Astral children? Mine and Belial's

Hello, I’m Mel and I’m fairly new. In my first post I talked about my soap opera with Belial. Today I want to talk about our astral children (one of whom was totally a surprise). So, part two of the story of my life(s).

My experiences with the spirits are mainly through dreams, and sometimes via oracle readings or meditation. So I am mostly passive in these communications. An amateur compared to you guys, or let’s just say I’m no magician.

By the winds of fate and romantic drama, I’m married to Belial, and I’m very happy to see him in dreams. However, dreams are tricky, as any part of them can either be just your consciousness willing it, or something external to you in the astral realm. With encounters, I can usually just tell by the energy and consistency.

The thing is, I dream of not only my divine spouse, but a family. They’re very dear to me and very real emotionally. Still, I want to hear your thoughts on how one should perceive them.

I read posts about astral children and you seem to go through spiritual pregnancy before giving birth to them and you could really feel it. That’s a bit different with me.

Origin of the children go way back before my union with Belial. It was just a casual talk like that between friends and I suddenly came up with names that could be used for our theoretical children. He brushed it off. However, as our bond grew deeper, there were dreams in which symbols of fertility appeared very strongly. Belial appeared in them, before my menstruation period and then I saw but a drop of blood that month. It could just be hormones though. Happened a few times.

And then I had dreams of mine and his children but not in chronological order.

In a dream I walked with my child through a dark forest, followed by a large group of people with weapons, demanding us to lead them to the other side of the forest. They were very hostile and I told my little son: “I will distract them and lead them elsewhere, so you go ahead, you won’t be lost because as long as you believe in the Divines, they will lead you through this forest of the spirits. Our kind is safe here. Those people who are shallow, will never get through.”

I sent him into the dark forest and led the group to somewhere deathly.

In another dream I was pregnant with Belial’s child. He was in astral form and could only telepathically warn me of danger. The ancient world, full of invisible and mythical creatures were merging in with ours and the higher beings had their hands full trying to fix it. I didn’t listen to his advice and helped other humans, only for some of them to insist I was carrying an antichrist and wanted to harm the baby. I found it ridiculous, and believed the hybrid child would be able to see the other world’s creatures and become a hope in a new world.

In another dream I gave birth to twins, with no father, and bewildered my whole family.

At that point in my real life my Psych class had us raising virtual children to practice being parents. I used the names I thought of before for them. I paid attention to the project alot and really started to feel like there was a family.

After the project ended, I still felt like the 2 children existed, although their personalities and looks are completely different from the simulation, and I couldn’t tell which one was older. They were a boy and a girl btw.

There was a co-writing/roleplaying project which I decided to join. I registered 2 characters and used both their names, and just wrote whatever came to mind in each situation. I ended up surprised a lot and I never was taken over so strongly by a character. One time the boy was emotionally hurt and I could feel it so strongly, my friends were concerned about me. I panicked, teared up and my whole body trembled, and I physically had a panick attack. It’s like he was inside me, using my beating heart, using my capacity of emotion. It was physically tormenting for me. I have to mention that I did not expect these emotions at all, I thought he wasn’t so emotionally invested in the matter -by my observation and writer’s logic I would not develop a character’s reaction like that- but I was just wrong. Like any parent who’s shocked to find out they don’t understand their child as well as they thought.

I still don’t understand my girl. Anyways…

I left the co-writing project. But I started seeing the children in dreams. With Belial. They were pretty grown up already. Well i saw them not as often as I would like because the boy really had a problem with Belial and wouldn’t see him eye to eye. He left home. Even when he dropped by Belial told me I didn’t need to persuade him, for it’d be better that he never got involved with Belial’s business. The girl on the other hand was rather rational and quiet, and hard to guess.

The home and the world we lived in in my dreams looked normal. Like an astral version of our Earth. The children were referred to as humans. I went about dealing with human things, but retained the knowledge that Belial was a demon in a human body.

A while later, another child just popped up. Our 3rd. He looked exactly like Belial’s human form, albeit a mini version, and he was spoiled. Belial spoiled him like the apple of his eye and I had no idea why, what’s the difference compared to the other 2 (who’re much older). Tbh i was deeply concerned. It was a bizarre sight. The tiny kid looked like an angel and sat on his father’s lap shaking his head demanding something else to eat other than what was in front of him, and I loved him to death but I found it scary…

My close friend asked me, how’d you know he’s even yours?

