A Book of Gates

[anon39079500]

As I wound down my working through the Shadownomicon, I was given the next task of working my way through the Book of Gates. It seems that time has come.

For reference materials, I will be using Josephine McCarthy’s Book of Gates : A Magical Translation. I’ve read through it once and am now going back through it as I work through it. I will not be doing this alone, as Ma’at offered (told me she was going) to be my guide.

I haven’t done a lot of research into Egyptology or similar and wasn’t told to study anything in particular for this. Any mistakes are my own (and I’m sure there will be some), when I can’t blame the translation.

[anon39079500]

06DEC20

I am being called by Ma’at to begin my descent into the Book of Gates. I read the book by Josephine McCarthy once and have started reading it again. More slowly this time, with the intent to work through it.

I’m outside, preparing for the ritual, and the damn bugs are dropping onto me from above. While they are beetles, this happens too frequently to be anything spiritually significant. It is definitely distracting and I hope it doesn’t break up the experience.

---

I projected myself into the scenario and came to a desert at night. It wasn’t cold as it normally feels at night. I took this to mean the temperature didn’t hold significance in this scenario. I did note that I noticed this and wonder if it will have significance in other scenarios.

Ma(‘at): “Good, you’re finally here.”. She motioned towards the spirits I saw in the area. I recognized them from the book as “as Gods” spirits guiding, other spirits serving, and other souls travelling. ”This will not be your fate (in the end).Come, we must begin walking.”

I noticed the night sky, “Shouldn’t this be daylight?” I had remembered the word “bright” right before asking and, for some reason, assumed it “should” be daylight out.

Ma: “This environment is a reflection of you.”

I wondered if that meant I was “dark as night”.

She shook her head and the impression came that it simply “was”. It wasn’t good or bad. Some people are lighter, some darker. “We must keep walking.” I didn’t know what the significance of walking was, outside of moving towards something.

We came to a river that I assumed was the Nile, but this was something I was being shown and we weren’t at the actual location. It was in daylight, while we were still in darkness. I was shown a picture of the first Gate. I could sense something guarding it, but the details were blurred. “We are not at the Gate yet. I wanted you to see it.”

I nodded and she stopped us. “Go write this part down. We will speak after.”

I’ve now written it down as best I can and she’s in my ritual area.

Me : “Thank you for guiding me.”

Ma : “ You wish to be a psychopomp, like her (Hecate)?”

Me : “I do, among other things.”

Ma : “Then you will earn it. Walk the Gates. Do the work.”

She turned to leave.

Me : “Please wait.”

Ma : “Ask your questions.”

Me : “My hesitation between projecting or a dreaming journey through this…? (I was drawn to both)”

Ma : “Part of your work will be done when you sleep, as the book states. I will try to help you remember your dreams, but you will not remember all. No matter how hard you try. You shouldn’t (remember all). It isn’t allowed at the time (of the dream, journey), but will trickle through (over time).”

Me : “How do you want paid for your help?”

Ma : “Have you not been singing to me? You’ve been singing to me for over six months because I asked you to and you knew it had (would have) meaning at some point. “

Me : “What should I do now? Prepare for Scene 1 again? Scene 2?”

Ma : “Read them both again. Until I call for you again. This is best done over time.”

She left.

---

Concerning the singing, it was an odd ask at the time. I had been working with her at the request of someone else to go after people that like children a little too much. Then, she showed up during my morning singing to those I honor. She “requested” I sing to her, too. I was going to deny it, as I had no reason to, but one of those I sing to nudged me to accept it. I wasn’t happy about it, to be honest, but felt it had some reason. This was in June, if I recall correctly.

[anon39079500]

Ma : How do you feel?

Me : Tired. Slept heavy, but not restfully (she slightly smiled)

Ma : Are you ready?

Me : Not yet. I don’t know that this is the place and time to do this sort of mental exercise. (I was at work at the time, but had a break between tasks).

I went for a quick walk on a straight path where I could zone out in trance and interact with Ma’at. I have a tendency to listen to ritual music at work to keep stress levels lower during key points. This was useful today.

---

I was in the same place as last night, seeing others there (fewer and I wasn’t traveling as deeply), with different purposes. Those traveling and those serving.

