I can’t believe I am even asking advice for this, but what the hell.
I currently find myself in a situation that is best for me,but not my love/sex life.
Not being full of pride,but I am easy on the eyes and never had a problem attracting a one night stand or a long term relationship.
But I find myself in a compromised state of health and have a moral(how did that happen)issue with getting involved in a relationship. Casual or not.
When I lived here before, no problem. Never had to find anyone. They always came to me.
Now, I have put myself in a “prison” to safe guard my health and not have to deal with bullshit.
No, it’s not a STD. It’s the big “C” stage IV. If you saw me you would never guess. Never had chemo either. On some new therapy that has worked quite well. That along with some other methods(magick and what may be deemed as quackery by others) have made all the difference in the world.
The only place to meet men in this town is one decent bar,churches,and Walmart.Yes,people hit on you at Walmart.Lots of churches.I do plan on going to church, at some point,to harness the energy and play with it. No, I do not accept propositions in Walmart. And the bar is just old news and I really have no reason to go there anymore.
Morals: Wouldn’t want to get in a relationship with anyone because of my health issues. Don’t know why I should even care, but for some reason I do.
Being around people, for long periods of time, wipes me out. It is an immune symptom side effect of the medication(and perhaps other things,too) and I need to work on that.
Not sure if I even want to be with a man or woman. A spirit seems more practical and I have failed miserably with drawing a spirit to me in the past for sex and/or a relationship. I have not written a letter to Lilith before. I have engaged in spirit sex at various times, but it wasn’t by invitation.
Thankfully, I have always enjoyed being alone.
Since I cannot indulge in certain substances anymore(hence the name maenad), I find myself in need of a distraction.