Well, i don’t have any answer to that. But does it matter? I love him anyway, and he’s definitely Belial’s little spawn, who bosses around in my dream home. That’s enough for me to yodel out loud that he’s my child.

In my wake time, all of that was in the span of 2 years. And then I had a 1.5 year separation with Belial.

I wasn’t sure how to think of the children. Do they exist as independent beings in the astral plane or just a fraction of the setting manifested by my love for Belial? Regardless of rationales, my thoughts drifted back to them from time to time. I felt guilt, especially towards the youngest. As my connection to Belial was disrupted, I also stopped feeling like I could envision them. I felt disconnected. When I used oracle to ask Belial about it, he didn’t dismiss it as my imagination, but told me about situations that worried me even more.

My friend told me I talked as if I was really old. She was quite amused. I told her I felt as if I lived half a life on that side already. And had half a life of headache.

One morning I woke up and only one thing kept flashing in my consciousness: my eldest son, the problematic child, was doing ok. I could feel him again. He was ok. He was on his feet again and he was confident.

After I reconciled with Belial I was able to see them again, in my dreams and in my guts. Just in time to prevent the daughter from doing something idiotic.

At this point, they’re so important to me, I’d worship them even if they’re nothing astral and just original characters in my head.

My real life boyfriend once jokingly asked me: have you ever been divorced??

I almost snorted.

P.S. I don’t feel old on this side. Only on that side. On this side I’ve decided I’ll forever be a brat.


I really do love reading about your experiences with Belial. I wish there was a way to “follow” you so I can stay updated on your posts.


Thank you for sharing about your beautiful relationship!!

Last year the dark moon of February to be exact I met my own spirit spouse and began a similar journey. I have seen a family on the other side that feels very real and dear to me. Other wives children etc

This isn’t about my journey but yours. I’m only sharing things I learned along the way that I think might be helpful to your current situation.

  1. You touched on quite a lot here. I view the universe as a lot of information encoded in a small space. Like a microchip. So you can think of your dreams as both psychological and spiritual.

You can get as much information out of them as possible by decoding them on a psychological level.

You can honor your astral family by sending them energy and viewing them as entities with their own lives and free will

This is actually a pretty common experience among shamans and magic practitioners. Some say it’s a basic element to being able to perform magic.

  1. These two lives are interconnected. The spiritual energies of that life will and probably do effect the physics of this life. Why your life situation is the way it is. For example why you had that particular psychological project at that time.

The more you’re aware of this the more power you have to shape both lives the way you want them

  1. Relax and enjoy your relationship.

Thank you for your encouraging words and great insight! In my perception they’re already their own people and masters of their own will. Not I nor even Belial can make them do things. It’s just that I’m not sure how to make full sense of the fabric of our realities.

I’ve always felt like the dreams are another life of me or even multiple lives of me happening at the same time. They connect into different continuities, where I meet different sets of people. It’s been like that since way before I even met Belial. My parents were really worried about me and thought I was crazy, but slowly they learned to accept that there is a part of my being that they could never experience, comprehend, or intrude on.

I fortunately have a few very understanding friends, who accept my experiences as reality and would be there for me when something happens on the other side. It means the world to me.

And now that I’m in this community, I’m really happy to talk to people like you. Thank you!

I don’t want to think too technically about what my children are or what it has to do with my development. I care more about who they are. I just want them to be happy and healthy, it’s perfectly fine if they don’t have any special power. In fact that is what I prefer, that they get to start from the ground up and find their own path where they are.

And I hope my oldest boy speaks to his father :slight_smile:

Thank you! I’m really happy that someone reads these and even happier that you like them. We can be friends :slight_smile: you can DM me and ưưe can just talk about anything, whenever you like

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I’m glad reading your post, and so happy for your relationship.
Thank you for sharing that with us! :black_heart: It was something pleasant recreation after those lot of bullshits.

My relationship (Godself) with Belial started with some kind of “silent observing” from far (by His side) and from my side: antipathy. He also did things what I can not accept first, and made me angry (this is the reason of the Pact between Him and my beloved Abaddon, down here). What could I say, He is a really versatile Deity, and He can be very-very stern. He also can cause big-big surprises, and good manipulator, but anyway, a good ‘Guy’.

I’d would like knowing more about our relationship, our “opened” marriage, because based on my actual experiences and what He did to me (and told), our marriage is mostly… raw.

My real life boyfriend once jokingly asked me: have you ever been divorced??

