For the last few years I’ve been drawn to Asmodeus, It has been a rough ride because most of what I find is video game nonsense. Even AI tells me that what I’ve read and learned isn’t real. I also end up talking with people who say they know Asmodeus and I get excited, but after a while of talking with them I find that it is just a fetish thing. I have felt for years that something is blocking my sexual energy. It is like there is none for weeks or months then Its like bam, Then after a day or two it is over. Here recently after trying to pray or converse with Asmodeus (which the information I find on how to do this is kind of disorganized) I’ll have the best solo sex but then after a day maybe two the feelings fade and I’m often left feeling I’ve done something wrong. The craziest thing is I don’t know what. Someone once thought there was a curse on me. The things is who would do that and is it possible I’m “blocking” myself some how? Yeah as you can tell I’m really not good at this or really understanding most of it. It is like Asmodeus is there in dreams and a fantasy world but I’m trying to figure out how to influence the world around me. I’ve seen the blogs of how they ask Asmodeus and suddenly they are having sex with an old flame and I feel I can’t break through. Just looking for advice.
Supplemental: Several years ago, I told Asmodeus that when I was ready, I would take vaccines for gay men. Those are the Hep b and so forth. Earlier this year I finally started them. Since then I’ve been feeling like I’m getting closer and then today I took my last one. I sat in my car afterwards (storm was coming) and I thought Asmodeus I guess I’m yours. At that moment a burst of light hit near my car with an massive blast of thunder. So I’m wondering if this was him or god? I know I think too much and that is probably my biggest problem.
For the last few years I’ve been drawn to Asmodeus, It has been a rough ride because most of what I find is video game nonsense. Even AI tells me that what I’ve read and learned isn’t real. I also end up talking with people who say they know Asmodeus and I get excited, but after a while of talking with them I find that it is just a fetish thing. I have felt for years that something is blocking my sexual energy. It is like there is none for weeks or months then Its like bam, Then after a day or two it is over. Here recently after trying to pray or converse with Asmodeus (which the information I find on how to do this is kind of disorganized) I’ll have the best solo sex but then after a day maybe two the feelings fade and I’m often left feeling I’ve done something wrong. The craziest thing is I don’t know what. Someone once thought there was a curse on me. The things is who would do that and is it possible I’m “blocking” myself some how? Yeah as you can tell I’m really not good at this or really understanding most of it. It is like Asmodeus is there in dreams and a fantasy world but I’m trying to figure out how to influence the world around me. I’ve seen the blogs of how they ask Asmodeus and suddenly they are having sex with an old flame and I feel I can’t break through. Just looking for advice.
Supplemental: Several years ago, I told Asmodeus that when I was ready, I would take vaccines for gay men. Those are the Hep b and so forth. Earlier this year I finally started them. Since then I’ve been feeling like I’m getting closer and then today I took my last one. I sat in my car afterwards (storm was coming) and I thought Asmodeus I guess I’m yours. At that moment a burst of light hit near my car with an massive blast of thunder. So I’m wondering if this was him or god? I know I think too much and that is probably my biggest problem.
AI is useless for magick: it’s training is the entire internet and most of that is fiction and games. Read actual grimoires.
Asmoday is from the grimoure the Ars Goetia, of which there are many good versions and spin off grimoires. I suggest you get a copy of one of those. I like Corwin Hargrove’s Goetia Pathworking as very beginner freindly. If you use the search for “book recommendations collection” you’ll find a thread that links to a few of this forums pists about good books.
I would say Asmoday is more about relationships. It sings to me like you need an entity that has the offices of healing. Asmoday is not so much a healer as a teacher and bringer of opportunity.
Common healing entities are Marbas, Raphael, Ebuhuel (from the Angels of Omnipotence book).
It’s probably just thunder being thunder, but if you felt confused by it, take it and run with it.
Overall it sounds like you don’t have your health up to spec. I would suggest a healing entity and starting to get educated on your own health. Get a vitamin and mineral and common biomarkers from having your bloodwork done to check for bssics like vitamin deficiencies, You can oreder these cheap yourself now from places like labcorp. Check testosterone levels and stress hormones, check your sleep and nutrition - there’s very common issues you can get just with these that inhibit libido. E.g., adrenal fatigue.
When you’re not well and stressed, the body tends to drop libido first as it assumes that means the environment must be bad for raising babies, and diverts resources to survival instead.
As mages, the foundation of developing our systems towards ascension is a strong and healthy body. A strong body leads to a strong mind. (And also more sex) You don’t have to bench 400 but your hormones drive your desires as much as your genes and nurture do, so any magickal work there needs to be supported by taking care of the physical first.
[quote=“Mulberry, post:2, topic:198499”]
I want to thank you for the book suggestion “Corwin Hargrove’s Goetia Pathworking” One of the interesting things is in the list of Demons what they have influence over. Asmodeus, for example in other writings is always about lust, gay men, possession etc. In this book what Asmodeus influences was completely different. I often wonder how much influence the Christian church as on the perceptions of these spirits and what they do and look like. Thanks again.
Oh a TON. That florid description of Asmoday comes from the Malficus Malficarum - the Hammer of Witches used as propaganda against herbalists, not even actual occultists.
Before that he was a “demon of revenge”. It’s my personal opinion/UPG that he was never “hostile” to Sarah, who was repeatedly sold to “suitors” like chattel and was protecting her from being raped and used by arranged marriage after arranged marriage. Who really thinks she was into 7 different guys in a row, given she was a higher up? - people who think far too much of their importance are infamous for political arrangements and using marriage to cement alliances, and the couple get no say in the matter. It’s actually fear driven tribal behavior and exceedingly primitive, imo.
Asmoday and I didn’t get along for a while as I’m Avoidant Attachment personality type, and he seemed to think that was bad. Maybe he’s right but it’s not a choice it’s a scar, and he gets that now. We work together on all sorts of things mainly to do with motivation and winning at work.