Okay, so im gonna vent a little (sorry for wall of text) and ask for your insight / tougths
When do you say “It’s been enough, i need to quit trying, i need to change my goal or just simply give up on my current goal”?
I’ve been trying several ways to attract an specific person to me, i’ve seen minor changes with some, i’ve seen no change at all with some other ways of magick, but overall nothing has worked entirely, i’ve not adquired what i wanted and it’s starting to wear me down.
I started reading about magick and the different ways of it just some months ago, i’ve tried to learn, i’ve ‘done’ evocations and i’ve 'done´spells, none with a strong tangible result.
Thing is, when i started to get into magick, i did not so specifically as to attract this specific person im talking about, but as a different way to fulfill my goals (in general) and to get what i want, i told myself i would fulfill all my goals, regardless of the way it had to be done.
My emotional distress comes not so much because of the person im trying to get together with but the overall failure in all my procceedings.
The issue is that i´ve got so fixated on this goal of adquiring this person that it is really making me unable to give up. Yes it does give me a little bit of emotional distress the fact that i “can´t” have him, but not as much as the failure in my rituals themselves.
My question is, when has it been enough? when should i just give up? There´s this undying voice in my head that whenever i think of giving this goal up, says “There´s more ways to try, there are more demons to communicate with, you could´ve done much more, you´couldve expressed more emotion in your rituals” and it goes in hand with my intrincate tought belief that if you try really hard that if you keep trying, that if you are consistent you will make it, that if you " ask you shall recieve".
It might naive of me … or maybe im just plain stubborn, but regardless im scared, im scared of spending more energy and time on this, im scared that i will spend a whole lot more of time to end up with nothing but bitter feelings because of my “failure” to adquire what i intended.
I know theres a lot of issue with obssesive tougths but i try to find a balance, my mind is not about this 24/7 , i’ve gone on several dates, i work out, im keeping good grandes and keep up with my half time job.
Thank you if you did read and i would love to hear your insight and tougths on this.
The JOS website follows the school of thought about doing a magical working many times. The Italian hermeticist Kremmerz was of the same opinion, recommending to not stop, because (he wrote) the magician risks to see the opposite effect.
In my little experience I came to a conclusion which is that sticking to a result or an entity ( hoping to not bother that entity ) would reverberate on future operations: more skill, more power. Perhaps stopping one time may be done. But with even only two goals (when another one is chosen), either the old or the new is the more likely to be obtained.
I’m not saying I have the solution but…MAYBE… I have the solution. You touched on it too. Stop trying. Seriously. Completely forget about it now. Move on.
Everyone will tell you not to LUST FOR THE RESULT. You’ve done all you can. Stop lusting for the outcome. Let the magick you have done work. Sometimes magick does not START until you STOP. This is pretty easy for those magicians who have been at it for a really long time and have been successful. They work the magick and then go about their business KNOWING it will work eventually. This may cause some backlash but this works for really devoted and sincere Christians too. They pray for a result and then do the “let go and let God” thing. They believe 100% the outcome is on the way and they simply go about their business and focus on other things until it comes.
Additionally, he/she may sense your intentions. And whether they are doing this consciously or not - they know they have the upper hand since you are the one pursuing them. Whether you openly pursue them or are merely putting out a “vibe” unintentionally - they know on some level that you are. When you all of a sudden stop pursuing them and appear not to care anymore - they will notice that too and want to know what happened? Did you find someone else? Did they piss you off? OMG!!! Did they become ugly overnight? And they will want to know the answer they can only get from you.
Again, I could be totally off base. But I am 56 years old and have played the game you described since I was 14 so…good luck.
I think if this one objective makes you feel like a complete failure then I think you need to take a step back and then taken another mf’ng step back and realize the amount of effort and dedication you putting into this, along with your ability to be creative and passion driving you to make it happen, those things shouldn’t be discounted too easily.
Can that be put to better use? Certainly.
Personally I don’t believe in putting this amount of dedication into a person whom might not even show interest. Do you speak to him? Apart from magick have you attempted to seduce him yourself?
Take it from someone who studies seduction, the fact that you have chosen to believe that you can’t have him is the very carrot you’ve placed in front of your own face that is making you obsessive. You are most likely building up fantasies as well contributing to all of this. This is age old trickery.
Speak to the damn guy , find out his limitations, if you don’t fit his sexual preferences - you just have to accept it. Maybe you can be friends? Not what you want? Study seduction then and combine it with magick. Create hordes of slaves, whatever, the world is yours but seriously stop being a cuck for this guy it is cringy asf and Goodluck!
@fapa79 Well i do have the same Opinion … to keep working until you get it, to not give up, i have yet to chose a choice.
Do you have any personal experience? i love to hear those, if you don’t mind me being nosy .
I could indeed take a break, or as you suggest focus on another goal (perhaps another person) , thing is i would have yet to find a person i find interesting enough to spend energy on magickal rituals on. Thank you so much for your comment!
@Chip_Evil You know, all that you’ve stated ive tought about, about me sending intention that he picks up subconsciously, wich maybe makes him raise his defenses, i’m unsure, its something we cant really prove. And yes ive definitely have had those moments where you stop focusing on something and it comes right back to you its annoying cause even so sometimes you dont want it anymore. I did stop communicating with him too no texting and no talking, but mentally i keep spending energy on him, i gotta admit that not as much as before. Maybe i should focus on ending this “phase” about being fixated on this result, there are meditations for that, thats the issue with me, i’ve got to have something on my mind, some plan or some goal, something to be working on.
