"Become a Vampire” spell/poem to Selene

I performed this ritual 3 days ago (full moon) at midnight.
In preperation I wrote the poem into my new book of shadows and I came across Selenes and Amborgios story. I sobbed bitterly at how beautiful it was.
Around 1 hour before midnight I went to the rooftop and gazed at the full moon. After some time I began seeing the face of a baby in the moon and it stayed there as long as I looked. I thought thats interesting because the poems references a “womb” and “being reborn as her child”, so that definitely fits.
At around midnight I lit a candle (no artificial light because Selene is a moon goddess) so I could read the poem. I poured a glass of milk as an offering (milk because its white as the moon) and I invoked Lucifer and Lilith to watch over and protect me should something go wrong.
Then I called out to and welcomed Selene.
I talked a bit about how much I liked her story, how I long for such a love aswell (minus the whole chastity thing :upside_down_face: ) and how I want to become more myself, learn more about myself and how I believe that this ritual/path will get me there.
Then I began reciting the poem for her.
I dont exactly recall how often I said it. Initially I aimed for 3 times because I like that number, but I felt like I was building up the morr I read it, so I just kept going (probably ended up reciting it like 10+ times). I kept building and felt like crying. When I couldnt hold it in anymore I stop reciting and just sat there and cried. I became incredibly hot and stripped all upper body clothing. Then I got a vision of a man (presumably a vampire) approaching me, asking in a neutral tone “why are you crying?” while marking my forehead with a red cross and leaving again.
I sat there for a few more moments, thanked everyone for coming and closed the ritual.
Btw, I was already tired at 8pm that day so staying up that long was actually realy hard and I consider it part of the ritual for me.
So I was incredibly tired after the ritual and went right to bed. While laying in bed I saw visions of vampire related scenarios: a pile of skulls, a necromancer, sharp chilly mountains, a castle, etc. The images were at once strongly saturated with color, yet also distant, dark and cold at the same time.
During my sleep I dreamt of an old enemy who had lured me into a corner and tried to attack me. It was one of these dreams where you know that you will lose the fight…only this time I didnt. He multiplied into 2 versions of himself and when the first one attacked I immediately bit into his arm with my vampire teeth, twisted it and really nastily broke it backwards. His second version of himself went like “gross!”, but I didnt stop there and broke the same arm in another 2 places and did the exact same to his other arm aswell, disabling him completely. Then I did the same to his copy. End of dream.

The next day I woke up with a headache. I thought it was because of the candle in my room and me not letting in any fresh air before going to bed, but Im still ill so its not the candle.
I did remember that the next day I felt really sleepy the whole day. I felt like my body is WAAAAY to heavy (never felt this before in my life) and like I could instantly lose 30kg to be myself, or that I could just step outside of my body and the whole world. ← thats really hard to describe but the whole feeling was very refreshing and felt incredibly good. I think I should lose some weight :grin:
Anyway, thats all that happened up to this day. The illness ended up being actually good for me because I had stressed myself out for mundane reasons before and the illness gave me a much needed pause from it all.
Idk if the illness is actually related to the ritual but it seems pretty obvious that it is. Im reasoning that its part of a transformation process.
Anyway, should more things happen in the future I’ll respond back here.

EDIT: Also, and this is probably due to the illness but anyway, my appetite is WAY lower than usual. On the other hand my appetite for sugar is through the roof. While the lower appetite is explainable by the illness I never had a high appetite for sugar when ill sooooo…weird.

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