A Book of Gates

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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21

I wanted to look and see if my directions were “off” and they were. The general meanings for the directions are as follows, according to McCarthy.

South Forward Future

North Behind Past

East Left Into Life

West Right Into Death

I was back at the wall with my dual face. We began moving back to the large open cavern we had stopped at the previous journey. I could hear oars in the water, but couldn’t see them or those pulling them. I could see ropes from the boat being pulled along, but couldn’t see the people pulling it or even their outlines.

As we continued and entered the large cavern, a snake came up from somewhere, towering over the boat itself. This was Apep. It’s mouth opened and I could see it’s fangs, despite the darkness.

A shot of light came from behind me, from the left, another from the right followed. More followed from different directions. These were the Justified and Priests that were to subdue Apep, to allow the boat to pass. I knew I wasn’t to fight in this scenario, but didn’t know why.

Apep, fell back into the water and this caused a wave to come over the side of the boat, getting me wet. I tasted the water and it had a hard water, a mineral taste to it that I identified as raw and earthy.

We continued through the cavern lake and I could see large cauldrons with large tall fires marking the entrance to the Third Gate. Trouble was, every time we got close to it, it would move or the terrain would change, such as shoals blocking our path or water levels rising or lowering to make an area impassable.

Me : “I don’t understand why it keeps moving as we get close or even remotely close.”

Ma : “Have you asked it to appear?”

This struck me as odd, but I accepted it. “I ask the Third Gate to appear for me.”

An impenetrable section of rough, sharp rock somehow moved and the illusion of there not being a passage fell away. I didn’t know how I knew it was an illusion and this was never expanded on.

The boat approached the gate and could see the Guardian, the cobra Renenutet stood there, swaying slightly as her tongue flicked in and out. I could sense a “measuring” of me, but not hostility. I held up my hand and as I went to dissolve whatever was blocking my path, she moved before I could.

As I pondered why she moved before performing the act, the ground shifted again, the water levels rose, the Gate swung open, and the boat continued through the gate. It was almost pitch black on the other side.

Ma : “There are no light sources here.”

Me : “Then I must make my own.” and I let my light shine through the tunnel as the boat started moving slowly. She nodded and returned me.

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22

I was in the same tunnel, in basically the same spot I left off at last time. I could hear the oars propelling the boat through the narrow passageway. As I turned to look at the front of the boat, I could see four people in linen or similar pulling the boat.

“Why are they pulling the boat, if the oars are already doing the work?”, I.asked.and I.looked to the oars. There weren’t any I could see or sense, but I could hear them. At this point, I realized that the passage was so narrow that using oars wouldn’t really have been possible. " Where are the oars?"

Ma : “There are none.”

Me : “Why do I hear them?” I could feel the lurch that accompanied the pulling of the oars, so this added to my confusion.

Ma : “You hear them because you want to.” For some reason, I accepted this answer without question. The sound of the oars and the lurching of the boat ceased at this point. Mostly.

I noticed small, sealed up openings in the wall that weren’t much larger than a foot wide, but couldn’t tell what they were sealed with. Some type of mortar had been used to hold a stone or metal plug for it. It reminded me of catacomb chambers, for some reason. I asked about them.

Ma : “They are rooms for others to use as they see fit.”.

Me : They have awfully small openings." I could sense that they were larger on the other side.

Ma : “How much room do the dead need?” She didn’t say anything more about it.

The boat continues until it came to another lake. This one was full of rocks jutting out of the water. I could.tell the boat would have to take a specific path, as the rocks demanded it.

We pulled to the side and climbed out. I stripped out of whatever robe I was wearing and decided to bathe in the water. Despite it looking like only being a few inches deep, I was completely submerged. Ma’at did the same. When finished, I redressed and got back into the boat.

In a short distance, we came to a structure that was similar to a fountain, without the running water. Sometimes, water would run through it, I was shown, but it was dry today. In the center of it were various shapes that reminded my of composite animals, but I couldn’t place most of the features. I recognized the snout of a warthog, some cloven hooves, but that was about it.