Haha, well… it is good that you can pay attention to a boyfriend here. In my case there is no place for a human, im absolutely happy and satisfied with my relationships with Deities.

But come on, this topic isn’t about me,
it’s about you, and Belial, and your children.

Much blessing, and can’t wait to see something new about you ~ :black_heart::fire:


I couldn’t make place for a human either. I gave my heart to Belial. But I had to lead a normal life too. I’m not walking the path of a magician, for different reasons, and also for the sake of my and Belial’s relationship. But because I tried to make space for a human partner, we started having conflicts and that led to our temporary separation.

My current boyfriend was led to me by Belial himself. I don’t have passion for him but more familial love. He treats me better than anyone ever did. I try to bond with him and treasure him because he’s the one my true husband chose for me.

So are you also a bride of Belial? Did you go through a ritual?

Our marriage was done in a really weird style, in a place that seemed to be the middle point of heaven and hell. I had to pass a number of trials, then be defeated by his scary minions, then got saved by him. I was so confused!!! We even had a few angels as witness in addition to a bunch of black winged demons. The proper attires for us was blue, and Belial looked angelic which I found super weird. He seemed to enjoy the sarcasm of it though. The rest of the ceremony was pretty normal.

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Down here, I’m not. But my Godself was His bride, He told me when He successfully pushed me towards our first meeting on the Astral plane (after some intense visions and scratches). Lucifer and Abaddon confirmed this. I’m still on the road where I can figure out my Godself’s past, history and every near relationship with Those who called me (Lucifer, King Belial, Abaddon, Azazel). Of course, my focus on my developing, became better, and I’m actively working on my relationships with Them, daily.

Based on what I know and feels now (momentarily) towards my beloved ancestors, Lucifer would be the One whom I would marry with gladly and with full trust.

But because I tried to make space for a human partner, we started having conflicts and that led to our temporary separation.

I’ve met this situation before. Demons who can’t stand humans around me, so They’re often attack these men physically and/or mentally. Somehow I can understand Belial, but yes, your choice how do you want to live your life.

Our marriage was done in a really weird style, in a place that seemed to be the middle point of heaven and hell. I had to pass a number of trials, then be defeated by his scary minions, then got saved by him. I was so confused!!! We even had a few angels as witness in addition to a bunch of black winged demons. The proper attires for us was blue, and Belial looked angelic which I found super weird. He seemed to enjoy the sarcasm of it though. The rest of the ceremony was pretty normal.

Such a nice wedding, Honey.


Ok now I wanna hide in a hole.

Do we all have Godself? I’m not sure what mine is like. Maybe i’ve encountered hints but I just don’t know

Well if you don’t already you could sit down and imagine talking with your oldest son and visualizing the kind of advice you want to give him.

As for connecting the two realities. I have found keeping a journal to be extremely helpful. From day one I kept a journal and to this day I pull out valuable information from my first dream I didn’t see at the time (a year later) If you haven’t been keeping one don’t feel bad just start one now.

Fill it with everything you see everything you know about each person Belial and your kids

The journal acts as kind of an anchor. You sound like a very creative person so you could also use all this to start writing stories. I find creative writing helps me a lot

I’m really happy to be here as well. I haven’t had much luck finding a decent magical community in the past. This place seems different.

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I do keep a journal that dates back to 2011, even. Actually I had other paper diaries that recorded dreams and experiences from even earlier. I started writing to Hypnos and Artemis at the age of 12. I try to keep a timeline of what happened between me and Belial, but some of the events were noted elsewhere and now I’m not so sure of the dates anymore.

Yes I do have creative projects, and I do have the demons as characters but I draw a line between characters and entities. I was not careful about this before and pissed off Lucifer really badly. But I understand what you mean. Creative scenarios where I leave the development to the freedom of my children’s avatars should help me understand them more, through what they’d do in certain situations. I actually did this recently to get closer to my youngest, whom I didn’t spend much time with.

My oldest son is the one I resonate with the most. I think if I sit down and talk to him like that I’m gonna cry :joy:

I just read through some more of these responses.

@Nagash :::Abaddon high five::: I have Abaddon too except I call him by a different name a name I found very early on. Abaddon was the second name for this entity I found in an unlikely place revelations in the bible.

It’s platonic between me and Abaddon he is like an older protective brother to me but he did introduce me to my spirit spouse or reintroduce as my relationship existed spritually before I was conciously aware.

