Hello again. I decided to open a discussion about scientist/atheists.

As a scientist myself I learnt to reject everything supernatural/metaphysical related to relegion or not. So I was an atheist for quite a long time - of course I was, my prayers as a teen to my christian God have never had a result.

That changed, because I felt a strong inner calling and becaused I remembered that in my early childhood years I was claircognizant. And many other things than this actually, brought me here.

This is what I would like exactly to discuss wiith you guys. I would love to hear from people who are scientists and were atheists (or into agnosticism) to share, about what made you turn into the Magick way. Feel free to share your experiences.



I have to say inner knowing.

I was an atheist from the age of 8 to 23, I studied sciences and gained a degree in Theoretical Physics. I was not an atheist because of science, and one of my friends who was a Christian, when I pointed out the beauty and complexity of the universe (we were astrophysicists) and I asked how can you see this and believe in god?" he said, “How can you not!?”. I was an atheist because I had prayed to god to save a bird only to sense unequivocally that nothing was listening.

I never lost belief in ghosts and the Fae, as also growing up fey in a fey family the evidence was clear. There are subtle energies that science was not even trying to explain and people that did were ostracised and grants were thin on the ground and hard to find.

But I didn’t believe in gods or higher beings, and I thought that once you died as a human, there was only oblivion, and ghosts were residual energy recordings captured by the piezoelectric qualities of stone and other natural features.

What happened was at 23 I was suicidal and while I was planning to “leave” I heard a voice say “you know you’ll just reincarnate, don’t you”. I thought “no, I didn’t know that”. he quality of this message was that to my inner knowing it came from nothing I was acknowledging existed so far, something higher, but not a god. I wanted the oblivion, reincarnating would be pointless, I had to make this life work and that’s what I did.

But now my mind was curious, and curiosity is the one thing that actually drives me. Not sex and not art, which I see as the other two creative forces, but curiosity. That’s why I was a scientist.
Clearly I had been wrong about what was real, and I wanted to know everything.

I sat on it for a while, I didn’t know about the occults and wouldn’t for many year, so I started doing Tai Chi, and then qigong, investigating and learning to directly feel and control unseen energy.
My worldview and practice is still informed by my knowledge of qigong, and it has never failed me, everything boils down to patterns of different types of energy in the end.
Energy that is sentient, which is the key difference to the view from Physics.

I’ve since found paranormal research, and empirical, proven work of psychic from people like Ingo Swann, (and developed by the military of the US an Russia), Michael Raduga and others, and realised that hidden in China is a massive body of work on qigong, that almost takes it too far and away from the spiritual again for me. There’s also a lot of research that is considered classified, because people being able to do thinks like, walk through walls, sets up major questions for national security.

So, science does not reject everything at all. Science is about asking questions, and forming models to predict the answers to those questions. Science is not truth, and never was after it split from philosophy, it’s just modelling reasons for technical observations. Psychic and subtle energy is hard to measure, and the best instrument to measure it at the moment is the human body, which is difficult to calibrate to make precise observations. It’s uncomfortable to not have every minute aspect mapped, assumptions unclear and datasets so large the patterns are hard to analyse. They just need to design the experiments appropriately when you don’t know anything about a complex environment.


This is crazy because our stories are quite similar…like walking on the same path, or something.

I’ve been suicidal for a lot of years and that’s mainly because I’ve seen a lot of inequality in my life. To be specific, I’m not studying what I want, because my parents didn’t have money to support my studies abroad. I wouldn’t like to share exactly my studies here though, but if you like to learn more ofc you can message me.

It’s crazy, but I have felt being hexed for the past 7 years. Like everything I wanted was blocked and whatever I was putting myself into was going totally wrong!! It wasn’t until recently I told myself that I don’t deserve this situation. I deserve to be the best, because I have worked for it.
And this is how I found this forum guys. Felt like a massive awakening hit me. And I’m feeling that I’m changing not only spiritualy, but also outside.

Working with spirits right now, feels the best path for me to follow.


I was an atheist for a long, long time.

And I got into magick because Grant Morrison didn’t try to sell me anything but “do this, that will happen”. Natural curiosity did the rest for me. Of course I started with the chaos paradigm.

But to be honest, I don’t know if even to this day I’ve changed. I may still be an atheist since it is so fucking hard to believe anything. And the one time I heard weird things I dismissed them (and still think it was the right call to dismiss them, since I really didn’t know where such sounds came and going from “I don’t know” to “A wizard did it” is quite the leap)

My atheism came from “show me some fucking evidence or stop saying you know everything”. Also, part of my taxes go to finance the church and that makes me sick. Can’t say more than that, since it would be too political for BALG

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Ooh this one is for me.
I am a scientist, first atheist and now I’m into magick (I don’t dare to call myself a magician yet).
First of all, I agree with everything Mulberry said, I’m having a similar opinion on spirituality in general.

My parents were atheists, but my grandma was a devoted Christian. We also lived in a very Catholic country and all of my classmates had the subject ‘Religion’ at school so I went too. If I didn’t, I would be the only child left out and my parents didn’t want that. So I received all the sacraments and everything, but all the time I struggled to believe in it. Not because of my parents, we didn’t talk about religion at all, but because the energy was bad, the priests were shady, and it just didn’t sit right with me. I always felt uncomfortable in church because I felt like I didn’t belong.

So when I finished elementary school that was it for me. I was 14 and I was so happy that I don’t have to continue with that.

When I was 15-16 I started reading about spirituality and different religions, still, nothing ever clicked 100%. For years, I was into New Age, law of attraction, astrology, but I was bothered with excessive positivity, love and light philosophy, etc.

