Have you read S Connollly? You might want to if you’re going the demonolatry route.
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Browsed a bit of her books, but yeah, good call, might as well go to a well known authority on it.
The question is, to whom? Who can instantly repair everything gone wrong? Thats my new slave owner. And then where or how is a self initiation done as a demonalotor? Either that or leap off a parking structure to rung in the new year and let the winds decide.
Jesus man, really… 
Is that what it’s coming to?
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This is my mental state right now,.
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Looks like you’re heading for a meltdown bro. Go crack a beer and put on some music, or watch a movie man but take a time out to get things together please, for your own good bud.
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Thinking the same, otherwise, it will be a not so happy new year for me.
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I always look like a drama queen, perhaps I never really pointed to the urgency of matters.
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I just hope whoever the asshole is who’s been cursing me will finally be satisfied next year.
Maybe I should worship the hitmen of the goetia. Maybe things will change.
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We get it, you’re going through a hard time coming into your own with magick. Growing isn’t always a beautiful or graceful thing to watch, we get that too. Infact pretty much everyone here has been exactly where are you are now. The difference between them and the dropouts is perseverance and persistence.
Another thing bud, whatever your beef with the indians is if I were you I’d try to keep that kind of shit to yourself,you’ve a a right to your opinions sure but there are alot of great people from India right here on Balg and some of them may even want to help you. I’m telling you that because some of your earlier comments weren’t endearing. Food for thought my friend.
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I understand the India thing, and that it was at most a handful involved at most, but outsourcing/offshoring destroyed my life countless times.
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Because the subject of suicide seems to be reoccuring for you recently I’d like to quote LadyEva:
Just leaving this in case you’d like to reach out to a professional.
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Apologies to all from India, but you have no depth of knowledge of how they destroyed my life countless times without regard. Therefore they are not my friends. Sorry for the association thing, it happens anywhere. If it sets your mind at ease, Brazil, Malaysia and countless other countries were involved but to a lesser degree. I like your food and all of you generally, but I detest the people responsible.
Not to mention, someone was talking about curses and the target praying to hindu gods, so that was part of my refusal as well.
Ive no more words left to say at the moment.
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Appreciate it, calling County in a minute. I may be hospitalized again and lose what I have left of my life. Why should I really care?
Anyway. Who is the source or eternity?
I want to talk to its manager.
There must be an answer somewhere, offs, one of the books of this site is titled “Evoking Eternity”. Well, how do I contact it?
Okay, so as usual I pissed some people off. Im not terribly surprised, nor should you be.
Perhaps we need to live a day in each others shoes and get to the real problem.
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Okay, so I guess the best insights I have so far is to read Stephanie Connelly over a break from magic, before I decide to step into a new universe in the new year.
I guess lets all cross our fingers and hope things change for the better for me and for you.
Happy New Year.
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Well, I guess the most direct route to an answer is to pick up his book myself, see if there is a sigil, if not, then just call to it, even though when I do so Im just talking hot breath to a cosmic brick wall.
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No one is cursing you. When things go wrong we always like to find something to blame everyone except ourselves. Own up to it, take the responsibility, just know it can’t get worse than this which is good. So the only way is up. Also everything seems more dramatic in the heat of things but take a step back relax.
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I am well, everything is well.
In all honesty, I think you should step away from magic til you’re in a healthier place mentally.
Your refusal to just let go is harming you.
None of this stuff is going anywhere. You can leave and come back to it later.
This mentality of “miracle or death” is bad dude.
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