful that you opened my eyes to them. You were really spot on with both me being drawn to my ex and people who are similar to her.
The funny thing is that I knew before I analysed myself or came to the occult that I was in love with love, but I always thought to myself that “how can other people be in a relationship when they aren’t as close to each other as flesh and bone? it’s empty that way”…
Thank you again and if it’s not much to ask I’d like to ask you to interpret the Tarot cards too - it’s not a bad thing to know more or maybe I’ll get to another new perspective I haven’t considered. 