Im sure some of you have already been down this road of thought, but for those that havnt, I figured this could be pretty interesting.
I was recently doing a working with Dantalion, discussing goals I have and how they can be achieved with minimal interference, and he brought to light a problem Ive had for some time, which led to one of the most interesting conversations Ive ever had with and entity, corporeal or not.
A while back, I had an obession with trying to see the forest from the trees, to see the “biggest” picture I could. This led to me seeing the infinite and paradoxical nature of our reality, which led to more problems.
See, after this lifetime, what more is there for a person to do? Hypothetically, lets say you do everything right in the ascension process, break free of reincarnation and you become an ascended master, what then? I imagine for a being of that vibration, the next step would be to strive for some form of higher dimensional godhood.
Ok, so what then? We exist in an ever-expanding, infinite fractal, so no matter where you are on the ladder, there will always be entities that are of a higher, or lower vibration than you. There is always room to go up, room to go down, and room to expand, so no matter how far you have ascended, there is no “top”, youre always in the middle! (This realization helps out quite a bit in evocation, btw) So this means that “god” or any other multitude of beings, while they may understand more about their surroundings than we do, and have far more power over things, they ultimately find themselves in the same place we do, asking “Why? whats the point of all this?”
This is where I got myself in trouble, because If I could find no point in reality, I could find no point in my own existence, and therefore, no point in doing anything at all. A very depressing state of existence, but also very strange, because while I was wallowing in my own existential crisis, I still had this desire to live, to explore and pursue further understanding of truth, even though in some sense I understood it was all futile.
So this is where Dantalion changed things a bit. He said, “yes, it’s all a paradox, but why is that a bad thing? A paradox, by definition shouldnt really exist, and yet it does, with EVERYTHING as proof! Not only are you living in an impossibility, but you ARE one! We ALL are! This is the greatest miracle, and so few are even aware of it. It has been said humorously many times that “point” of existence is to figure out what the point is! Since you have seen that there is no “point”, this puts you in a position of power. Instead of merely existing within the creation and being put subject to its forces, you can be OF the creation, and begin contributing to it in ways that you see fit. Similar to living in a house most of your life, then later becoming an architect. A child playing in a sandbox does not torture himself ceaselessly by trying to find a reason for his playtime. He simply appreciates that the sandbox is there, and uses everything it has to offer to increase the enjoyment of his experience. Goals are temporary, but experience can last forever if you let it. That is not say there is no understanding…there are beings far older than any entity you are aware of, and they have spent eons contemplating and exploring the nature of existence, and have come to some extreme conclusions…but you must realize that within the infinite, even these wisest of beings will still ultimately find themselves in the middle. If you wish to chase your tail and pursue the path that these beings have, it is your choice, I merely ask that you not treat your existence as a burden. Instead, view it as a gift. You need not know who gave you the gift, or even why…just know that this gift is incredible, it gives you infinite chances to experience anything the imagination can bring forth, so enjoy it! It matters not HOW you use this gift, so long as you DO use it!”
So…yeah, this little convo has really helped my mentality over the past week. Ive stopped my little pity party of “unnnh everything is pointless, this sucks”, as well as treating my life like a choose-your-own-adventure book, where If I turn the wrong page Im scrambling to go back to how I had things before. Now, its just a long adventure! I still care about the repercussions my actions have, and I do still aim for sucess, but in taking away the need for everything to have a purpose, Im finding that Im enjoying life ALOT more, appreciating the little things and taking time to smell the roses…it really is amazing that anything exists at all, and bringing that level of fascination into my magic has REALLY set off my rituals as well. Now that Im not so attached to outcome and Im mainly just curious, things happen much quicker! Hopefully this will help some of you as well.