I don’t consider myself a ‘dark’ person. If you saw me on the street, you’d never imagine what I’m into. But I always knew that spirituality couldn’t be just light, we also have to work with darkness to see the complete picture.

Finally, in the last few years, I had a series of unfortunate traumatic events which led me to magick and this forum. I bought several books and started practicing. I’m still a beginner, but I think I can finally take life under my control.


I wouldn’t define an atheist as one that denies magick or the subtle parts of reality but rather one that knows, accepts, and embraces such as objective parts of existence no different than say quantum fuckery that seems so subjective at times. The only ones that deny blatant parts of reality are materialists. So I would still consider myself an atheist just one with greater knowledge of reality than most but there is nothing religious or ideological about it except as a means to describe or lock it down into practical models that can be operated with by certain procedures.


I turned agnostic and worked in Biotechnology for a while before moving in IT and currently work as an analyst.

I don’t mix my Science and Occult. Most Occultist latch onto scientifoc concepts, but lack the practical (or even basic topic) knowledge of the areas they like to quote. It makes them seem mystical and relevatory to those that know less than them and sad or disappointing to those that know more.

I used to collect old Psychic books from the 60’s and 70’s back in the 90’s-2005. This was rife with “scientific” nonsense. You’ll find it in posts, books, and videos to this day, even in Balg materials.

Occultists are drawn to Science like moths to a flame, it seems. They can’t explain something they know exists and then try to find more socially acceptable answers for something we know is largely experiential.

I largely don’t mix them. I don’t need “scientific” excuses/explanations for what I do. Instead, I document what I do, what I experience, and any results and if Science catches up before I die, then fine. Good for them. I’ve moved on without the need for theor approval.


Good idea to discuss about.

I was atheistic in my teenage years;
I was raised christian by my parents but I wasn’t explicitly christian like being forced to believe in the bible and x and y theology… it was a vague belief in supernatural and a god who interacted by his son, Jesus; that’s it.

In my teenage years as I explored about the whole ‘debate culture’ and Dawkins, Darwin and Nietzsche… i thought that there was only material world which could be seen by the majority of people, anything else was hallucination or delusions, or cult manipulations.
The supreme world was what could be seen and measured scientifically, I thought.

Then I started having out of nowhere, very intense nightmares where I saw this ‘being’ which clearly wasn’t human, and it became more and more intense; something was trying to talk to me and show me something.

From that point on, I was open to the idea that there was ‘another reality’ other than the waking-measuring one; it took months for me to entertain it truly but I wasn’t convinced how ‘real’ it was until I had a few time-bending sleep where I saw very clear signs of futur events,
sometimes week ahead… sometimes a day or two ahead… sometimes a day before.

This was where I considered that there was a ‘reality’ beyond what ‘most’ can provide a consensus for.
It took me years to truly embrace it, as this is viewed as ‘fringe’ or ‘low class’ thinking in today’s culture, but I have learned to try going beyond what is deemed this or that in today’s culture and any culture tbh.

That doesn’t mean the way many religions speak of it is true [that this world is transient and futile, or completely impotent to that thing], but it exists from my experience; and that one can cause an effect to the other world.
That would be my story.

I’ll wait to hear more from this thread.


I realized I didn’t answer a few things here. I was perfectly content with being “spiritual, but not religious” (including any spirits) until Hecate came to me and I couldn’t deny what was happening. While I had seen ghosts and spent enough time in Nature to see glimpses of land spirits, I shoved that out of my mind.

But, when Hecate came when I moved to Hawaii in late 2018, I couldn’t deny it, couldn’t shut it off, and had to accept that something was happening. I had been through the battery of DSM tests through the VA (Iraq vet, requested it) several years after Iraq (2003). PTSD, but no issues outside of that.

Then, Hecate came in 2018. I recognized that those old “skills” (I used to read and practice from books on the Subconscious and Psychic topics) came back. I simply couldn’t deny what I was experiencing, yet had proof that I didn’t have mental illness associated with similar things.

Truth is, I couldn’t deny it anymore with legitimate proof in my face. Not irrefutable proof, but I don’t need that.


This is exactly what I’m dealing with right now.

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Very interesting one! Thank you!

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It was my desire for godlike power that lead me into magick in the first place. My interest in philosophy and religion first came later as I through my occult studies came across concepts like gods, angels and demons, soul, spirits etc.

I feel a lot of these philosophical discussions have been a waste of time because it never lead me closer to the truth. Now when I have learned to use pendulum it has helped a lot to communicate with the spirits in rituals but still I find it difficult to understand.

What is angels? What is demons? What is gods? Can it be explained with Jungian psychology? Are spirits a manifestation of the element of spirit? And is the element of spirit the same as Brahman in hinduism? I agree what a male witch told me many years ago. Magick does not make life easier but it makes it more nuanced. Faith brings you nowhere. Magick is advanced knowledge and skill that takes confidence to develop which can be hard for a doubter like me who wants to know and not believe…

Nice reading all these different stories from atheism to magick.
For me it is opposite, I went into science because I was always spiritual and born into magick so I felt finding ways to match science with my experiences was the most logical step for this life.

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My only “religion” was the Law Of Attraction since i was able to make it work in unbelievable ways.
Then i lost this ability for psychological reasons, and i got into magick to find some answers and to take that ability back again. Magick never worked for me tho so I’m back at point zero.
Right now I’m kinda skeptical about all of these things.

My goal is also to learn how to connect Magick and Science as well. :slight_smile:

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