A Fool And His Many Errands!

TheFoolsErrand · August 17, 2019, 9:00pm

Let’s have a tarot update of where things are…

All-in-all not a bad spread.

Nature of my query - Page of Pentacles
Obstacles - World (reversed)
Long term past trend - 9 of pentacles
Future trend - The Fool!
Immediate past - Hanged Man (reversed)
Immediate future - 2 of pentacles
Self/Attitude - 4 of pentacles (reversed)
Others see you - 5 of pentacles (reversed)
Hopes and Fears - Knight of Swords (reversed)
Outcome - 3 of cups (reversed)

It’s getting late so I won’t do a number on this just a bare outline.

Basically going in a new direction from a position of comfort (i.e. no need to change as things are comfortable as they are). There’s lots of enthusiasm and energy but needs to be be curbed/disciplined otherwise carelessness and exhaustion from overdoing things can set in.

Yup not arguing with the cards there. I can go over the top sometimes and easily burn out and then give. Not this time!

So…

TheFoolsErrand · August 19, 2019, 9:24pm

OK tonight is Apormanos.

He has 2 skills/functions

To increase chance meetings that lead to sexual and emotional attraction
To discover the depths of your sexuality.

So which one did I choose? No.1 I hear you cry? Wrong! The 2nd one!

I need to keep focused on my path and have a wife so really don’t want any high drama with other women thank you very much.

At my age and after ,many years of introspection, I like to think that I know everything about the (sordid & corrupt ) depths of sexuality. But who knows? I may have a hidden passion for being flogged by a transgender midget from Turkestan so let’s see if Apormanos can shed any light on the subject.

Apormanos appeared as muscular man with a very square jaw and by the looks of it blonde hair. He wore a hooded robe which alternated between the colours or read and purple. I couldn’t see his eyes for some reason. We had short conversation -

Me: Aporamnos I wish to shed light on all parts of my sexuality.
A: You may learn of things that you might not like ()
Me: Be that as it may I need to know myself!
A: It will be done.

So there we are - just looking in the book - one more to go!

TheFoolsErrand · August 21, 2019, 8:39pm

So tonight was Ilekal “learn to perceive when people are telling the truth” or to put it another way you know when the lie to you.

I’ve left Ilekal to last as I had to go through Lucifer, Oriens, Paymon, Ariton and Amaymon so obviously he’s a popular guy

The last pathworking for him was I was on a black rock at the edge of a large waterfall. He appeared out of the water before the waterfall an old knight in armour, his hand resting on the pommel of his sword which was facing down. He had a long beard and looked pretty old if not ancient to me.

Me: I wish to know when people are lying to me and if possible for what reason.
Him: And would you hurt those if you had such knowledge?
Me: The small white lies no, but those lies that could hurt or destroy my life then yes.

He seemed satisfied with this answer and with a small nod of his head indicated that our interaction was over. Presumably he doesn’t part with this gift lightly!

So that’s it for now for Lucifer and his Hidden Demons, there a few more from the book to use but the time is not right at the moment.

So have I felt any changes? No not at the moment but then it is early days and I gave no specific dates for these gifts. Some of are of a rather nebulous nature, do I look any younger? Who knows. Also I have to be careful about lusting for results. I’ll update if there are any changes however subtle.

What I can tell you is that my invoking is improving so if nothing else I’m happy with that.

So what’s next you may ask? We’ll let’s see…

I AM THE FOOL AND I HAVE MANY ERRANDS!

TheFoolsErrand · September 2, 2019, 8:44pm

UGH! Another mini heatwave plus an unexpected family funeral to attend to.

The nights are drawing in now so at some point it’s back to practising the scrying…

In the meantime back to the books! So I’m going to do 2 books.

The first is

This is even easier than the Lucifer and the Hidden Demons. You just go through Raziel and then to the angel with the same type of visualisations.

The second is

This is different as you’re required to gaze into a particular sigil for a specific purpose. This will be good practice for the more full on workings to come in the future.

In the meantime as the that most famous of philosophers Britney Spears would say…

TheFoolsErrand · September 7, 2019, 7:47pm

Annoyingly I’ve let the mundane world distract me once again and I’ve no real excuse for it.