We got out and started wading through the foot high water as the boat took another path around the back of the fountain. For some reason, it was important that we wade through the water, rather than walk on the rocks.

We met the boat and climbed back on. As we did, it went back into a narrow tunnel and the slow downwards increased slightly. I noticed the speed of the water flowing also increased.

After a few minutes without anything to look at, she sent me back.

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23

The boat was moving faster than it had been last time. The walls were still the narrow, smooth, natural rock that would jut out as “Nature” had dictated.

I somehow noticed that we were traveling over chambers in the floor. Some were hollow, but some had people or similar in them, but weren’t burial chambers as such. It was temporary and transitional.

I noticed that sometimes, one with an occupant in it felt brighter than others.

“You know them.”, Ma’at replied to my internal question.

“I don’t know how I would know them.” I got impressed with the words “Service” and “Past Lives”. So, I knew some of them from serving here. All right. I’m still iffy on past lives and their usefulness in this one, but can’t deny their existence. I felt that continuing to press on that wasn’t a good use of my time.

I noticed that some were more “awake” than others, with some seemingly in a very deep hibernation of sorts. “I don’t understand the purpose of this, these different states.”

She smiled at the question and I wasn’t sure if she was amused, gladdened at my noticing it, or some combination of both. “Some are waiting.” With these words, she sent additional understanding.

“And some are serving…” It was clear she wasn’t going to explain more than that.

The boat stopped at a small cavern. “Do you remember this place?”, she asked.

I was given third person scenes of lighting a candle and placing it in a recess my eyes had automatically locked onto, though there were no signs of activity. “I made offerings here.” She nodded. “But to who? Why would I make offerings here?”

She sent me back.

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24

I realize there is a mixing of points of view and verbage. I’m trying to capture this as I experienced it. This was one of those times where I was told to stop, write it down, then go back.

I’m at the bow of the boat and I’m pulling it along using a rope that is larger than my wrist. It’s difficult, but I don’t feel I’m straining to pull the boat along, continuing forward. I’m also not bracing my feet in any way, as if I’m somehow stuck to the boat, without feeling stuck to the boat.

After a while, I noticed that I could feel that the rope was anchored to a wall. I continued pulling and noticed that when I got close to the anchoring (but couldn’t see it in the torchlight), it would simply move further back. I wondered if I wasn’t supposed to be pulling it anymore, but felt I should continue and did.

The wall anchor would both move further out as I pulled, yet I felt I was getting closer to it. I realized this didn’t make sense, but continued anyhow. I eventually came to the wall anchor, lit by a torch whose light I couldn’t see until I got to it.

Without thinking about it, I cut the rope and the boat started drifting backwards, slowly at first, then more quickly. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do, but I couldn’t Will the boat to stop moving.

I looked at the rope and noticed it looked like a snake’s mouth, with fangs that would catch on the wall anchor, if I chose to throw it. I threw it impossibly far and it connected to the wall anchor again.

I pulled twice before I realized this was not the way I was supposed to do this. Yet, it was the only means I had to move the boat forward. The oars were locked away. There were no poles to push the boat through. There was no one there to pull the boat for me. Ma’at had a grin on her face, but said nothing.

I held up my left hand and stopped the water. For some reason, I gathered the rope and tossed it over the side of the boat, noting that it had somehow fastened around my right ankle. For some reason, I didn’t have an fear of being pulled overboard. I pointed me right finger at the ties around my ankle and they dissolved. The rope then fell completely into the water.

I realized I could now move the boat forward by Will alone. I crossed my arms over my chest and felt Ma’at slide a hand under my left arm, maintaining contact (don’t know why this was important).

The boat continued forward, into the darkness.

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25

I should clarify some things that I knew about the above entry. Had I been thinking, I would’ve done it there.

The rope symbolizes Life in the Book Of Gates and, as Ouroboros, the cycle of life, death, and rebirth. At this point in the journey, the candidate is supposed to be faced with and overcome the fear of dying or at least start the process of working through that primal fear.

The pulling of myself along the journey, without help, symbolized my working my way through life and pulling myself along with as little help as possible. And I understand why the target of going to the end of life kept moving further out - yet I reached it in the end.

