This is just my journal about my journey to becoming a goddess. I’ll list experiences that help me improve, and I might even add in the littlest things.
It can range from me sharing music that helps empowers me to some great meditation experience. I believe things like that would be relevant for me to share. It’s even the littlest things that helps me improve.
This may be a long journey, but I’m ready for it!
If any of you want to add insight on any of my experiences, you may. 
**Journal Entry 1**
You can make a list of your flaws and ask the gods/goddesses to help you improve them in any way to try to be stronger
Most of 'em are extremely difficult to fix. The most I’m just worrying about is my appearance, anyway.
There is always a way to improve anything even the most difficult things it is a journey ask to be shown ways to improve what you want changed there is a method E.A speaks about in the soul traveling course where you soul travel then envision what you would like to appear as and it will manifest on this plane from the higher realms of consciousness
I’ve tried to fix my appearance for years. Nothing improved in any way. I feel cursed so I might as well just accept it instead of fighting it.
You’re not cursed. You have to heal the root cause of whatever is making you feel this way. Part of being a Goddess is knowing your flaws and not giving a sh*t. I used to think I was cursed and ugly, and I was really insecure. But as the saying goes: “We are our own worst enemy”, our insecure thoughts attract more bad energy to ourselves. After awhile I started to get comfortable with myself and my flaws and i love myself anyway.You must fight negative energy and insecurity by being comfortable with who you are. When you learn to love yourself no matter what, that is where your power is 
Journal Entry 2
I’m sure we’ve all gotten a little emotional over something at some point. Well, yesterday I surely did. Now, the thing is I’m a super emotional person and my emotions are 2x as bad as normal. Meaning I feel sadness a whole lot worse, and even if it’s just over a sad and homeless puppy.
The point I’m making here is, that’s a lot of emotions right? Well, I ended up trying to use that over emotional state to empower me and help me with something. That something was awakening one of the old ones. I’m sure a lot of you heard about them. Well, lets just say it was indeed successful.
It’s kinda surprising for me to be able to do that. I guess sometimes emotions can really help empower you. That helped a whole lot. The reason I’m saying this is because I believe it helped me on my journey a whole lot. Awakening something powerful is obviously no joke. I’m gonna have a lot more entities focused on me. I’ll work towards being ready for it. 
Journal Entry 3
I’m pretty sure I took a step that’ll definitely help in my journey on the long run. Dantalion wanted to work with me. So far, in my opinion, he sets out the truth of things and may be strict about it, but I know it’s for the best. He doesn’t sugarcoat anything, or he doesn’t try to at all.
Now, what he has me doing so far is to simply have conversations with him all day. The reason is because I fear that I may be losing my sanity if I attempt to speak with an entity for too long. He knows that if I speak with him all day, I’ll soon realize the difference between my thoughts and when others are actually speaking. I’ll be able to release a couple fears then.
He just basically told me “I’m gonna be around for a looonngg time, so get used to me.”
Journal Entry 4:
Finding your godform can be exciting for anyone, and it surely can help you along your magick journey. I found my godform, Hecate. It sure did make me happy, honestly. I noticed how in ways me and her are alike. It just felt so thrilling that I can’t exactly describe all how I was feeling.
I also think she’s been here for me several times before. I did start noticing how an entity tried to watch out for me and they are similar looking to Hecate. I realized it might actually have been her, because of trauma I went through recently, and she was there for me. I could sense that.
(There definitely were other entities there for me, though, yet I’m very grateful to all of them.)
A song that helps me out a bit through the hard times. It gets me standing back up on my feet and ready to continue my journey.
Journal Entry 5:
Well, I’m getting better at visualization and astral travel. It might not be a huge improvement, but I am glad I’m actually making some progress. I found out that visualizing and/or astral traveling, when I first wake up, helps a lot. It’s when I’m still half asleep. It seems to do wonders for me.
My experience this morning did, however, concern and confuse me to some point. I remember seeing myself walking in a desert and I saw a pyramid. I tried to get myself to be able to visualize further, but it was like something was really holding me back. Then a mysterious voice warned me that there are others who will stop me from uncovering the truth.