And Tbh i dont think youre that off base, all information is appreciated and specially all experiences, getting that broad view , different points of views is always great. Thank you.
I had success with a few baneful workings, another time I desired a coffee machine and received an email offering to test it. I wasn’t able to take that opportunity, anyway I add that I watched a recent video of E.A., who explained that one has to turn a desire into an obsession (if it isn’t already so) in order for it to be enough important; then, entirely consume it in one single ritual (looks like it may be a long operation, if required).
So, this is a possible way to go; I found that explanation helpful, enlightening.
Yes. I believe EA Koetting ( and others) have said that you need to exhaust your desire for the result you want in the ritual itself. So that outside of the ritual, you are not thinking obsessively about it and you just go about your business, trying to forget you ever performed the magick. It’s hard yes and I also struggle with it. But if you’re holding on so tightly to your desire for a result, you’re blocking the energy from going out and doing what you need it to do. In one or maybe a few of the Gallery of Magick books, there are spirits you can call on to help you with the releasing the whole lust for results thing.
In the new book I posted about in another thread- Lucifer and the Hidden Demons, thete is a ritual with Lucifer for speeding up time and bringing about the conclusion of a situation. You could maybe try this and see what happens…
We actually kind of have a “past” we have talked in the past, we have had sex, and if i did try to message him he would answer, but doesn’t show much interest (kind of) sometimes he would, like i said , sometimes with spell i would see slight changes in how he talked to me.
I know details are very important and knowing them changes a lot what people might answer to my post, but i believe that if i go detailedly into details i’d wouldve been an ENDLESS post, and getting way too specific and kind of tedious to answer.
I did stop talking to him ,since like i said he wasnt showing THAT MUCH interest and was i wanted o make him himsel show the interest, not me trough talking to him (i dont know if you get what i mean?)
Yes I get that but to be fair, what you’ve shared now does paint an entirely different picture. It seems like you are already at a point of assessing your self respect. By no means am I going to say these things to motivate you, however I’ve been in positions where I’ve completely thrown self respect out of the window just to get what I want. Not every one is a win but the lessons are invaluable, the kind which nobody else can teach because it is unique to me.
In this case however, the woman showed no immediate interest, we communicated on and off, my desire for her also became erratic but was still very potent none the less. A year later we randomly talked and she stated her desires for me and was willing to play 2 player co-op. Was I expecting it? Yes and No. Giving her space to process everything on her own without my intervention was important and I knew there would be a conclusion to this but I had no expected outcome. I on the hand, was in a different head space and just wasn’t interested anymore. Why? This answers your original question. People change for one and time cannot be bought (the ultimate grounding tool for these sort of things imo) , I’d rather be doing more important and much more fulfilling things anyway.
Whatever you choose however, be mindful of rewarding yourself from the small shifts you see after doing magickal work. You have to use schrodingers cat principle here when it comes to people, simply because psychology and sociology isn’t an exact science. You are also attempting to marry 2 subjective fields, magick and psychology. So expect it to be difficult. Also regarding the statement I made about rewarding yourself after magickal work, this is the foundation from which brain washing is born.
@fapa79 it is entirely enlighting and i would like to go that way, its just like i said im a very stubborn person, my energy barely runs out, even after all this time its just starting to wear me down and its been months, to completely exhaust it, itd have to be completely obssesed 24/7 for some days then … but tbh that would be too harming to me … i might just do as you said, and take a break, instead of focusing on him … i will focus on giving him up, and after sometime this desire to get him will dissapear (i’ve done this several times way before i got into magick, i know i can do it) … sigh.
Thank you so much for your answer
@Lillith_fan It is very hard indeed … its consuming tbh , and funny you said, ive tried with like 3 books of gallery of magick, i did read magickal seduciton and demons of Magick, most recently im reading The Djinns one (forgot the exact name, but have not performed any ritual there, i might use one of the spells there to get myself out of this situation instead TBH)
I will definitely check the book you mention, in the Djinns i mentioned theres aswell one ritual to bring a situation to an end … might as well try that one since i have the book already hehe.
Thank you for sharing
Wow , first of all im sorry, i wrote the reply just as i was falling asleep and TBH i dont even know what i wrote it barely makes sense.
Completely, i believe we learn the most from negative situations , i myself have thrown my self resepect out of the window for romantic interests in the past, but this one is not the case im keeping it cool on the outside, and respecting myself reason why i stopped talking to him.
Yea… you know i’ve been thinking about these a lot lately , hence why i even made this thread … and the idea to give up was present, as i stated it is wearing me down , and the healthiest thing for me to do would be to quit it. It’s kind of hard to accept due to the fact that im the type of person that tries and tries till gets something done but i guess, my learning here is to learn to do whats healthier for me. I’m not saying im completely QUITTING this objective right now, but im gonna start on seeing things differently and slowly shift to letting it go.
ust like Chip Evil said above, sometimes stopping completely talking to them or just completely getting them out of your mind helps, wether it is for them to be confused why the sudden loss of interest or just cause you get to have other tougths on your mind and stop worrying so much on the situation itself, its a win - win stituation. And if anything had to be out of you and the person they will realize it and will happen after all. A little similar to what happened to you.
And if what you mean is just leaving it to the possibilities that there are and being uncertain of wich one is the one “happening”, it is hard being uncertain of things, but well … after all everything is uncertain but death itself … guess its a thing i have to learn to accept