"Why am I like this?" - Tarot readings for the socially awkward and the self-doubting CLOSED

Hello, folks :slight_smile: I decided to switch to a fixed topic for my readings, for a change.

This Tarot reading will deal with the eternal question and prompt “Why am I like this?” and is especially designed for the (not only) “socially awkward” and overall insecure seeker :slight_smile: My goal is to give the seeker impulses not only about the “why” but about how to change perspective and how break up old patterns.
This is highly experimental and a first one, for me :slight_smile:

How it works:
I will lay out Tarot cards (no other systems, this time). I will try to pinpoint how the past is affecting your decision making (or the lack thereof), what you’re avoiding but need to address, what is making you feel “different” from others and what could actually connect you to them and where to start to break your old patterns or habits (=the most manageable task for you at this very moment). The readings will be done in this thread, no PMs :slight_smile:

I will start tomorrow. Please keep in mind that I am a moderately busy person with a full time job and other responsibilities, so I will get to the readings in chronological order :slight_smile:

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This sound really awesome :fire:

I am in :muscle: @A_Pariah,

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Yes what an awesome idea and I would - tentatively (lol) like a reading as well please :slightly_smiling_face:

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I would love a reading :slight_smile:

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I’ll throw my name into the hat.

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I’d like to get a reading too😄

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I’d like a reading too if you can

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I’m interested too!

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im in for this😃

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a reading for me pls

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Id love one too please!

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Oh, I think you would have a lot of fun with me! :smiley: If you’re open to one more person, I’d love to throw my hat into the ring!

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Sign me up if there is still room!

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Ohh… That’s unique, I would love one.

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Can I hve one

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Hello all, thank you all for your participation :slight_smile: I will get through all of your readings bit after bit. I have closed this thread for new entries and will open it when I am done with the current requests :vertical_traffic_light:

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Hey @mth_yesco , here is your reading :slight_smile:

Past influence(s) over how you’re approaching decisions in your life today:
Nine of Cups in reverse. Looks as if there has been something really disappointing in your life; a wish or an ambition that somewhat came true but that didn’t turn out how you imagined it. This experience might have left you with an overall lack of trust in your own decisions, because you’re questioning the outcome beforehand. There is no process of trust in the outcome because it could disappoint you, no matter what. So why putting a long term and steady effort into things if they will fall apart anyway?

The thing(s) you’re avoiding but need to adress in that context:
The Wheel of Fortune
If this isn’t a downright answer to the question that has been left by the Nine of Cups in reverse :slight_smile: You need to face the probability that there IS, in fact, good fortune and things working out in your favour. That you can and should put your time and your energy and your heart into something that “could” disappoint you because the outcome could be damn fine. The Wheel of Fortune symbolizes cyclic change and cyclic changes are completely normal. These changes feel uncomfortable in the face of careful planning towards a goal or a certain outcome and at times these changes could make you feel as if nothing will just ever work out, leaving you not giving your all into something. This is a fallacy, because making most out of something DESPITE changes in the plan will lead to a pretty neat outcome, even if it might have missed the original mark.

What is making you feel different or at times not connected to the people and environment around you:
Eight of Wands in reverse
There seems to be a deep feeling of “the progress is slow compared to XY” or “there is no progress at all, WTF” when you look around. Your respective peers appear to be much “further” on the path than you are, they seem to struggle less and everything they’re doing works out instantly. Maybe you’re hearing the “When I was your age I was the King of Cyprus AND had eight children and two Crocodiles at home while fighting for the working class and being shamelessy rich at the same time!” song from older relatives on top of that. It makes you feel slow compared to everyone and their aunt.

What could make you connect straight back to your environment and its people:
Seven of Swords in reverse.
In this constellation this card suggests you to “come clean” about your thoughts to your peers. No brooding, no hidden planning, no strategies to outdo them, no wanting to be “better”. This won’t lead to anything other than feeding the myth of “Everybody is moving forward much faster than me”.
If you’d start to talk to them about your struggles or impressions you will probably learn that they can relate to your situation and that they had or still have their battles to fight (mundane or mentally). You will learn about all of the bumps in their roads and how not straight at all their journeys have been, so far. Maybe their experience with certain things will bear a solution to your own struggles at the moment.

Where to start with breaking old patterns or habits that don’t serve you anymore:
Ten of Swords
“There is nothing I can do” is an illusion and its time to lay this way of perception to rest. You might not be able to master each and every aspect of your surroundings but you must learn how much is actually in your own sphere of influence, already. This could be small things (maybe stuff that you didn’t know five years ago, stuff that makes your day a lot easier today), it could be greater achievements through experience, it could be the people you came to know because of your education or worklife. This shit does count, even after certain aspects of them might be over by now. It all added to your skillset and your mental development and you don’t have to feel so powerless from the reversed Nine of Cups experience. You are not the same person anymore, you don’t have to carry this mindset around with you.

