…or so it feels like. Hello all, I am a newbie who has no practical experience, however it has to be a sign that I keep stumbling into spirit-guide-partner-type communities on and off for years (heck I could be closing in on a decade here but old forums have died so no way to know for sure). What usually happens is a read a lot and then get anxious to the point that I drop everything. Not sure how to get over that (alas, having generalized anxiety disorder really doesn’t help me here lol). I’m hoping the one upside of having depression (increased dreams/REM sleep) can help me in some way somehow in all this.
I have had a few experiences in the past that I can’t quite explain and a lot of failed attempts at what seems like everything (AP, binaural beats, guided meditation, lucid dreaming), but that’s about all I’ve got going for me experience wise. Been to some really weird corners of the Internet regarding partner/guide/spirit stuff. I have been reading threads in here all day and decided to take the plunge (sorry in advance if I end up disappearing yet again).
Oh, a/s/l right? 33/F/Canada. I’m not a particularly interesting person, I just happen to have always had a weird love of mythology, especially dragons and serpents
There is certainly a lot out there! I picked up some crystals earlier this year on a whim but haven’t learned a lot about what I can do with them. They look nice tho, even if I can’t figure anything else out about them.
Again, I just worry if something (ex. ritual/offering) I do is not done absolutely perfect I’ll like, piss off said entity and maybe something bad will happen to me, it’s intimidating
Well, I make mistakes all the time. For example, there are certain words I have to pronounce during the rituals and such… I always butcher at least one! Today I even mispronounced a name.
But the spirits understand and “close enough” is actually enough. They don’t get pissed by honest mistakes, as far as I can say.
A heads up: angels can be intimidating as fuck. More so than demons.
Honestly I’m at the lowest point I’ve ever been in my life; been home for a couple months stuck with physical symptoms my doctors haven’t pinpointed the cause of that keep me from going to work.
I’m aware I need to change, well, everything (food, lifestyle, weight, motivation, energy levels…), but I’m also pretty terrified of not being able to “undo” what gets done if I can’t deal with what I changed. Maybe I just need a “don’t be a damn wuss” spell lol
I’ve been thinking on this for a while, but I still am not really sure, just that I feel like I should do “something”. Sorry, I guess I went off on an introspective instead of an introduction, staying up late on low sleep I just wasn’t thinking clearly.
Originally got interested in AP/OOBE/Lucid Dreaming to try to give myself something interesting/fun to look forward to as my waking life is kind of crap. All I’ve gotten out of it is decent dream recall and a couple notebooks of old dreams logged.
In one of the communities I was following in the past, people had entities that would fight/protect them and there was a big emphasis on defensive abilities; it got to a point where it started sounding scary and if I couldn’t tune into this stuff maybe it wouldn’t affect me. But that’s probably wishful thinking as I’ve only gotten worse since then. Having a friend/partner/guide entity sounded like a cool idea until I got into the “why would anything want to be around/with me when I don’t have any kind of ability to communicate with?” mindset and dropped it.
I will do some more reading later once I’m feeling more awake.
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