Ma : “Do you know why they serve?”

Me : “The serve to better themselves? To learn something they need to (that somehow is related to being done in this way).” I didn’t want to say they serve because they “must”. That didn’t seem right. “They serve to free themselves?”

Ma : “What did you ask me last night? (I remembered asking her how she wanted paid). It is similar. They are serving to learn and paying for that at the same time.”

Me : “I don’t understand how they’re learning, standing there, simply be of service, and progressing (without any interaction I could see).”

She smiled and I got the impression that they are learning through the environment, through the act of service, and there was another means I couldn’t see, but could sense. They were being taught, but not on a superficial level, as I was right now, with Ma’at.

Me : “Who’s teaching them?” She never answered the question, however I asked the question. It was for another time and I also got the impression that I wouldn’t fully understand it if she told me. She did say that this wasn’t the only means, but it was the means for this particular path. I realized as I reflected on this that this isn’t dissimilar to learning indirectly through invocation - invoking the spirit inside.

Me : “This isn’t the only iteration of this (pathworking).”

Ma : “No and you already knew this at different levels. First, you were told you’d cycle between the different paths you’ve started working and have worked. Then you read that those that become “Justified” in life also get tried again and re-learn or re-prove their learning when they move on past the physical. And you also understood that Adepthood is a long process, not an event.”

I already suspected that, just like the Shadownomicon, this is more of an initiatory work that will require deep diving once the groundwork has been laid. I consider this a benefit and, if being honest, almost a necessity for me. I make plenty of mistakes and there are too many layers requiring more knowledge than I currently possess. But I can also see that not all of it is weighted evenly and will skew towards purpose.

My walk, and the conversation, was done at this point. She did not come to me the rest of the day.

[Heiru777]

Just started my work with this book as well. Taking it slow at gate five currently

[anon39079500]

That’s awesome. Are you going to journal it?

[anon39079500]

There have been several smaller conversations only lasting a minute or two that I didn’t record. The themes of which were about service and serving. In both cases, I was under the impression that I was supposed to learn more about it by the pictorial examples she gave of those serving.

Today was a little different.

We started walking again and we came to a plant that looked similar to aloe. It was probably five feet wide and almost as tall as I was. For some reason, I felt the need to look at the plant.

I could hear her talking, but couldn’t remember what she said, almost like it was being wiped from my conscious mind as soon as it was understood.

I heard her pause and an iguana-like reptile came from within the plant. He tried to bite me, but instead of getting angry to obliterating it, I put my hand out and took away its desire to bite me.

We walked a little bit longer and then we came to the river again. I could see a boat and knew it was for me, but not yet. I was puzzled about why they pushed off from the bank as I got closer.

“You’re near the first gate.”

At this point, my wife slammed the front door downstairs, which broke me out of my trance. When I had taken care of the issue she was having, I was too awake and I knew I’d have to start all over again.

[anon39079500]

I was back at the aloe-like plant and I could see a path through the sand, noting it was more discolored than the rest. I couldn’t tell how well-worn the path was.

Ma’at was speaking to me and I was catching bits and pieces as the gate came into view. It looked like it was a mile off, from previous desert experience, but we were there in what seemed like a few seconds.

I could see a very large snake, a cobra or similar, that was large enough that it literally blocked the gate opening. I knew that even if it had presented as small, it would still block the gate.

“I wish to go through the first gate.” I felt it respond negatively, “Come back tomorrow”.

“I wish to go through the first gate.” Again, “Come back tomorrow”.

I was getting irritated and took a few steps forward. At this point, it struck me, pushing me back less than a step.

I got ready to take another step when Ma’at put her hand on my arm, “Come back tomorrow”.

“Why? I can push through this.” and I knew that I could and I would be allowed past it. But she was right, although I didn’t understand why. I nodded an agreement to her and did it again to the gate guardian.

Somewhere, I knew they were right.