Simply put, I’ve died numerous times. My lungs weren’t formed fully as an infant and I supposedly died a dozen times before I finally pulled through. I died several times as a child and have a couple of times as an adult. So, just when I was close to the end, the rope moved further out.

This also gives some understanding as to why I cast the rope off without hesitation or worrying about getting drug under. I don’t go looking for it, but it’s something I’ve accepted and felt closer to than those around me for literally as long as I can remember.

Didn’t plan on sharing any of that, but it came up in the Gates journeying. Wasn’t expecting that and it was interesting to see it manifest in that way.

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26

The boat was getting pulled again by oars, but was stopped as it came to a fork in the small stream. The choices were right or left, with a torch on the wall illuminating it. It was also saying that a choice would have to be made. I was also aware that the presence of the light from the torch made it impossible to see more than a foot or so into either path.

Ma’at was standing beside me, saying nothing.

“Left”.

“Right”, she countered and the boat began going down the right fork.

“Why was I given a choice, if it wasn’t mine?”, I asked. I wasn’t upset, but didn’t see the point of the “illusion of the choice”. This phrase popped into my head after I asked the question.

“Do you think you always have a choice, just because one is presented?”, she replied, continuing to look straight ahead. She typically looked or turned when addressing me and I wondered if this wasn’t to make sure nothing was revealed (even humor).

By my Will, I backed the boat up and started it down into the left fork. It wasn’t until I started going down this path that it got cold and it was covered in cobwebs. The opposite of what I had just been through in the right tunnel. I felt I shouldn’t be here.

I backed the boat up again and continued back down the right fork. Ma’at was amused and I knew she had expected this behavior. I’ve been a bit testy in regular life for the past day or two and felt that she already knew this and had accounted for it.

“The Left symbolizes Life. Why was it so cold, full of cobwebs, and less welcoming than the path to the Right, towards Death, the Underworld?”

“You’re more at home here, in some ways. Part of you ‘belongs’ here, which you’re just now coming to terms with.” She was referring to my intent to get started walking down the Necromancy path. I knew “belongs” wasn’t the word that she used, but it was what I translated it as. I don’t know anything more than that and when she realized I picked up on that, she grinned and said nothing.

I was a little frustrated, mostly with not knowing, but continued without comment.

The tunnel opened up slightly and the ceiling rose out of sight. The rocks on either side would form what looked like archways, but without the center stone, not seemingly carved, but without indication of how it was crated. There were light sources, fires, at their tops, which illuminated the surrounding area, leaving only a little darkness between arches.

And then the Fourth Gate appeared. The Door was more circular at the top, immitating the arches we passed through. It had the center stone and was clearly “made” by workers rather than formed by nature.

I saw the Guardian, another snake with some sort of crown on it’s heard. I knew it was female, but struggled to see features with the light to it’s back, casting it in a bit of shadow.

The boat stopped at the half dozen steps leading from the water to the Gate platform. As I stepped onto the stone steps, I could feel the Guardian changing. I knew it was supposed to be Hathor, from the text and saw the snake morph down into a woman’s shape as I got closer. By the time I got to the top of the steps, it was complete.

She stepped into the light at this point and I noticed her tanned skin, dark, long hair, and brown, unblinking eyes. I knew that holding up my left hand wasn’t going to work this time. Instead, I stood there, being measured, a feeling of “judgment” mixing with the energy coming off of her.

After a while, she simply stood aside and gestured towards the gate with her left hand. A staff or similar was in her right and I hadn’t noticed it until that moment.

As I took a few steps towards the slightly opened door, Ma’at stopped me and took my left arm before motioning that I should continue. I stepped through, into the darkness and was sent back before I could see what was on the other side of it.

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27

We were already walking down a stone corridor. There were torches mounted onto the walls, illuminating the path. Ma’at was walking beside me, to my left.

Ma : “We have to speed things up.”

Me : “I thought this was supposed to take a while? Why go through it faster that we are?”

Ma : “Parts of it will interfere with your other path.” She was referring to a pathworking I’m getting ready to start soon that should also involve forays into the Underworld(s).