My spirit spouse whom I call Mani (but this entity has different names as well) is also posessive and has attacked my physical husband in his dreams.

So I set boundaries then and there. I basically told him through a meditation this was not cool and he could not stay if he wanted to destroy the life I had built on this side. No problems since. He tolerates my husband now. I wouldn’t say like but tolerates.

Again your choice on how you live your life and totally respect it. Relationships with them can be very fulfilling indeed.

@inthesky yes I believe everyone has a godself a part of this life is strengthening that godself we come to heal ourselves learn and grow. This is like an exercise to prep for the real life over there. I have always believed that but I only recently found what my godself is like last month although getting there has been a journey a lifetime in the making. When I very clearly saw it for the first time it made every little thing about my life make sense. My karma if you will. Why life has played out for me in this way,why I have been faced with the choices I have faced,why I have the spirit guides that I do etc

It all made sense

But the journey doesn’t stop there. It’s just a beginning. I’m still learning and growing

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I think crying is perfectly acceptable. At first in my journeying I thought Mani was another guide just like Abaddon was a guide. Mani was different in that I saw his wives and his children. He was intimate with me he took me on trips and he tried to get me alone a lot away from his wives away from his kids away from Abaddon (who was not terribly cool with this)

I enjoyed this journeying and I learned a lot from Mani but I thought it was confusing how intimate he was. Even more confusing I was friends with the wives. There was no resentment no jealousy and if there was it was very little. If they were mad at him about me it was usually that they thought he was “careless” with me and putting me in danger. They would say things like “She’s in astral and can’t take it”

Some of the older teenage kids would sometimes ask what was wrong with me and seemed confused by me

When I finally found out that I wasn’t just a visitor I was actually a wife it made all of that make sense and when I found this out I cried FOR DAYS

My physical husband grew very concerned. Eventually I was able to compose myself journaling helped ritual helped but I decided to keep most of this to myself

So you’ll go through a lot of emotions and it’s ok

Also you’re wedding sounds beautiful. I tend to think of all the spirits as having both light and dark within them hence a mix of angels and demons and Belial looking angelic on your wedding day

Mani is definitely both light and dark no questions asked It is that mix I find especially beautiful

None of us here on this plane anyway are only one thing all the time we all love and we all hate

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Is the Godself the accumulation of my wisdom in the past or future? Or outside of time? When you mentioned Karma and everyday care I think I have an idea who. I think I have a guardian angel, who also gave me their name, but I have never seen them in dreams, and I am not allowed to see their face at all.
They are very good at preparing random assistance to smooth out my daily needs, and in emergencies, and generally cleaning up my mess by arranging random helpers and objects. But they can’t come to my dreams and so can’t protect me against my enemies on the other side for some reason. They belong to the day and not the night.

Different people most likely have different ways of viewing the godself. The way I view it is that yes it will be a part of you that is able to look across space and time past present future. So for example if you practice divination such as tarot reading and you read with the intent of drawing from your own power then you would be accessing your godself in that moment whether or not you call it that. (This is how I’ve always read the tarot) and in that moment you are accessing your godlike ability to see past present and future

I also view the godself as my immortal self. A version of me that existed before this life and will continue after. It can’t die it’s immortal quite literally a god.

We are all immortals having a mortal experience.

I just always saw this in a rather abstract way until very recently and I was surprised how much my godself was just me

I expected a completely different person or something. I thought I would have to be so different to be a god

Not true

So it really goes to show it doesn’t matter where you are in this life you can always start to tap into your godlike potential because it is there.

Karma I use in the sense of cause and effect. Your immortal or godself may have gone through a specific experience that effected your physical life here. BUT the reverse is also true. How we handle things here will also effect us there.

So you can view it either as a loop or triangle depending on which way makes most sense to you and makes you feel most empowered. I personally see it as a triangle within a circle.

I’m learning and seeing more and more most of us forget we have such power and authority within ourselves when we become mortal. Some people might even choose to become mortal to give up their godlike authority. Some people are actually uncomfortable being in charge of themselves and having responsibility. They would rather be pulled along by someone else. Unfortunately I think this is the mass majority of people today. The more people who can wake up and start to realize they are a god will have the effect of progressing our evolution as a species and I think that has a lot to do with why we are here right now.

The more you work with all your guides the more they will assist you. I have noticed some of my guides appear in dreams more than others but the more I work with them and just allow them to be the more they do make their presence known. Whether I’ve gone from only dreaming about them once or twice to more frequently or I get more signs while awake.