It wasn’t until I was documenting all of this that I realized I should’ve re-enacted the situation as I did with the iguana-like reptile. I felt pretty foolish at this point, as I had let my curiosity and eagerness to move through the gate blind me to the lesson I had re-read the other day. They had even started me off at the same plant…

I could feel her amusement as I came to realize this. Rather than cover all of it up or try to dress it up as something else, I’m choosing to post this experience. Seems I could use another lesson or two in humility and temperance. I’m sure they won’t be the last.

[anon39079500]

I projected back to begin the process of walking through the first gate. I found myself back at the aloe-like plant and grinned at recognizing it.

Ma’at came beside me and we began walking. At first, this was in silence, which she broke, “Do you understand what happened yesterday?”

Me : “To an extent (I relayed what I said yesterday).” Ma’at nodded and we were at the gate.

The guardian came forward again. I sensed it was neutral this time.

“I wish to go through the gate.” No response or flicker of acknowledgement.

“I want to pass through the gate.”, more forcefully this time. Same response. I started to get irritated, when I thought of yesterday’s lessons and how well that worked out for me.

I held up my hand and removed any objections the guardian had. It moved aside.

I stepped up to the gate and noticed it hadn’t opened. I felt I could push it open, if I wanted to, but felt that that wasn’t the right way to go. I held up my hand and removed anything keeping me from going through the gate. It opened.

I walked through the gate and was overlooking some sort of rolling open space that led to the river I had seen in the past. The boat I had also seen was waiting down there, but I knew I wouldn’t be getting on it today.

My eyes were drawn to a small bird that was flying past me. The features were dull, the coloring some sort of brown. I understood that this was symbolic, from the lack of features and that there were no other birds anywhere else to be seen. For some reason, the thought of it being a sort of messenger came into my mind, but for or from whom, I didn’t know.

I noticed at this point that Ma’at had rejoined me. I hadn’t noticed she hadn’t come through the gate with me and I realized she had stopped at the steps to the gate, just before I interacted with the guardian.

Ma: “Do you understand what happened?”

Me: “I removed the obstacles in my path to progress.” My intent also portrayed that using force for it wasn’t the proper way to go about it.

Ma: “And the door?”

I thought about it for a moment, “I was removing a blockage in myself that prevented access through the door.” My intent conveyed that I wasn’t sure what this blockage was or why it had to be done that way. I also got the impression that she wasn’t going to provide an answer.

She was pleased, but there was something bothering me from yesterday. “What would’ve happened if I had forced my way through it, in both cases (yesterday and today)?”

I was shown that I would’ve gone through to the other side, but it would’ve been dark, instead of daylight, with little to see. And I would’ve found myself back on the other side of the door until I learned my lesson.

I thanked her for the explanation and started walking down the path towards the boat. I got almost a dozen steps in before the scene faded and I returned.

[TheFoolsErrand]

Thanks for this, very interesting!

I have that Book of Gates and there is something very profound about it whenever I read it.

[anon39079500]

I was in my ritual area when Ma’at came to me. “Follow me.”

I projected to just after the first gate. The scene look unchanged.

Ma : “What do you see?”

I described everything I could see, but I knew it wasn’t what she wanted.

Ma : “What are you looking at?”

I stood there a minute. “I’m seeing a (sort of) reflection of myself?” I heard a “no quite” in my head. I was confused. I looked over the scene again. There wasn’t anything particularly noteworthy about any of it.

Ma : “It is a representation of you, that part of you (engaged in this part of the path) here. Each person brings different parts, pieces in with them. They all see different things (and interact with the path in ways specific to what they brought in).”

Ma : “What else?”

Me: “I’m not sure. I don’t see anything going on, don’t feel any interactions (between the parts of the land and objects on top of it, such as grass, the boat, etc…).”

Ma : “Everything needed for Life is here.”

My eyes went to the field with the grains, the water, the shelter from the sparse palms. “I see no (significant) source of proteins (noticing the disturbing lack of people or animals that were present on the other side of the first gate).”

Ma : “Oh? Maybe there are fish in the water.” I saw that some were added. I had noticed the connections to Earth and Water, but my mind was starting to waver from having done some ritual work earlier involving evocations and energy work.

Ma : “That’s enough. We’re done for now.”

The scene faded.