Me : “As long as it doesn’t shortchange the needed growth.”

She nodded agreement and didn’t say anything more about it.

After walking for a while, I noticed there were alcoves or caves to my left (none on the right that I noticed). After passing the first couple of them, I knew the next was “mine”

I entered the small cavern and noticed there was a raised circular area that had a small statue on it that was kneeling. I understood that I was to adopt this position and meditate inside the circle.

As I got down onto my knees, I noticed that I was wearing the same clothing and adornments as the statue in front of me. I somehow had a staff in my left had, with the top end looking similar to a single flame.

I meditated for a little while, which I can only characterize as complete blackness behind my eyelids and nothing going on in my mind. It was like I had detached, but was still within my body and nothing else was present. Ma’at had waited outside the cavern, in the tunnel.

As I got up and joined her, I noticed I didn’t quite feel like myself, almost like I was playing a role of sorts, but which role and why, I couldn’t say. I still wore the clothes and the staff was still in my left hand.

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28

We walked for a while, until the tunnel opened into a marshland. A desert marshland, rather than the temperate ones I had grown up near. The lush, green vegetation clashed with the flat tan of the sand that had moved around it.

Ma’at placed “my statue” from the cavern onto a raised seat in the middle of a small boat. Without thinking, I grabbed a thick rope and began pulling as I entered the water.

I pulled the boat and remained mostly above the water, the majority depth being chest height. After what felt like several hours of pulling, I noticed that the rope that had been as thick as a large apple and tied somewhere in the back (I couldn’t see where), was now thumb thick and tied to the front. I had ben so intent on pulling the boat through the marshes that I didn’t recognize or notice the changes when they occurred.

She told me to pause when the water was ankle deep and instructed me to look around the area. I noticed that there were natural formations of rocks that were fencing in the remaining water, creating this marsh. It was also leading towards a mountain of sorts I could see in the distance. I knew the mountain had significance, but felt like I would be going back underground, rather than climbing the outer faces of it.

I began pulling again. The water was more like large puddles at this point, but I didn’t notice an additional resistance from the sand. What I did notice was that it was getting harder to continue to grab onto the rope. The rope was getting smaller and smaller and when it was so small I couldn’t hardly get a grip on it, it became slick, slimy, and couldn’t be used.

I grabbed the front of the boat with my right hand and continued my trek forwards. I noticed it had become significantly harder to pull the boat, even though I had a better grip than at the puddles.

It continued to get harder, until I couldn’t move the boat any more, regardless of how hard I pulled. A look to the mountain said I wasn’t even halfway there. I stood there, panting, trying to catch my breath. I realized that there was something I just wasn’t “getting”.

Ma : “Go back and type up this portion, then come back.”

As I typed it up, it became clear that the stone “me” represented my old life, the old person I was carrying around, lugging around, mindlessly serving as I continued forward in my journey.

The rope itself is supposed to represent Life or a tether to Life, in this case. I was continuing to carry my old life around. The rope moving from the back to the front represented my awareness of the past influencing the present and my willingness to deal with those things in the past. As time passed, I moved with and dealt with those problems more consciously, hence the moving of the rope from the back to the front. The thickness represented the hold and influence it has and had over my life. And even when the rope wasn’t useful anymore, I continued to try to hold onto it.

The boat was more useful in the water than on the sand, yet, I carried the boat past the point of usefulness. It was a profound moment and I’m thankful she sent me back to process it. Now I will return to her, but will be leaving the boat and the statue.

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29

I left boat behind as I followed the “fence” of rocks along the path. Once I crossed over a small hill, I could see that there was more water, but in the form of a river. Another boat was waiting. Ma’at came up beside me and it was then that I realized she had been walking silently behind me. I felt like I should’ve looked for her upon returning, but she waved this off.

I walked down to the boat and could see people on it and people waiting to pull it for me. The two attendants on it both had animal heads, one of a jackal, the other I couldn’t identify, but it reminded me of an elephant. I felt that trying to work out why this was wasn’t the best use of my time.

