First of all, I should make it clear that this is in no way an upbeat post. It is really rather sombre.
It is about the reality of end of life. So if you are feeling a bit delicate then you might not want to read it.
On the other hand, it is something that we all have to face at some point and maybe there is something here you might find interesting. There are a lot of aspects discussed on this forum that showed up in the video below. The video is descriptive, real world, scientific and yet leans towards being spiritual, with lots of things spoken about that relate to so many of the things we read around the forum.
Besides, one day you will want to know.
There are many posts relating to what happens after death but it seems not that many on what to expect at close proximity to it, on this side of it.
The reason for this post is that my dad’s death is coming very soon and I am trying to prepare myself for what is to come. A kind of pre-grief grief is what I have been going through for a number of months now.
Old age and ill health has taken it’s toll on him. I have seen him suffer declining health for about the past eight years and he knows his time is up. Just this evening I realised I haven’t really spoken to anyone about how I feel about this and since I found this video, thought it might help someone else here to understand the process when it is imminent and expected.
At the end of this video, Peter Fenwick says “We are all going to do it (die), so we might as well learn about it.”
He is a neurologist and has made many studies over the years on the phenomena experienced near to death and leading to what is experienced at the point of death. Some of the points he makes, I think will be of interest here as he explains the common experiences found by interviewing people at the very end of their life.
The video is an hour long, so in short, some common experiences to be expected:
- Deathbed visitations/visions of the previously passed, also spirits or angels. Sometimes these visions have been seen by the relatives and children.
- Light seen glowing then fading (by the relatives) at time of death.
- Relatives getting the message in dreams or by sensing something.
- Birds appearing and staying at the window of the patient.
- Overwhelming happiness at point of death.
- The noticeable requirement to let go of the attachment to all that has been known.
- Drifting to the ‘spirit world’ and back before death comes.
All the above and more are the experiences found in common with everyday people.
And it seems to be a spiritual experience even for people who may not have any spiritual leaning.
I wonder what my dad experiences of this, apart from his obvious physical pain. The last couple of times I’ve seen him, he drifts in and out of sleep and not able to say more than a couple of words so he wouldn’t be able to tell me even if I asked.
Although his smile when he opens his eyes and sees me is the most amazing sight. That joy and shared sense of wonderment of being with him is something I have not known since I was a boy.
Perhaps I should or could be asking for something from this wonderful community here, but for what, I do not know.
I would like to give him comfort. I have asked Raphael to give him comfort but only really asked in a casual way.
This is a strange situation for me to be in. Should I, could I try to bring some spirits in to this situation. What would he think or feel about that and would he know? Would it freak him out? Would that be imposing on him and should I just let him be in his own natural way?