---

Later, I realized that the trees had been swaying slightly (Wind) and that the Sun was visible (Fire). I would’ve represented the fifth element in the scenario, but I can’t remember what their model for the elements were.

I really should go to bed at this point. I have more than a sneaking suspicion I will be “serving” tonight.

[anon39079500]

I noticed I wasn’t where I left off at last time. I had been taking the path down to the boat. But I was back at the fork, with the right path leading to the boat and the left going somewhere else (initially).

Me : “I’m not on the path.”

Ma : “We’re not going that way this time. We’re going this way.” She pointed towards the left path. I didn’t have a reason to disagree, so we started walking.

Me : “There isn’t much here (meaning wildlife and the sort).”

Ma : “They would be distracting for you. The river only moves when you look at it. The trees only move in the breeze when you look at them. Nor the grass sway, until you look.”

I knew this was definitely true. I had wondered why there were no real sounds or movements. We walked a few more steps before we somehow came to a bend that seemed far off. In the inner arc of the bend, there was a red flower, with a yellow center, larger than my hand and out-stretched fingers. It resembled a Chrysanthemum. There was a single fly on the underside of one of the leaves. I knew this was significant, but don’t know why at this point.

Ma : “Go write down what has happened so far and come back if you can.”

I typed this up and went back. The fly was still there.

Ma : “What does the fly represent?”

Me : “Distractions (in general). You’re (I’m) inclined to stop what you’re doing and swat at it.” She was pleased.

Ma : “What has it distracted you from (here)?”

Me: “Walking? From taking in the scenery?”

Ma : “What did the book say about this phase?”

Me : “Peace, if I recall correctly.”

Ma : “Peace.” I could feel this was as much a question as a statement.

Me : “We both know I don’t feel much of that. True peace, not shorter-term peace that last for a moment or two.”

Ma : “Maybe that is part this lesson.” She sent me back.

[anon39079500]

I found myself back at the flower and the fly was still there. Ma’at motioned that we should begin walking.

After a few steps, I noticed we were walking alongside the river I had seen previously. This caught me off guard, as it looked like we were a good half mile or so from it, if not further away than that. I also noticed that the sun had begun lowering in the sky.

After what seemed like a minute, the sun was near the horizon and we were nearing the boat I had seen before. It was much bigger than I thought and I’m not convinced it’s the same boat. Different styles, lengths, and water lines.

I stopped and looked into the distance where I saw flocks of birds flying near some mountain. I then noticed that trees were swaying when in my peripheral vision and not just when looking directly. There were bugs in the sand just off the path. The water now had sounds where it met the shoreline.

I looked at Ma’at, “I don’t understand. The different path, the fast passage of time, the wildlife, and sounds. Why am I hearing and seeing them now?”

“The path was shorter, simpler, and has pleasant distractions because you’re at enough peace to see them.”, she replied. “Come, let’s get you onto the boat.”

We walked a few more steps and I climbed onto the pavilion/dock. I watched as the boat turned around and came in to dock. She didn’t say why this was important.

I climbed the remaining steps and as soon as both of my feet were on the boat, I returned.

---

About the distractions… I was surprised that I had managed to somehow progress through that with this difficult time of the year. Some of this may have been me actively working to challenge the conflicts I have with this time of year, but that can’t be all. There must be more to the nightly “service” than meets the superficial eye.

Another thing I wanted to bring up was that she suggested that I wasn’t seeing the distractions because I hadn’t been at enough peace with myself or that I was so focussed on other things that I failed to be able to process them. Or something else, I’m not entirely sure. But they were there this time and it was some measure of inner progress.

Another thing was that they path had been shortened because of progress. It was still a longer path than the one I tried to go down fresh out of the gate, but not nearly as long as it could’ve been.

Finally, I don’t know what the significance was with the sun lowering, but it was significant. She noted when I noticed it getting lower and when it was what I would consider to be an hour or two before setting, rather than high noon as it was. She gave no indication or impressions about it.

[anon39079500]

I was standing on the deck of the boat, which meant I hadn’t slid backwards on my path. I noticed the feel of the sun and the detail in the rope rigging of the furled sail. The boat pushed off and we drifted away from the coast a little ways.