I stepped onto the boat and sat down on the raised seat provided. The first time I recall having one. As the people in the water pulled the boat by rope, the attendants on the ship used poles to have push it along. I don’t know why both were being used, but they were. I could also sense that there was “something” in the water, but I couldn’t see what it was and those in the water didn’t seem concerned by it.

This continued for a while and the rest was uneventful for a while. Truth is, it was boring, but seemed important for reasons I can’t explain. The river did turn towards the Sun (East) over time, which was the only time I saw the Sun during this portion of the journey.

The Sun was so bright, it hurt my eyes, even as I held my hands up to shield my eyes. I didn’t see the dock coming when the boat gently bumped into it and I was faced with a small set of stone steps that led into some building. I was honestly thankful to get out of the sunlight, which was much more bright than it should’ve been.

I walked up a few dozen steps, broken up with small landings between them. These led to a stone room whose ceiling I couldn’t see. The stone columns disappeared into the darkness. After walking across the floor, I could see another set of stairs that led to a figure on a throne. This was the Guardian of the Fifth Gate.

As I started up the steps, I noticed that peripherally, I could see guards or watchers to the side of the steps, but they weren’t visible when looking directly at them. They were observing me as I moved up the stairs.

I knew this was some sort of initial judgement before getting to the Guardian and at any point, I could be judged not worthy of whatever that observing spirit was judging me for, and the guard at that place would escort me…somewhere.

About three quarters of the way up the steps, I felt a hand on my arm, forcing me to stop. The guard used the shaft of his spear to firmly move me back down to the previous Observer. I could see them at this point, but only this observer. There was some contention with whether I would be allowed to pass.

With this much scrutiny and obvious doubt over whether I had passed that point, I decided to walk back down the steps to be judged another day. I thought it was interesting that I walked down the steps backwards, just as smoothly as if I had been facing the direction I was walking. I felt an approval for my actions, but could see or sense where this came from. I only knew it came from some Observer.

Ma’at was smiling when I made it to the base of the steps. I had made the right call.

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30

I woke up at 1230 (0030/2430 hours) and realized I’d been serving or similar up to that point, in my sleep. I also knew I needed to go back into the realm consciously.

I returned to the bottom of the steps and slowly began my ascent back up them. Once again, I was stopped at the same point. This time, I felt a sort of nod or similar and the spear was raised. I continued.

Two places later, I was stopped again. I knew I wasn’t going to get past it. I started walking backwards, only to feel a spear shaft on my back, blocking me in the other direction.

“No. When you return, come back to this point (not the bottom of the stairs)”. I have no idea who said it, but it wasn’t Ma’at and I didn’t know where she was.

I returned to my bedroom with mixed feelings. I was glad to have gotten further, but some sort of explanation would’ve been nice.

By 0130, I knew I needed to go back to sleep to continue whatever work needed done. But I was quite awake, so I took some allergy medicine and waited to see if sleep would come. It hadn’t by 0230, but had by 0300.

I woke up and knew I needed to return. I did so, and found myself back on the step I had left from. As I started forward, I made it past my previous stopping point (the second) and was stopped by the next Observer’s guard. I then felt the spear shaft of the guard I had just passed. I was trapped between the two.

I waited a few moments before my irritation started coming forward. No indications, words, nothing. How was this helpful? I calmed myself and waited.

I noticed that this was a flat part, a landing, and felt I should look up. I knew I was only a half dozen steps from the top and could see the Guardian. But I also noticed Ma’at standing to the right of her (my left looking up).

She said nothing and I noticed a set of small scales in her left hand. As soon as I noticed, they disappeared. She was telling me to remain calm and that I was being judged.

The Guardian nodded and then split in half, revealing a staircase. The spears lifted and I walked to the opening. Ma’at followed behind.

The stairs were narrow enough that we couldn’t walk together and there were no walls. It was a drop off of immeasurable height below and there was a reddish glow over everything. It was the only lighting, but seemed to light everything enough that I could see clouds or fog below. My fear of heights kicked in a little, to be honest, even though I knew I wouldn’t fall without doing something stupid. I couldn’t tell what would happen if I did.

