For the last few years I’ve been drawn to Asmodeus, It has been a rough ride because most of what I find is video game nonsense. Even AI tells me that what I’ve read and learned isn’t real. I also end up talking with people who say they know Asmodeus and I get excited, but after a while of talking with them I find that it is just a fetish thing. I have felt for years that something is blocking my sexual energy. It is like there is none for weeks or months then Its like bam, Then after a day or two it is over. Here recently after trying to pray or converse with Asmodeus (which the information I find on how to do this is kind of disorganized) I’ll have the best solo sex but then after a day maybe two the feelings fade and I’m often left feeling I’ve done something wrong. The craziest thing is I don’t know what. Someone once thought there was a curse on me. The things is who would do that and is it possible I’m “blocking” myself some how? Yeah as you can tell I’m really not good at this or really understanding most of it. It is like Asmodeus is there in dreams and a fantasy world but I’m trying to figure out how to influence the world around me. I’ve seen the blogs of how they ask Asmodeus and suddenly they are having sex with an old flame and I feel I can’t break through. Just looking for advice.
Supplemental: Several years ago, I told Asmodeus that when I was ready, I would take vaccines for gay men. Those are the Hep b and so forth. Earlier this year I finally started them. Since then I’ve been feeling like I’m getting closer and then today I took my last one. I sat in my car afterwards (storm was coming) and I thought Asmodeus I guess I’m yours. At that moment a burst of light hit near my car with an massive blast of thunder. So I’m wondering if this was him or god? I know I think too much and that is probably my biggest problem.