After that, I then appeared in front of an ice castle. Yes, I did jokingly think “Oh, boy, I’m Elsa!” Okay, back to being serious. I walk inside, and no, it looks nothing like Elsa’s castle, therefore I knew it wasn’t my crazy imagination. I walked up spiral stairs, and then I found myself in a bedroom. I looked out a window above the bed, and I could see the whole snow landscape and the trees. It was pretty magnificent to look at. I then noticed I was being followed. When I turned around, that was when I was attacked. The entity had me pinned down on the bed, and he tried doing other things… I panicked and tried using any bit of power and/or defense on me. I believed I knocked him off, and pretty much surprised him. I managed to quickly travel back home, and was greeted by concerned entities…
Well, I did progress some and learned I very well have to be careful with any little traveling I do…
Journal Entry 6
I’m slowly getting better at visualizing and astral travel. Even after each little meditation, I get a little bit better.
Especially after today’s meditation. It was just 5-10 minutes, so that means it was really quick, but so much happened in so little time. I remember immediately envisioning a Phoenix. Then the vision shown it was locked in a cage. I was shown that I needed to grab a key that was laying around, and help free the Phoenix. When I found the key and helped free it, I heard a feminine voice speak to me. I heard something like how she was thanking me. I looked around and saw this lady. My vision was blurry but I think she was wearing all red and had red hair. She then kissed my forehead. I felt the weirdest sensation where she kissed me. It was crazy. After that she just vanished off somewhere.
I’m not sure what to make of this, but I feel that it has some importance. 
Update:
All I know now is that I surely am extremely tired. It was so short of a meditation, but it drained me so much. What just happened? 
I have a girlfriend that was by all means a mud fence, but her soul and her love radiated from her. She got more love and dick than anyone I knew in addition to the admiration of men oodles and oodles of men. It taught me a huge lesson - its not what you package yourself has its what you put into yourself. RE3 you are a gem among the mounds of shit…
Interesting, and thank you
This song really pumps me up, to be honest, so I’m just going to put this here. It really helps put me in a mood to get stuff done!
Journal Entry 7
I just completed another interesting meditation. I thought it wasn’t gonna get anywhere, but be a simple meditation that focused on my breathing and releasing stress.
It did feel like I was focusing on the basics for a long time, but then I started to see visions. I saw swirling clouds that formed into a tunnel. I suppose it was like a portal? Apparently I arrived somewhere new. A voice told me basically “You’re in the new world. You may not see anything now, but you will soon.”
I was told to focus on the first thing I saw and all I saw was like a strange green energy continuously rotating counter clockwise. It didn’t keep a definite shape, but it was just roaming freely - however it wished. I don’t know whose energy it was, and I also don’t even know why that was the first thing I saw.
Anyway, I was told to try my best to continue to focus, but someone said something like “Don’t push her too far. That’s enough for today.” Then I was knocked out of my meditating state. I still am unsure of who they were, honestly.
Anyway, wow, what another interesting journey!
Update:
I almost forgot to add that before I was told to vision anything, I was told to focus on feeling/sensing things. I really couldn’t sense much of anything. It was weird.
Exploring different music. Found this and decided this’ll be great for an energy and confidence boost.
Journal Entry 8
Well, I realized I very well may have been traveling dimensions for a couple years. When it first happened I figured it was just another crazy dream, but over time I started to realize maybe it was for real… When I woke up this morning after having another dimension travel dream, I did realize completely that it all actually happened…
I can’t remember much about the dream, but only very few things and what I was told when I woke up. In the dream, I was in a point of view of me from another dimension. Honestly, not the first or second time I viewed another dimensional me… Anyways, “other me” was realizing maybe she didn’t need Deimos. Yes, Deimos, god of terror and the god I’m also in love with. She let go of him. When I woke up I was told to “NEVER LET HIM GO!”
I also remember being almost completely asleep still, but trying to write this down:
Yes, bad hand writing, I know. I was almost asleep, after all. Anyway, I’ll type down what it is that was written.
"You are by far stronger than any other Calli." Aka, any other versions of me.
"There will be others after you. Yes, entities and more." That part makes me nervous. Who wouldn’t be? Well, probably someone who is great at magick…
"Don’t let him go. Never." I do care for Deimos. I really do. This all reassures some things for me, though…
I’m still trying to wrap my head around all of this. This did strengthen my senses some. I just never would’ve guessed that I was stronger than any other version of myself… It’s crazy but kinda cool.
Also, before the message was even written down, she did actually say something like “I know this sounds cheesy as h***, but you are stronger than any of us.”
“Us” meaning any other version of me.
Journal Entry 9
Well, that statement rings true sooner than I’d like it to. I noticed I was already being drained of so much energy, so I had to banish off some entities. I don’t really like kicking entities out, but I also don’t like being drained so… My well being matters more than them. The harsh truth. 