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Hey, @CovertCreator. Here is your reading :slight_smile: (I cropped the picture but in the original I captured an orb like thingy moving underneath the row of cards, btw)

Past influence(s) over how you’re approaching decisions in your life today :
Eight of Cups.
Huge abandonment and loneliness/solitary vibes coming in. Someone left you (I get the impression “had to leave” from somewhere) and you’re struggling to this day a little with the impact that this loss confronted you with. I sense a big amount of introspectiveness that comes with the experience, you don’t fool around when making a decision, there is always a weighing up of some sort (which isn’t the baddest thing but maybe a bit of spontaneous gut feeling would contribute to unexpected yet pleasant outcomes :slight_smile: ).

The thing(s) you’re avoiding but need to address in that context:
The Four of Wands, together with the Page of Cups in reverse
Both cards came out together, so I will integrate both of them into the interpretation.
The Page of Cups in reverse is pointing towards an inner wound or vulnerability that stems from something that looks quite like inner child trauma (I don’t like to use this term too often). You seem to be aware of this wound and you seem to deal with it on your personal terms, so what needs to be addressed here is: you are welcomed to be a part of a community, you are welcomed home (wherever that is for you), you are supported and you are nurtured, despite this inner wound or how it made you look at the world. You don’t have to carry this cross alone, you have someone around you who are very supportive and loving towards each and every aspect of you.

What is making you feel different or at times not connected to the people and environment around you :
The Six of Pentacles in reverse.
This is interesting because it clashes with the community aspect of the Four of Wands and the open arms that I’ve described for this card above.
Maybe you made the experience that not everyone will offer you their support without ulterior motives. Maybe someone abused their knowledge about how vulnerable something has made you and you had to suffer because of it. This could have made you really cautious towards the “community” idea and you’re always a bit guarded even towards the people who love and support you.

What could make you connect straight back to your environment and its people
Nine of Cups
Indulge yourself into their care and love. Whatever made you feel bad or wrong for trusting someone with your wound: it is behind you, its over, this experience won’t be replicated. You have people around you who appreciate and recognise you and all of your aspects. Dare to believe in these peoples integrity and their good intentions.

Where to start with breaking old patterns or habits that don’t serve you anymore
Queen of Wands
In the context of every other card and their relations to the prompts above, the Queen of Wands invites you to come out of the Eight of Cups introspection and to meet the world with your natural courage and enthusiasm (you don’t have to conjure both aspects up, they seem to be present all along). Take up the space, the room, that you deserve (maybe in the middle of the Four of Wands? :slight_smile: ). It will make you feel more authentic and it will inspire those around you.

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Firstly thank you for exceptional reading :handshake:

It’s true and usually my wishes come true but with that bitterness. I cannot enjoy the thing. It’s really upset me. Am kinda disconnected physically or emotionally with the wish that came true

Yeah and I feel powerless like someone else is running my life

Yeah i always feel like am always behind compared to my friends. Always get the things a bit late that normally looks easier for other people to get

🫣:cry::cry:

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Hey @Mind_Seeker20 , here is your reading :slight_smile:

Past influence(s) over how you’re approaching decisions in your life today
Three of Wands in reverse
I can sense that you’ve started a very personal long term journey through something that didn’t quite turned out like you’ve imagined it to be. You had a yearning for a future concept about something (about yourself) and it didn’t play out as imagined. This experience seems to weigh your confidence down, it questions your self-image now and even your future self-image. This experience makes you doubt your deeper personal decisions (the “Who/What do I want to be?”) rather than day-to-day decisions. Back then you didn’t came out of something like you’ve imagined you would and now this experience is adding to your thoughts whenever you start to think about your future self. Remember that your future self is always rooted in the present you and that your future self does not benefit from obsessing over it. Long term planning IS nice but when it comes to personal development you should leave your present self enough wiggle room to find enjoyment and to develop or reject ideas in the here and now :slight_smile:

The thing(s) you’re avoiding but need to address in that context:
Two of Cups.
Cheesy, yet necessary: balance. You’re avoiding (or have avoided) a certain kind of balance in between two extremes, two sides. It was either one or the other for some time now but the card suggests that - in your case- both aspects have to be integrated with another. It must have something to do with your future vision about yourself; it was either “this” or either “that”, with no room for uniting these aspects to one new and more fitting form.

What is making you feel different or at times not connected to the people and environment around you
Justice in reverse
It seems as if you had to take the blame for someone elses decision or vision for you/your future. You seem to deal with a load of prejudice now because of this past situation and it made you lose your trust in this person or the environment this person is connected to. (parents/teachers/a circle of friends, etc)

What could make you connect straight back to your environment and its people
Four of Cups in reverse together with the Hierophant in reverse
This one comes with a little catch.
Your decision to come out of your inner turmoil and stagnation will challenge some peoples traditional belief systems (mundane, religious, morally), it WILL ruffle some feathers along the way. If you decide to see the abundance of beauty and opportunities in your present self (remember not to chase your perfect future self) you will meet new people and you will see new places that will automatically connect to you.

Where to start with breaking old patterns or habits that don’t serve you anymore:
The Fool in reverse
Don’t let the fear of a possible “not perfect enough” future self hold you back from continuing this journey of yours (the journey from the first prompt). You will make this journey anyway, as far as I can see. Enjoy your present self, let it make its experiences, let it learn, let it face the good, the bad and the ugly, let it cringe about yourself in the future, let it be proud about your achievements.