Well. If you believe the candle is “speaking” to you, then I guess the best thing to do is to speak back to it.
In my opinion, you’re getting yourself way too deep in details and you forget the reason of performing the ritual in the first place. Candle is peaking or the shadows are dancing… so what? A spirit is there? Wonderful. Then get to business and talk. Tell the spirit what you want if that’s what you’re waiting for and doing all those spiritual gymnastics to achieve.
I suggest you start by taking E.A’s video courses first then try getting him to mentor you. You’ll get much better results this way. I suggest his “Black Magick” course, then his “Evocation” course, and last one the “Divination” course.
If you already did, and can’t wait for him. Then try contacting C.Kendall :
He mentors members as far as I know, and they’re reporting good results from his techniques. I’m not responsible of your results with him tho. I’m not in anyway affiliate or partner with him, I don’t even agree with what he does but he’s close to EA’s style and teachings in magick and helps members very well …
Please research him here and try to understand his way of practicing magick, and make sure it’s something you would feel comfortable with before you contact him for mentoring, hopefully he won’t be too busy. Good luck