This walkway kept going downwards until it opened onto solid ground (which I was thankful for). It looked like it was the start of actual land again, even though I knew we were still underground and the Sun didn’t reach here. I saw some grass, though.

She sent me back.

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31

I woke up many times last night, which isn’t unusual. Three of those four times I woke up knowing I had been “working”, serving, but there’s work also being done besides serving. Each time, except the last, I knew I was going to do more. I woke up a lot more tired than when I went to bed. Ma’at is ratcheting this up, for sure.

I was standing on a small bridge, traversing an area that looked like trees with cotton balls for tops. I couldn’t identify what the bridge was made from, either. It seemed like I had gone from a gloomy, dungeon-esque setting to a fantasy one. I stepped onto a grass and rock ledge.

“This can’t be right. I have to go back and re-project.”

Ma : “No, you are in the right place. Follow the trail.” It felt like she was speaking from outside the scandal, rather than being in it. I heard her voice up and to the left, but couldn’t see or sense her presence in the area.

I climbed up the next grassy rock formation, then another. The path, which looked like a worn game trail, split and I knew I should take the right fork.

The fork ended after a few dozen feet at some sort of scenic valley overlook. I was simply looking at an open expanse of these same types of trees from a vantage point about 3/4 up a mountain. Honestly, I wasn’t inspired or awestruck at all. I just wanted to know why I was there.

Ma : “It doesn’t matter (that I wondered). Take the other fork now.”

I returned to the fork and took the other path. This led to some very hard climbing over several ledges whose size didn’t equate to difficulty. Eventually, I reached the top of this part of the mountain, but not the summit of the mountain itself.

I was looking at a bleaker overlook than before. This in was realistic. If I had turned around, the fantasy setting would be there. On this side, it was realistic with snow on some of the smaller peaks, clouds being pushed by the wind, and a cold wind on my face.

“Jump.” I jumped.

I fell/floated downwards and eventually, Ma’at joined me as I continued my descent. I passed through the rock and recognized the strange, red glow from yesterday’s caverns. I was relieved to be seeing something I recognized.

Until I landed on the exact same bridge as yesterday. I felt like I hadn’t done something properly or I wouldn’t have ended up doubling back in a path I had already walked. It was a little disheartening, but I simply started walking. What else was there to do?

I began noticing differences as I walked on. Ma’at confirmed that this was the same bridge, in the same area. It was narrower than I remembered and I could see that some areas looked weakened and eroded. As if the concrete were splitting apart in some areas. Which is when it started splitting in a structural beam, but not one I could see.

I kept walking as I heard the bridge collapsing behind me and right before it got to where I was standing, a path opened up to my right. I jumped onto it and immediately noticed something was off. Walls came up alongside the path, turning it into a corridor. This connected to other corridors. I was in a maze.

Ma : “This represents your mind.” I walked through the maze for a while, noting the connections from one place to another. It’s like I “knew” them, almost as if they had names. They were all simple connections, but out together, powered/supported complex machinery. It reminded me of how software is made.

I knew that if I kept following the maze, I’d never find my way back out in any reasonable amount of time. I felt like I had to rise above it, so I climbed in top of the corridor wall.

I suddenly noticed that I had been walking around some sort of house or building with my “maze” that wasn’t visible until I gained a different perspective. It was now obvious that it was there and I was near a second story balcony I could reach by walking along these walls.

I started making my way towards it, when Ma’at grabbed my arm and told me to go back and copy this down before I forgot it. Which I’ve done. Now, I’m going back in. I want to see what’s in that house…

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32

I grabbed the railing to the balcony and the entire balcony crumbled and fell. I felt I could still leap through the doorway. As I readied, Ma’at grabbed my arm, firmly, but gently. I shouldn’t go in. I was furious.

I softened as I searched her face for clues. She wasn’t doing this because she wanted to. She was doing it because it wasn’t my house.

I turned back to the building and finally noticed it’s age, the decay, the emptiness of it. There were remnants of personal items in it, pictures, a nightstand, clothing, but it hadn’t been lived in or used for quite some time. It was from a different life. Of mine. A past life and for some reason, this made it felt like I would be trespassing.

