I’m so sorry to read this is going badly for you right now.
The practical steps @Mulberry suggested are important.
Also, if you’re having thoughts of hurting yourself, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help, such as a crisis helpline in your country. Please visit this link to find the appropriate number:
If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call your local emergency number or go to your local hospital emergency room right away. If you are unsure of the right number to call, please visit this link and call the number next to the country where you are located:
Almost every country has a similar crisis line and people who are waiting to hear you out, and help as much as possible.