To be honest at the moment I think I lack the faith and inner conviction of a true believer (or obsessive!) Talking to my brother the other night and we both agreed that we are quite envious of those who’s lives totally revolve around their interests/hobbies such a following their favourite sports team. In particular I’m really envious of those people earning a living out their interest which is not such much a job as a vocation for them.

I’m at the age where retirement is beginning to peek over the horizon in my thoughts. Retirement can be a big premature killer for men if they are not prepared for it. My preparation is the occult as I want this to be my totally consuming interest: my magnum opus if you will. I have no intention of being as the (misquoted) saying goes “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them”. I have my song but will I sing it? Definitely not if I don’t put the regular grunt work in!

So back to the coalface then…

So tonight Raziels Words of Power book. I contacted Raziel only he/she “guides you and connects you to other spirits”.

Given that I forgot some of the conversations I had with the previous demons, I’ve found my digital voice recorder and microphone so nothing would be missed. In the event this wasn’t needed. Raziel appeared as a large warm pink energy orb (about the size of a human). However the most striking part was the energy the angel gave off. It was a gently uplifting but incredibly soothing strong energy. The working only took a few minutes and Raziel stayed mute but for the next 15 minutes after I blissfully bathed in a warm fuzzy vibe that nearly sent me to sleep.

Intrigued, I may go back to Raziel next time and go onto another angel and see what happens there.

We shall see…

TheFoolsErrand · September 9, 2019, 9:05pm

OK tonight is Damabiah “Connects you to your psychic gifts”.

Nothing too much to report here. Raziel came and went rather quickly without the lovely energy from last time.

Damabiah appeared as a yellow orb but with a faint outline of an angelic being inside (or at least my version of an angel). I said my piece and that was it. No conversation or anything

TheFoolsErrand · September 30, 2019, 1:41pm

Wow! It’s been 3 weeks but not without incident.

3 weeks ago I had a week off work by myself. My wife was to meant to take it off as well and we we’re going to go away for a short break but her work got in the way.

Not a problem as I have been looking after my father for the last 5 years until he died recently a large backlog of jobs and built up that needed to be done in the garden, the house and loads of magic as well. So enough to be done to keep me pleasantly occupied for the whole week.

My plan was to do the garden in the mornings and then some small jobs around the house or do some errands in the afternoon.

That was the plan anyway.

I first 2 days went to plan but by the 3rd morning I felt incredibly tired and but also relaxed and slightly euphoric (!). Every time I sat down I ended not moving lost in my own thoughts with time literally flying by. By the end of the 5th I felt this incredible surge of power and felt that anything was in my grasp and that all I had to do was just to focus and reach out and it was mine. For example, if I wanted to learn a new language then I would learn it no time.

There were wonderfully powerful feelings and it felt as if the whole world was mine for the taking.

Alas as soon as I went back to work it all faded away…

So the moral of the tale is as Timothy Leary would say, “tune in, turn on and drop out”. I hardly looked at my laptop that week and the amount to tv was minimal as it it seemed so intrusive.

Unfortunately I’m a keyboard jockey by trade staring at the screen for 7 hrs a day and then going home and doing again for another couple of hours (). For the last fortnight I’ve tried to keep the myriad (and petty) distractions of big tech to a minimum. I have felt the sensations come back slightly as if on a threshold but obviously I need more peace and quiet which won’t happen until my next week off.

So interesting times and plenty to think about…

TheFoolsErrand · December 10, 2019, 10:48pm

It’s been a while!

Shortly after the last post I had a stubborn cold that just wouldn’t leave for a couple of weeks. After that my magical batteries were flat and needed recharging.

So here we are! Fully recharged albeit going into the Xmas festivites season so gonna have to be a bit more patience…

It wasn’t all doom and gloom though. Whilst waiting to get over my cold it got me thinking about my bucket list. As I’m getting older bucket list are now coming to the fore especially since my father died and that’s the end of my familial duties to a large extent.

One on my bucket list is taking DMT aka the god molecule. Much research on the 'tube suggests you can extract it yourself. The fact that it’s illegal matters not to me these days, so if the cap fits wear it…

This lead onto magic mushrooms (which are also illegal) and finally Salvia which is not illegal. So I plucked up the (dutch courage) and ordered some 5x potent sage from a Dutch (where else? ) site. A week or so later it duly arrived.