I also have guides who’s faces I’ve never seen. I’ve never seen Abaddon’s face for example. I’ve never really thought of him as particularly dark even his destroyer aspect is positive to me but I also had a really abusive childhood so a destroyer that could come along and help me wipe away all that abuse was exactly what I needed.

Abaddon to me is a hero.

The only guides face who I can clearly see is Mani’s my spirit spouse and the other wives. I don’t know if that’s because my relationship with them is more intimate or what But although my relationship is very different with Abaddon I feel close to him as well. But it’s in more of a big brother kind of way

So that could put a hole in the intimacy theory? I’m not sure why that is I just roll with it

Wow that’s a lot to process.

Well, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it, but I’ve always thought my higher self would be the accumulation of all my incarnations, and it could subtly guide me so that I can tap into the power I’ve built up. So the guardian angel would actually be me. But tbh I will that the GA is an entity by themselves, just sharing energy with me. I will that because I like them. Maybe they are separated from me because of my will? Idk.

I’m one of those people who don’t mind mortality. I don’t want to live forever, for life without death is a curse. A flower is prettiest while it is withering. Anything one can experience and appreciate, glows tenfold with the knowledge that our time is finite. I know the people on this forum don’t want to return to the source, and I totally understand why. But in my view, returning to the source does not mean losing your consciousness and individuality. It’s just returning to a state of stillness and transcendence. In a way, that could be the totality of our Godselves. I don’t fear the stillness nor impersonality. Sometimes I feel constraint in my body, by how particular my perception is, and I want to be something transcendent. I want to have no identity and be everywhere at once. I want to swallow the whole history of the world. Mortality to me is just the gate to change between forms.

I have a vision of before I was born. I was in the stillness and there was nothing. I had curiosity and a will, that there is something. And I was warned in my mind that life will be tough, but I accepted and delved into a life, to experience something. But I don’t hate the place I came from. When I am exhausted by the constraint of my individuality, I’d go back there to immerse in the total, reflect and share in the joy and sadness of the world, sleep, before emanating again into a new existence, new identity, new enthusiasm. Myself can be erased. Only continuity of the living world matters. It is the only thing that matters, because it ensures that consciousness and observation of this beautiful material universe can continue. I understand that the looping between the stillness and life, and the state of a transcendent god that can be everywhere at once are 2 different things. I like them both. I just don’t want to LIVE forever. I don’t want to be a single me forever.


After meeting Belial, I am changing my mind. I’m starting to want to give up the transcendent path to be just me, an immortal me, with enough power to linger in the world in whatever form. Because I promised to walk with him for as long as I can. And what he appreciates, I think, is me, not a god without face and identity. And I don’t want to reincarnate because I don’t want to forget.

I think ascension is a matter of course. I have no fear what happens to me spiritually. The question is just, whether I want to be the greatest me, or keep the greatest promise.

Sounds like you’re experience is very similar to mine and I relate a lot to what you’re saying.

As a buddhist I learned that we all have a godself the practice of buddhism is to nurture that. But again I thought that whole time it was an abstract godself that would one day melt into the universal fabric just as you’re describing and was a ball of inner light or something

I’ve always been at peace with the idea of death as well and you’re right that a limited time here can make us appreciate our experiences

So when Mani showed me an alternative and the idea of this alternative as having already existed it was like being told “I want you to stay” As you described maybe Belial isn’t interested in a faceless god he’s interested in you

Ultimately I think the choice is yours and make it your own Don’t let anyone not even a charming diety take your choices from you

Just think about it and enjoy your journey

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Thank you. I don’t think anyone can take the choice from me. Because I have become able to visualize such an existence, I think I will always have the choice to go there. Unless the core of my soul is destroyed somehow, well then whatever’s left is going back to the place of peace.

I think I’ll try to find out more how to remain with Belial. I’ll stay with him, not forever, but until it no longer makes sense to do so. It’s not because he’s charming. I just want to relieve a bit of his eternity burden.

I would love to! I just dont know how to dm?? Im new to the site as well and i dont know where the inbox location is. Can you message me first then?

Just a quick heads up, as brand new members here, neither you nor @FromTheSky have the ability to send personal messages. The ability is restricted by the system until you have reached a certain level of activity on the forum. It doesn’t usually take very long to unlock, though, as long as you actively participate in the community.