Me : “Then why is my mind, my brain building around it?”

Ma : “It isn’t.” She gave no other hints.

She told me when I first entered the corridor - it represented my mind. It wasn’t my mind. I didn’t understand why I had to do the maze at all or why the building mattered. I wondered if this entry and the last were about perspectives and expectations, but didn’t ask.

She brought me to the same opening I had left off on after the Fifth Gate, where the now destroyed bridge left me off at. I could see a valley, some mountains, a large dirt road leading somewhere, and a stream right below, hundred of feet down. I needed to go to the stream, so I jumped.

Part of me wondered if it would hurt when I hit the water, but I went right in and didn’t go down too far. I wanted to get out of it, though. There were things in it I couldn’t identify. It was also much larger than it looked from that high up.

A river transport boat pulled along side and I climbed in. It.would’ve been a nice scene, with the rolling, green hills, rocky outcrops, and a light breeze, but I was still upset at the building (for some reason, this took on exaggerated emotional importance).

Ma’at had joined me on the deck and she was quite pleased with either herself or me, with a big smile, but I wasn’t in the mood to ask. Why was I so upset about that house? That wasn’t “mine”?

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33

Funny. I have reason to believe this isn’t that uncommon when sleeping. I don’t think it’s all for the same purpose though-like it may vary by individual, but I think more of it goes on than we are aware of.

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34

Agreed. I’ve heard people talk about traveling while sleeping. What they were doing, I may not want to know…

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35

Well like. I’ve had times I thought I projected that ended up seeming more dream like, but I’ve noticed some patterns, and the same characters that I’ve never met- showing up frequently and then once I asked where we were going once… Don’t you remember, we work here?

:woman_shrugging:t3: :woman_shrugging:t3: Conjecture at this point, but it seems like some of us may have more to the sleep cycle than we realize.

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36

I was still a little sullen about that house, which I found amusing. A few seconds after realizing this, it had passed.

Ma’at was standing to me left as the riverboat lazily followed the river as it wound towards the quarry I knew it ended at. It would’ve been a nice trip with the sun and scenery, but something about this gate seemed more ominous to me than I recalled the others being., I couldn’t place why. As the boat followed the slope downwards, I started becoming a little apprehensive. I didn’t understand why.

Eventually, the boat slipped over a little ledge and the filled quarry (which had been filled to accommodate the boat) and I knew that it meant here was no going back the way one came.

This gate was built into the side of the rock face. Where as the others looked more like castle gates tome, this looked more like a rock vault. The Guardian was as large as the vault door, which looked five stories tall, swaying as its eyes studied me.

I decided apprehension wasn’t going to serve me here and I cast it aside. As I did so, the Guardian moved aside, the gate door swung open, and the boat began moving again. It seemed very anticlimactic, given the lead up to the event itself. I wondered if I was being set up for some cosmic joke, but the boat slid into the tunnel behind without incident.

Once the boat was completely inside the tunnel and the gate had closed again, I realized that there had been people working in and moving about the quarry, even as it had been filled with water. It made me wonder if the water had simply been for my benefit. Ma’at smiled and I thought I heard faint laughter when I realized they didn’t have to worry about drowning…

After a few more minutes, I was told to come back later.

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When I returned, I was in chains. I could feel the heavy, cold metal on my wrists and ankles. There was a length of chain running from my wrists that connected to a similar on at my ankles. This was then chained to some place lower in the boat I couldn’t see. I knew I could dissolve them, but that they would reappear and that this would be an exercise in futility. Ma’at was amused with my recognition of the situation. While I hadn’t panicked, I really don’t like submitting without good cause. And I didn’t know if this was good enough. I was consciously controlling my irritation as best I could.

The boat was being towed through the water again. I could see the ropes, but not those pulling them. The ropes simply vanished into nothingness. This added to my discomfort (and was likely intentional), as not only was I bound to the boat, but couldn’t see and assess those surrounding me. As an analyst and former Infantryman, this was clearly some test against these personality traits.