Ma’at was standing beside me, to my left. I noticed shore birds flying about and thought I saw subtle signs of fish in the water. At this point, I realized I was barefoot and hadn’t noticed this before.

I saw the oarsmen go to their above-deck stations and begin pulling. There was an empty seat, so I started to climb down, to also pull with them when Ma’at stopped me. “No, that is not your job right now.”

Me : “I don’t understand. (I knew I would be pulling for others in some of my ‘service’) I’m not doing anything else.”

Ma : “But you are. You don’t realize it. Your job (at the moment) is to observe.”

I didn’t like it but concurred. I noticed the sun was higher in the sky than it had been the previous trip.

“It is a different day.” she replied when I questioned.

Me : “There is enough of a breeze to sail and the river is large enough to make it worthwhile to tack back and forth, instead of making them pull oars.”

She didn’t say anything and just looked at me before returning her gaze to the horizon.

Me : “I don’t understand how important work is being done by such mundane things like walking and traveling on a boat.” I had assumed that the walking/riding was just symbolic, but it seemed to have some sort of meaning.

Ma : “Part of you is working very hard right now, even if all of you is not. The way some parts of the water flow, the undercurrents and the top, all have meaning to other parts of your mind. The direction of the breeze in some areas, the strength of each, are symbols to your mind and, when put together, denote work (unlocking, growth, lessons being learned).”

I noticed a deer on the far shore (which was a lot closer at this moment than any of the others). It then turned into an antelope and back again as it crept through some cattails. She noticed I noticed it, but said nothing.

I stayed silent, listening to the oars move through the water and observing, until she touched my shoulder and I returned.

[anon39079500]

As a side note, I woke up thinking about the Book of Gates. I did read some of the text, as I usually do, before going to bed. The last thing I read was some Lovecraft, though.

I woke up feeling like I was on the deck again, but we were in a different spot (I don’t know how I knew this). My hands also felt “used”, so maybe I was rowing for someone else.

I don’t normally remember having any dreams and rarely remember anything past a few minutes. I still recall these few pieces and I’ve been up for fifteen minutes.

[anon39079500]

I was standing on the deck of the ship and I could see the deer/antelope on the far shore. I also saw a crocodile, but it wasn’t interested in the animal at all. It was watching me and for some reason, I knew that if I fell off the boat, the croc would get to me before I could get back on, despite it being far away.

I noticed that I can look to my right and the scenery from where we came from, but I couldn’t look to my left. I hadn’t thought about that on my last journey. It’s like I am not supposed to look ahead.

So, I was surprised when we came to the second gate.

The boat docked and I started climbing the several levels of wooden steps to stand before the gate. The gate itself spanned the entire river. There was no going around it. One either went through it or was rejected until they had advanced enough to be allowed past. I could see the river continued on the other side of it.

The Guardian was another snake and it stood in my path, simply watching for my next action. I put my hand up as I had done with the last and it moved aside to expose the door to the gate.

“I wish to pass through the second gate”. The door opened slightly, a signal that I could walk through.

I found myself in darkness. Almost complete darkness, similar to the blackness of a cave with no lighting, but this wasn’t quite that dark. I could see my hand in front of my face, but not my feet or what I was standing on. I slid my foot out and found that it was stone paving. Ma’at had rejoined me.

Me : “Where am I? Is this a cave?”

Ma : “Where do you think you are?” She noticed when I discovered the paving stones.

I knew I was in a structure, but not what kind. I clearly wasn’t near the river, judging by sound and smell. It did smell Earthy and there were traces of water in the air, but no salt in it.

She waited while I took this all in. Then, she lit a torch she carried in her left hand and I could see the stones. I could also see columns that disappeared into the darkness.

“Come.”, she said and gestured that I should follow her down a set of stone stairs that spiralled down into the darkness. We walked for a while, until I got the urge to look over the low wall.

For some reason, I jumped over the side and began falling. Ma’at followed.

At the bottom, we were definitely not part of the construction. It felt and looked like a cave and I could hear water dripping somewhere. She extinguished her torch and left us in darkness. “Produce your own light through your spirit.”

I willed a light from within myself and could see a distance into the cave. “I don’t know where I am.”