One evening I sat down with a pipe and took the plunge. Bear in mind this is my first trip ever! Salvia is intense… . I nearly panicked at first as my arms turned to rubber but I recovered and plunged into a 5 minute rollercoaster ride into cartoon land

Salvia is not to be messed with and given the utmost respect. A quite place where you can’t be disturbed whilst in the right frame of mind.

DO NOT DO THIS

That’s why teenagers were put on this Earth.

After a couple more trips I decided to purchase a 'shroom kit. Golden teacher to be exact.

Again looking around the web I decided that if I’m going to do this I’ll do it right. So I bought a thermostatically controlled propagator. Not cheap as I could only find one manufacturer! The kit I bought required an optimal temperature of 24C and relative humidty of over 90%. Luckily the money was well spent as the first flush was 250g and the 2nd 100g (should have taken photos!) . I’m trying for a 3rd flush and that should be it.

The 1st flush have dried out and I’ve blended into powder. Last night was spent shovelling into capsules. So what to do next? Micro dose over the next 6 weeks or so or go for a big trip? Decisions, decisions

TheFoolsErrand · December 19, 2019, 10:01pm

I’ve offically shroomed. I’m on leave this week so on Tuesday I decided to take the plunge and took 2 grams worth. And…waited and waited… and nothing happened. So after another few hours I took another 3 grams… and nothing happened.

By now it was 9pm and I gave up mistified that I was 'shroom proof. I sat down and closed my eyes and there in all it’s CGI glory, was the fractal weirdness of the 'shroom universe. Bizarre, open my eyes and you wouldn’t be able to tell I was tripping balls. I was expecting strong visuals which is what confused me but perhaps that’s just me. God knows how long the I had been properly tripping before I closed my eyes

Anyway by 10pm I was chilled whilst slightly euphoric and this lasted for a couple of hours and very nice it was as well! In the end I needed to go to bed but… the minute I closed my eyes there was the CGI fest. All well and good but I now wanted to sleep. But sleep wasn’t to come until half three ish…

So the moral of this tale is never expect a trip on the 'shrooms to be the same as Salvia. You really need a good part of the day to be put aside to really appreciate them. I think I had the CGI’s for at least 6 hours! Next time will be a nice summer’s day sitting in the garden or down the local the wood.

In the meantime I’ll microdose and see which rabbit hole I disappear down

New Years resolutions - DMT and and amp up the Salvia, perhaps up to 20x potent.

TheFoolsErrand · January 11, 2020, 10:34pm

I’m bit frustrated at the moment as I can’t do much occult stuff as I would like. Work has raised it’s ugly head insofar as my boss has left I need to cover for him for the until the new boss starts in 6 weeks time. Even then for the the next month or so thereafter I’ll need to “baby sit” the new boss.

Still not all bad as I’ll get a nice “loyalty” bonus for just turning up each day plus paid overtime i.e. one of the rare times in my working life I’ve got management by the balls

Due to to the unpredictable nature of my workload I’ve decided to concentrate on a couple of areas and nothing else and keep grinding away.

So first of all I’ve been microdosing the shrooms for the last couple of weeks. So far I’ve noticed that I’m not fazed by covering for my boss - no stress, just emotional and mental equanimity so thanks shrooms! This is good news as a good mate of mine who’s interested and has mild anxiety episodes so this maybe the perfect medicine for him

On top of my daily 30 min meditation I’ve also been doing @C.Kendall “the chant of the flames of the godhood”. Basically you imagine a black/crimson/yellow/orange flame inside getting larger when you chant the mantra.

The jury is still out on this one. It’s a good visualisation exercise but I’ve haven’t noticed any changes yet. I shall carry on for another month or 2 and see where we go.

Lastly but by no means lastly - I’ve also been doing @AdamThoth 3 sun meditation.

Gotta say this has impressed me. I don’t do the spiral staircase to reach the void. Mine’s some very old steps in a cave with ancient symbols/sigils on the wall/ceiling which I can’t discern. The steps lead down a cave pool which is pitch back. For the last couple of days when I step into that my whole self disappears and it’s just blank. Each day the sensation is getting more intense and longer.

Is this ego death? No quite yet as I can still feel my own physical body. Today I thought I’ll do it for 10mins before lunch and I “resurfaced” 40 mins later! It wasn’t totally blank for all that time as my mind is still not that disciplined but I was shocked by the total loss of time. It also helps to wear an eye mask and ear baffles (the ones used by road workers) to block out alll distractions (including my wife ).