So, I let that part of me slide away and instead focused on the things I could observe. To be honest, the irritation was still there, still brewing, but I had to choose to temporarily submit to keep my sanity and ability to think clearly. I’ll play the game, for now.

The boat continued down the narrow tunnel and nothing was noteworthy. It was completely bland and boring. And I was chained to the damn boat. I wanted to pace around the deck to try top amuse myself or at least keep my brain going. Why this stretch was so boring when I’d spent plenty of time standing on other decks and wasn’t bored, I didn’t know. But this one bothered me. Which was my clue.

I dropped my mind and dropped my emotions. And the chains slid off my wrists and opened at the ankles. I could now see those pulling the boat through the tunnel. As we rounded the next bend, it opened into a small nook with an alcove for a candle, which Ma’at produced. I lit it with my mind and put the lit candle into it.

“Who’s it for?”, Ma’at asked.

“Myself”

I think the chains were to show me that I expect things to happen on this journey. I was expecting things to happen, wanted things to happen, instead of simply letting them happen. I don’t think the lessons would be caused by me, but that wasn’t the point. Overall, it was another lesson in being present, of letting things happen as they should when there was no reason to force them to happen. This is a touchy and hard lesson (still), when we (some of us) spend our magical and mundane lives trying to make our wills happen in the Ordinary. Making things happen is part of the learning process with both worlds, but the lesson for me was to sometimes let things happen instead of forcing them to. This has significant relevance in my life currently, as I know several things are going to happen, but am having trouble being patient in letting them occur over time.

I did bring to mind something I had noticed since the ramp-up of this journey. I’ve felt like part of me was still journeying while the rest of was awake and in regular life. Before it was only my sleep, but there seems to be a very small connection that keeps things moving back and forth. It hasn’t affected my workings, which have mostly been evocations or direct energy workings. maybe it was that way since the beginning and I simply didn’t notice it, but I don’t think so. I’ve been more tired lately and feel like I’ve been working spiritually and tracing the connection leads to Ma’at. I did confirm this with Hecate, Belial, and Lucifer, just to be on the safer side.

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I blew the candle out and handed it back to Ma’at. I took a moment to wash my hands and face in the water before climbing back aboard the boat.

There were no more torches lighting the way and the tunnel was almost completely black. After a while, a faint glowing could be seen that I knew was an exit. The hints of light had become a small hole. This eventually became the exit to the marshlands beyond.

We exited the river boat at a landing just outside the exit and waited for a smaller ferry to come and continue the journey. I took the time to observe the green grasses and noticed that some areas were flooded, similar to rice cultivation, where as other areas weren’t. Those must be for the “barley”. I can’t remember what barley looks like, but it certainly wasn’t corn.

The small raft came over to us, being poled by someone whose face I couldn’t see. The raft reminded me of those small transport rafts made of lashed bamboo that you see in Southeast Asia, but was slightly larger and I knew this was to help with crop transportation. Ma’at and I climbed aboard and it shoved off back towards the direction it came from.

We wound around the different fields, each in different stages of cultivation, but all of them were some sort of grain. I made note that there weren’t any types of fruit trees, but I didn’t know why I noted this. Only grains.

Eventually, we stopped at a small field where people were working. Some were planting, some were harvesting, others threshing. Still more were processing it into flour and, further on, more were baking the bread. I noticed that this was the first time I’d really seen the bread making process in the Gates, despite it being used as references the entire time. I knew it symbolizes the alchemical process of transforming the soul, but this was just an abstract reference to me. Now, I was seeing the process, which, while still an abstraction, looked very real.

A man grabbed my right hand and placed some seed in it. He placed a sickle or similar in my left. I was to start planting seed in the marsh.

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You should look at the Josephine’s Quareia course - there’s a lesson in there about the “Grindstone” and “threshing”

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Thanks for the tip. I’ve read some of it after reading this book the first time. I didn’t care for the approach, but didn’t read anything past the intermediate stuff. It already irritated me that they’re using the book to try to lure people into their version of mystery school, rather than simply providing the information. If they would’ve said where to reference in their materials as I read, it would’ve gone over better.

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