“Then go back and read”, she replied and touched me on my third eye, sending me back to my body.

Looks like I made it to the Underworld.

[anon39079500]

I found myself back in the underground cavern, but some distance from the stairs. I knew the other night that I had been “serving”, as I work up more tired than I went to bed.

Ma’at dropped her torch to her side and I understood I needed to provide the light. As my light shone, her torch extinguished itself.

We walked for a while and I noticed I was seeing two types of spirits. The more solid ones were moving with a purpose, moving the opposite way as myself. The others were faint, whispy in certain parts, and either were standing still or shambling along, almost aimlessly. I knew there were other types of spirits one may encounter here, but I hadn’t seen them and was simply riven the impression that they may be present at some point.

Ma : “What are these spirits (both types)”

Me : “The solid ones are serving. The whispy ones are the dead. They don’t seem to really know where they’re going.” I also noticed that they didn’t seem to produce light. Maybe they didn’t need it. “Is it my duty to help them?”

Ma : “Not at this time (you are not serving)”.

I nodded and we continued walking. The cave was similar to those I’ve seen in the Midwest, but there didn’t seem to be any real distinguishing features that stood out. I did notice that I would occasionally see light at the end of the tunnel, but this seemed to be more of a perception illusion and she said nothing as I noticed it.

We walked for a little bit longer, before she tapped me on the shoulder and I returned.

[anon39079500]

I stood in the cave again and didn’t feel I had moved much from my previous visit. Ma’at stood to my left and lowered her torch to remind me to provide the light.

As we walked along the path, I could feel cutouts, rooms or caves that had been created and knew there were things in some of them, but not all.

I could tell they were different sizes, different types of “creatures”, but that size didn’t equate to power. I don’t know why I picked up on that, even as I couldn’t see inside. The entrances were mostly blocked up with sediment but up over time. The same process for creating stalagmites and stalagtites had resulted in the blocking in of these creatures.

I could tell they stirred a little when my light went through the cracks and open areas, so I started emitting more for them. I then raised my hand to create a temporary light source for them and Ma’at gently pulled my arm down, " No, it is not your time to serve in that way".

We continued until we came to an underground lake. The Lake of Fire. I did scoop up some water and put it towards my mouth, when she stopped me again. It had no odor and for some reason, I decided to wash my hands and face, instead.

As I finished doing this, a small boat approached and I climbed on. She followed. Instead of oars or poles, this was being pulled along by four people, a rope on their outside shoulder.

As it moved along, I could see recessed fires (in cauldrons?) on the shores at intervals. We traveled like this for a while, until she tapped my shoulder and I returned.

[anon39079500]

I did forget to mention a few things.

When I leaned over to look into the water, I was shown different parts of my life. Little clips of notable moments. Some were of good, honorable things. Others of things I’d wish I’d done differently or not done at all. The time spent in each category was balanced, even though the number and meaning of the actions weren’t balanced.

I thought that was interesting and I also noticed that as I watched them, there were no emotions coming up, when there would’ve been had I been remembering some of those in my waking life. The purpose didn’t seem to be invoking feelings for those event. I felt that it was related somehow to the balancing of the types of events, but don’t really know how.

Another thing I forgot was that at certain points on the boat, I could her chanting, but not at others. The walls were solid and it wasn’t coming from any discernable source. Those pulling didn’t say anything at all, so I have no idea where the chanting was coming from, but, thankfully, the neighbors had turned their music off when outside, so it wasn’t them.

[anon39079500]

Woke up earlier than I wanted to. Woke up feeling pretty good, but am tired, since I didn’t just get up three hours ago. I did decide to journey with some of the time and Ma’at was waiting.

I was standing on the same ship, but it had oars this time that were moving on their own, without anyone manning them. I also didn’t see anyone pulling the vessel, but it was moving steadily. I didn’t feel a current.

I was in a much different part of the caverns. I knew I was some distance away from where I started. I noticed that the ship was passing through smooth walled tunnels that would come about as the ceiling got lower (low enough that I could see it).

We continued for some time, until I noticed there was a light. We were nearing the exit and can out onto a large lake. I saw that the shores were green and had things growing, but there were no features to anything. similar to seeing an area shaded green, but no specific trees or even a different between trees and grass.