So there we are, now back to YouTube as I need to see how I extract DMT form 250g of mimosa powder…

TheFoolsErrand · January 28, 2020, 10:58pm

Exhausting times at work, I’m getting too old to do 2 jobs at once. I’m going back to the old days of all work and just existing outside of it. That’s not a life but merely a zombie existance as far as I 'm concerned. Still only a few week to go hopefully and then hand over to new younger boss with my blessings! It’s got me thinking of bring my retirement date forward a lot. So much I want/need to do occult wise and just not the time.

I’m still chugging away at the 3 suns meditation. Now no longer at ego death but in the twilight zone between the Theta and Delta brainwave states. Theta is when you’re asleep and Delta is the deep unconscious sleep. It’s interesting to say the least as there is a fine line between actually falling asleep and being a deep meditative state. I crossed it today and I managed to end up with a fit of coughing. I think some saliva when down the wrong pipe

Saying that my normal meditiation practice has improved as I can now attain longer void states so bit by bit I winning the war with the monkey mind mafia

I’m still doing Conner Kendalls mantra/flame meditation. I can hold my visualisations a long longer with this then any others I’ve done so good stuff there.

On the subject of Mr Kendall and being the Fool I’ve decided to subsidise his Tunisia beach holiday er… sorry ritual in the desert

https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/t/change-your-life-jinn-binding-ritual-in-the-sahara-desert-most-intense-ritual-for-hire-i-will-probably-ever-perform/90435

So no pressure then Connner If this goes well that should give me an turbo boost on my path.

And lastly sitting in the side porch is a defrosting glass dish of, hopefully, DMT crystals…

TheFoolsErrand · February 22, 2020, 11:20pm

Well what a hellish couple of weeks at work and I’m exhausted.

New boss has been bottle fed, burped and potty trained so hopefully I can start getting my life back and move on occult wise.

Things have not been helped by Conner’s little beach holiday. I’ve have rituals done before on my behalf and if they’re of a dark nature then there will always be consequences. In this case a whole run of (albeit) minor bad luck that can’t be dismissed as coincidental.

Over the course of 6 days:-
The new outside door on our storage space was split in half in the gales we had. If I had locked it properly it wouldn’t have happened.
I broke a zip on a coat that made it unuseable.
My wife dropped a whole bottle of vegetable oil over the kitchen floor and it’s still sticky now!
She also managed to ruin her phone - a whole load of hand moisturiser leaked all over it in her bag.
Inattention of my part resulted in cocking up the smoking of the DMT so I only got a small hit.
Various face palm errors at work.
…And the insomnia, I always get that. Out with the hypnosis tapes and a week later I’m now back to normal.

It’s no all doom and gloom though. The 3 suns meditation comes on leaps and bounds. I can very easily lose myself for an hour easily. The monkey mind keeps poppping up but I’m pleased to see that in the vast primordial black soup that is my unconscious there doesn’t seem to be anything nasty lurking there… yet…

In a fortnights time I’ve got a week off by myself and boy am I going to chill out. I’ve managed to set up a bitcoin wallet (what a ball ache that was as well!) and on the darker corners of the web I’ve found some obliging purveyors of mind altering substances (assuming they’re not scammers). So I’m gonna stack up and go for it if I can.

I need mescaline (that’s the peyote cactus), LSD, and various members of the Tryptamine family.
I should be receiving soon 5meo-dmt. Not heard of that one? Try licking the back of one of these chaps

If it gets stressed it releases a toxin that can kill you needless to say it’s a lot safer to have the laboratory version

I’ve also on impulse ordered some more 'shroom kits. Not the best of moves because if they produce as much as my last crop, I’ll have enough supplies to last for the next 2 years

The whole point of this disregard for law and order is not to escape my life because it’s so awful (it isn’t), or that I feel that I’m powerless to change things (I don’t). I’m just envious of those that have seen aliens, machine elves or journeyed to other realms and dimensions. If I can achieve that without blowing up my brain cells then I’ll be a happy bunny.

So depending on how this goes my next entry may be extremely interesting or…

TheFoolsErrand · March 14, 2020, 10:05pm

Over a thousand views!! Really?

