WTF meditation

Was meditating tonight to try and improve myself, specifically with the goal of opening my clairaudience. Was doing this by reaching trance over Lilith’s sigil, as I usually reach trance very quickly this way. The minute I reached it, though, unlike usual where I feel tingles/vibes, I was hit with sadness. I tried to stop it for a few minutes, but it overwhelmed me to the point I started crying. This has never happened before. In fact, I keep my emotions well in check and have experienced enough loss in my life time that I don’t even shed tears at funerals. It’s been over an hour, and though I was able to stop the crying after a few minutes, I still feel sad for no reason.

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If you’ve never meditated before or you are new to it, its important to know it can worsen depression, anxiety, ptsd, or psychosis in some people, among other things, so if you’re mentally ill in any way or suffer these kinds of symptoms you might want to try something else. It can also sometimes draw out deeply lodged feelings even if you’re not mentally ill, which can be worked through.

If you meditate regularly and this never happened before, I’d suggest looking into it via divination, especially practice some shadow work to help you get through the feelings and try to manage them, where they came from, etc.

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It sounds to me like Lilith opened up your energies to the point where they overflew, you said you keep your emotions in check and rarely cry, I think Lilith opened you up :slight_smile:

I could be wrong but this is my take

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Tbh, I have had a roughish life, but I have experienced a lot of good too. I do have a lil PTSD from some things, but I have worked through them and my other issues for the most part. I am not suicidal, and though I was close to it once many decades ago, it was more towards the fuck it self destructive side then harm myself outright, and I have gotten past that. I figure shadow work would be me vs my ego if anything lol. Thank you for your concern though:)

I was wondering if it might be that. It just took me off guard cause usually I experience a sort of warmth and comfort.
Also, keep wondering if it’s a random joke on my part. I have no issues with clairsentience, and whilst I keep trying to meditate and figure out ways to increase my other 2 clairs, my clairsentience seems to be the one that keeps getting stronger lol

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My Friend, Nothing Is Wrong. I believe you are releasing some past sores and like @MagickVigilante mentioned too, I think that was exactly what lillith did.
I also cried like crazy one of the first times I started meditating to lucifer, I keep my emotions in a very solid check and I still shed those tears my friend.
So it’s nothing to worry about, just keep going.
And oh, I cried twice, the second time was after I ended a meditation to King Paimon.

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Yeah meditation can release pent up emotions that are trapped inside. So when your relaxed enough it can cause an emotional reaction such as crying. As it’s releasing it late from the ego putting on pause.

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I feel a lot better about it now, but also not sure what to do with it. If it occurs again, do I lean into it, 'cause I probably wasted it this time doing my best to collect myself and push it out of my mind.

I would just feel it and let it out next time. I would also suggest doing a post meditation write up in your shadow work diary or meditation diary. This will help you trace what your feeling and about what over time.

I log 'em in the BALG med journal pretty regularly. Just have to try to keep myself in the habit of it as I miss a day here or there.

I’ve had this happen during/after meditation with a different demon. Just full on sobbing because of like, life, basically.

There is a feeling of pleasant calmness afterwards, which is nice.

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