“I shouldn’t be here”, I said and my confusion grew.

“No, You shouldn’t.”, she replied and the boat began moving backwards.

We were going back through the same system, but this time, moving backwards, I could see pictures and paintings of stories on the tunnel walls and recessed fires that were lighting them, where only my light had done so in the other direction. I realized that the lesson was that the journey has more clarity when looking backwards - remembering. Life has more clarity when we look back upon events than when we experience them.

We came to a crossroads of sorts on the water, where I could see several paths the boat could take. It stopped moving in the crossroads and I noticed a giant statue that I knew was something like a ram or a goat, made of stone, yet alive. I couldn’t see any of it’s features, but somehow knew what it was. I spent several minutes looking at it, without getting answers, before she sent me back.

[anon39079500]

The boat was moving along the tunnel and although I could tell people were pulling oars, I couldn’t see them. When I left off last time, I was at the waterway crossroads. If one were to spread their fingers out, the pointer finger was the direction that led to the lake I shouldn’t have been at. The pinky finger led to the Lake of Fire, where the journey began. We were now on the middle finger and were a quarter way into this section of the tunnel.

Ma’at was to my left, as usual, but we were silent as we moved along the waterway. The tunnel was close, narrow, and the ceiling of most of it was just above my head a foot or so.

I noticed that the lighting this time was visible. There was a combination of torches and candles lighting different parts of the walls in a pattern that didn’t make sense to me. I don’t know how I determined which made sense and which didn’t.

The walls themselves were an odd mixture of rough rock and smooth walls. How long of each there was varied, but on the smooth, prepared walls, there were pictured, similar to those included in the book. Scenes that I could catch glimpses of, but not the entire picture or scene. Normally, I would catch a glimpse of part of a head, an animal, some hieroglyphs, etc… Nothing to really explain the scene on the wall. Yet, I knew those scenes weren’t necessarily the most important.

I felt the boat stop and we were at the edge of what looked to be another lake inside a giant cavern. The boat reversed. From my last journey, I expected to see something different, but noticed that they seemed to be the same scenes, as far as I could tell. Same style of lighting. There didn’t seem to be a lesson here.

I was drawn to the rough rocks in particular. “Why are some walls smooth, with polish and done with care, yet there are still patches of rough rock (which had been smoothed, to an extent, but not polished)?”

Ma : “They are you. This represents your spiritual journey. There are parts of you that are very polished, that have been taken care of. There are also parts of you that need a lot of work.” (This wasn’t said unkindly, but more as an observation)

I also knew we were halfway through this small piece of tunnel and the boat stopped in front of a scene that I was allowed to look at.

I recognized Ma’at in the center of my field of view (I don’t know how big the entire scene was). She was facing left and her hand (right?) was up, pointing to some scales that seemed mostly balanced, but not quite. To her right, was a hawk or similar bird of prey, as if watching over he shoulder, also facing left.

I recognized myself, but with two faces, one pointing left, the other right, evenly split. I knew there were pictures to the left of me, but I wasn’t allowed to see what they were, including colors (no idea why I realized this). “Why do I face both directions?” I knew (roughly) that the Left coincides with the Afterlife and that the Right for Rebirth. “Does this mean that I’m halfway between the two in some manner?”

She paused a second before answer and in that time, I realized this wasn’t necessarily a current snapshot. “You will have a hand in both.” I knew she meant I would have a foot in each, but this didn’t quite make sense to me. Until I realized it had something to do with psychopomp work. I felt her agreement with this, but could tell there were things she couldn’t say or wouldn’t that would make it clearer.

She moved my attention back to the difference between the rough stone and the polished, painted walls. I realized I wouldn’t be able to make this entire wall smooth within one lifetime. I also felt her inject that it wasn’t needed. This didn’t make any sense to me.

Ma : “This wall (tunnel) represents this lifetime only.” She wouldn’t answer how many tunnels there had been in the past, whether they could be visited, or which areas were polished in them. She did smile when I wondered this, but said nothing.

Before the boat could begin moving again, she sent me back.