So what’s been happening then since? Well national drug week has curtailed due to my wife having to work from home from wednesday due to the C-Virus fear porn.

However I did get the chance of Tuesday to have some home made shroom fun. This time I followed Terrence McKenna’s suggestion to be on your own, ingesting on an empty stomach and being in the dark. So at midday I knocked up a smoothie added 4g of the best home made Golden Teacher shredded mushroom and then carried on with my life waiting for the effects to kick in… which took about 10 mins. I crashed out on the settee and put my eye mask on.

It would be fair to say that the enxt 2 hours was a wonderful ride into the unknown, the unknowable, the bizarre and down right surreal where this reality blended into shroom world… The only thing that really stands out is that at one point I was looking up a hill and on top was a really huge red and white striped mushroom. All around the me was a whole army of smaller red and white shrooms going around the hill alternating clockwise and anticlockwise. The were all shouting “HAIL THE KING OF THE HILL” and I got caught up into it and starting shouting (in my my mind I think )
“ALL HAIL THE KING OF THE HILL”
“ALL HAIL THE KING IN THE HILL”
“ALL HAIL THE KING UNDER THE HILL”
In between the giggles. Surreal is not the word!

Between hours 2&3 I took off the eye mask and was trying to work out which reality I was in and which one I preferred when I opened my eyes. I made some dinner for myself (let’s be honest here a microwave special) and went to to the loo. These caused a great debate with myself as to whether I was real, the dinner was real or whether the loo actually existed All this was accompanied by numerous fits of the giggles.

Hours 3-4 I calmed down and got very philosophical and the hour after there was just a nice warm afterglow in my body.

So there you are ladies and gentleman, how to do a good trip. The only after affect was some insomnia that night with constant lucid dreams and very mentally tired the next day. I belatedly worked out that the shrooms really blew open my 3rd eye, luckily I have a spell to close it down.

On a more mundane note (well in comparison anyway!) this week have given the chance to catch up on some rest both physically and mentally and also to have a good think about the way forward. In particular getting back working those stack of books I started last year.

Time to get the magical mojo back and shove work down the ladder considerably. Hopefully more postings on the way…

lawclerk · March 14, 2020, 10:19pm

I have this book on Kindle, Lucifer and the Hidden Demons. Do you think the author has really contacted separate Deities or are all these listed spirits just masks for Lucifer AKA Beelzebub but with different tasks, the author lists many demons under paimon as well.

Heres an example: Corilon is pronounced as CORE-EE-LON. CORE as in CORE. EE as in SEE. LON as in LONG. First summon Lucifer. Then summon Beelzebub. Proceed to summon Corilon. The Pathworking of Corilon An emerald lake surrounded by mountains. The body of a dead snake, its eyes white. You stand at the edge of a fast and foaming river in the moonlight.

TheFoolsErrand · March 14, 2020, 10:26pm

Good question and at the moment I don’t know.

That’s why I need to plough ahead through most of the gallery of magic type books to get a handle on them and come up with my own conclusions.

lawclerk · March 14, 2020, 10:33pm

Have you had any success with the book and it’s workings, using his pathworking or mental imagining? Have you received any signs of success, visions or perhaps physical signs?

TheFoolsErrand · March 14, 2020, 10:52pm

Yes and no.

Borob - Create a veil over and object or place - tick - those that have seen the 3rd bedroom don’t hang around and look at my “collection” and comment on it.

Iloson - Skilled at listening - tick

Eberon - sense the future - tick

Sagarez - radiate sexual potency - cross - nothing!

Anamalon - arouse sexual thoughts in others - cross - nothing!

Dagulez - “to appear younger” - tick - people take 5 years off me.

Gramon - Dignity - pass - not sure on that one.

Buriub - influence through the calm power of your voice - I would say tick

Sumoron - discover gifts and abilities - noticed recently

Apormanos - depths of sexuality - cross

Ilekal - people telling the truth - tick

Damabiah - psychic gifts - tick - noticed recently

lawclerk · March 14, 2020, 10:56pm

What is the collection is this occult or something else?

TheFoolsErrand · March 14, 2020, 11:00pm

Yes, occult - I have tarot decks (70+!), books, occult objects, altars etc

I may reveal my temple one day…

lawclerk · March 14, 2020, 11:02pm

Nice, I feel a séance coming on lol…