So I thought I’d share this here, see if I get any advice or something, but I’m 27 today and I have no desire to celebrate whatsoever, I guess I just feel like I’m going nowhere at all. I have dreams, I have the potential to meet them, but from a very early age I was taught I’d never achieve them by the same care giver who when in danger demonstrated that you should abandon your child instead. I’ll save a lot of it because my housemate was in tears by my story ha ha! But if I could have any birthday wish, I’d wish for someone to heal me from my past, sure, making my housemate fall in love with me would be wonderful but, I kinda wanna make it as a martial artist and dive into the world of magick… a nice mental health/extreme motivation boost would be perfect ha ha!
Realistically, if I could wake up tomorrow with extreme determination, commitment and motivation, thats a dream come true, I’m like a tiger in captivity, I just want to be free.
First up, Happy Birthday! This is a special day, no matter how you feel right now.
Second:
Okay make today the day you leave that behind - you’re three times nine years, a very sacred set of numbers.
Are you game-on for taking control now? Are you ready yet?
Try this, first, today:
I give myself permission to leave the past behind, and choose my own horizons.
Repeat that (or something with the same meaning, that’s worded more to your own liking) at least 27 times, one to cancel each year you’ve lived under that shadow.
Then have a look through this:
Try finding a symbol of the person you want to be, could be a photo of a place you’d love to visit, could be an object, anything, find a picture or two of that (don’t waste ages looking) and keep it as your phone lockscreen or something.
Make that symbol your gift to yourself today, a legitimate gift that’s a promise to your own future.
Next up:
Ask yourself this magickal question:
What would it take?
What would it take in your life for you to do this? To feel this way? What blocks dedication daily, and whittles away at your good intentions? What would it take to not face those blocks?
Get really focused, think of this like, if you’d DIE if you don’t reach a realistic-but-challenging goal by February - what would it take to reach that goal?
If you were advising a friend you believed in, and you knew he could do it, how would you troubleshoot that for him?
And, “motivation”:
You cannot have things that are hard won, if you only want to feel easy (safe, delaying, self-comforting, etc) all the time.
To have hard things, things most people can only dream of, you have to be hard on yourself in some ways, and yes that sucks, but this is why most people are lazy, unsuccessful fucks.
CHOOSE not to be among their number, they don’t need any more manpower!
Motivation is great but sometimes you have to push through what the whiny toddler inside wants, forever seeking new and shiny things, and just commit.
I hope some of this helps, and I hope we have your back on this - and if you think my post sucks, fair enough, I wish you well and hope someone else hits the spot!
Just remember to take SOME positive and novel action today, something outside your comfort zone, that starts you on the path towards your goals, and then also, make sure to reward that - your birthday is very important, and some kind of treat that you’ve earned, and the memory that this is the day you committed, this is the day you chose to believe in your future, not stay enslaved to the past, will be a precious thing that will stay with you forever!
You are a wonderful writer first of all, still trying the spirit animal stuff by the way, still struggling but trying ha ha! I’m gonna dedicate some time to reading through and trying your recommendations, when “I give myself permission to leave the past behind, and choose my own horizons.” I felt a resistance in my chest which was interesting, I think I’ll make that a mantra from bow on.
I kind of feel the answer is simply letting go of past trauma, I’m trying, but hey I’m back in work, so maybe I’ll look into hypnotherapy alongside meditation, throw in developing some self-love, self-assurance and belief and boom, a cocktail for success. I feel like I need something to force out these oent up emotions as I have a shit ton ofself blame, I need to let go of guilt that shouldn;t be mine in the first place.
but I will look through and work through bit by bit this post and try it all.
Make everything you do today your own celebration and enjoy it. Each cup of coffee or tea and whatever you eat, feel the enjoyment of it. Go for a walk or something, do something creative and don’t judge yourself.
Find something in your day that feels good, even a little bit.
There are a lot of people who don’t reach your age and there must be things in your life that you do appreciate. Birthdays suck for many but this is your day so make it the best you can
This sounds too flippant just in text, and really is quite a big deal, but if you can find a way to make it part of your hero’s journey, part of your personal rationalisation for WHY you deserve success, why you deserve to be the kind of person who is successful, that may be helpful?
Huge topic for a forum post and obviously not as simple as it sounds, but still, how we frame things to ourselves can make a difference.
And along related lines, but simpler, this is an awesome method Afformations™ - ask yourself WHY you deserve big things (eg., “success”) and for small things as well, like “why do I choose to lift everyday” or whatever.
Also I forgot this, it’s really good and it’s going to work right alongside almost anything else you choose to try out:
Happy Birthday, OP! Not sure if my greeting’s still on time because timezones, but I hope you felt uplifted and inspired by everyone’s well wishes and meaningful advice, as well as gradually find the reasons (pretty sure there are plenty ) to truly celebrate yourself not only on your special day, but from today onwards.
I don’t usually do this in the forum but since it’s your birthday, I’m offering you a free tarot reading as a birthday gift. Also maybe to help even a bit with easing your anxiety and worry so you could gain clarity where it’s necessary? Feel free to take or reject this offer though depending on how you truly think/feel about it, no pressure at all.
I’m honestly not all that impressed with Jordan Peterson. I mean didn’t he succumb to drug addiction? Also, that whole idea about “be realistic” whose idea of what “realistic” is? You parents? Your old shrink? Your burned out teacher or professor? I hate the whole word realistic. I’m sure 2019, no one though, some virus putting so many people in lock-down so they would get out of doing stuff they hate was “realistic”.
Also the whole idea that life isn’t a game, its a series of games, well how about this, I will do one better, the purpose of life is to DESIGN THE GAME.
I’d happily take you up on that offer! so if I get any question, theirs been developments since the post in ways, so if I where to ask the cards something…
When will I move on from my past trauma, or, how can I move forward?
I don;t know how to word it, but in reality, I’m looking for hints for steps forward
I know the feeling all to well, abused for over 30 years but not technically abandoned. The mother of my daughter however is another story and abandoned our daughter recently after 3 years of abusing us. It’ll be my daughters birthday soon and she certainly deserves better, I on the other hand haven’t felt like celebrating my own birthday for a long time, but it’s time to change that, it was a wake up call for sure. Happy belated birthday.
Appreciated, though I wouldn’t call myself a hero or seek to be admired in that sense, but I do thank you.
Bad choices and clouds with silver linings, is more the concept. Even if I’m being self critical, it was my responsibility to have a child with the woman in the first place and in that responsibility is my strength, had I been stronger and less blinded then to both my intuition and past happenings with her rather than trying to see the best in people, my daughter wouldn’t have been born into such a predicament. I’ll make sure she receives your happy birthday wishes.
) to truly celebrate yourself not only on your special day, but from today onwards.