Sheer desperation. After 40 years of Major Depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, I figured “what have I got to lose?”
First magical working was to see a woman wearing red shoes. I saw five within 20 minutes of launching it.
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It was a mixture of reasons really. To make a long story short, here are the three big ones: my grandmother who I was close to was into folk magic, I had a personal curiosity that egged my exploration, and frankly I was tired of trying to use systems that were not working to deal my inner demons. It has been a bumpy road full of victories and defeats, but it has became a big part of my life.
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Hmm, honestly ive always just been drawn to it. I was raised in a christian household, where we actually believed god exists and everything in the bible was true. Mainly just curiosity, kept drawing me to learn more about the demons mentioned in it i think. Reading of the miracles and such mentioned, made me first look for how i might be able to accomplish these feats myself somehow, which then lead into wondering if i could do other things as well.
hmm my first rituals were all basically elementally based as well, after reading a book on candle love magick, and about various cults and their beliefs, and learning what i could find out through the encyclopedias and dictionaries we had to piece together common knowledge about magic. I’d also read history books on the greeks and roman religions and practices, looking for more information to find that spark that was magick in it. My rituals were pretty simple lol, basically I’d draw a circle on the ground, either rubbing the carpet to make a circle in it, or a few times i actually got out chalk and marked it out in the garage. Then I’d bring bowls, each holding something representing the element it was associated with, and set them in the four cardinal directions. Sometimes i’d stand in the circle, and sometimes i’d stand outside of it lol, but the basic form of it was the same, where i’d call on the powers of the elemental spirits, and direct them into the circle to collect power, combining them and then sending their combined power out once i had finished directing my will for the spell.
I connected with nature as well in those days growing up lol, honestly i still do but its been a while since ive been able to get out far enough into the forests. But yeah id meditate some in the beginning, but after i got a job i learned to do walking meditation, where you maintain the state of meditation, while walking somewhere, which always brought and still brings both interesting and new perspectives and experiences.
As i learned more, i got a copy of the grimoire for the apprentice wizard online back when they had the nook app for mobile, and ea’s books as well, and just kind of kept reading and practicing, refining my understanding of magic. Lol just remembered, I had also gotten a copy of Crowley’s Book of the Law online somewhere, which was pretty mind blowing, but really helped to reinforce the idea of practicing magick ethically in my beginning.
Magick is pretty fun tho overall, I think that’s the reason i do it, or at least one of the reasons. It just feels so amazing to summon a spirit to assist in something, or to converse with them about their realms and answer questions as well as i can about this one too. Even spellwork without summoning a spirit is fun, feeling the power you’re channeling coursing through you as you reach the zenith of the ritual, then letting it race out like a bolt of lightning to its intended goal, coming back and collecting yourself, thanking the spirits, and sending them on their way.
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Desperation.
In 2003 I was stuck in a situation that there was no way out of. I had always been the black sheep and never believed in traditional forms of religion. I always questioned everything.
I started looking up witchcraft. Thats when I discovered Wicca. I read up on it for a few months and tried out a few things. Realised it wasn’t for me. Then I stumbled upon “Satanism” the first page I saw was JoS. I won’t comment further on that. Then I soon discovered OFS Demonolatry. That’s when everything clicked. I was still shooting in the dark.
But I performed my first Evocation in 2004 to Duke Bathin. At that time though I didn’t see or hear anything I did feel a very very strong presence. That was it. No signs (maybe 1), no dreams and then BAM in 1 month I had what I wanted. Exactly what I wanted. It didn’t happen as I expected. It happened as a series of events and all the things that were stopping me from achieving what I wanted were first worked out so that the end goal fell in place.
It was nothing short of “magic”. I was dumbfounded. That’s when I realised this stuff works.
Heck I didn’t even use a legit ritual then. I sat in a salt circle with a black candle and read out the Bornless Ritual with the spirits sigil in my hand 
. Offered blood, stated my request, stated what I’d do in return and closed the ritual. That’s all and it happened. It must be noted what I got was practically impossible to achieve without Demonic intervention. So I credit Duke Bathin for strongly cementing my faith in the LHP and Goetics.
I practiced for a few years and then life happened and I stepped back from everything. Dabbled with other LHP pantheons from 2013 to 2016. Then I was practicing Zen and Traditional Spiritualism of surrender and letting go. Didn’t feel at home anywhere except the LHP. So in 2021 I’m back on this path all guns blazing. Evoking a few times a week.
Also pineapples do go on a pizza.
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Well first, thank you all for sharing some of your backgrounds and experiences with me! It’s really inspiring 
and I loved reading through everyones!
And secondly, I appreciate all the advice I’ve gotten from this thread! It’s really nice hearing how your paths helped in your lives.
@Kindraathe
Yes, pineapples do go on pizza. Good taste good taste lol.
@sanaRo
Listen… I have someone I would LOVE to watch fall apart:eyes: you are truly an inspiration 
🤌
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I guess at this point, to prove my own self wrong.
That is, I am tempted strongly to throw in the towel and move to atheism, but Im stubborn like this, so I will try everything.
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“Settle thy studies Faustus, and begin to sound the depths you will profess.” I was fourteen, in 1963, and the Faust legend just sort of grabbed me.
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Welcome @drpsionic It is a rule of this forum for all new members to properly introduce themselves, so PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick, such as what you practice, how long you have practiced, areas of interest, etc:
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I’ve always believed in the spiritual. Then found new age stuff and eventually learned about lhp.
Then wanted to prepare myself for life after death. So I started building up my energy body everyday as preparation for my soul’s abandonment of this body.
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Spirits manifesting around me, so much so that I was able to catch them on camera. I seen orbs, 10 ft shadow beings, Beelzebub manifesting in his fly form, etc.
If it wasn’t for me seeing them and then catching them on camera, I won’t put much value in any of this occult stuff.
Zen
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Just trying to connect to something… Even though I’m happily married with kids and all that stuff, in regards to the world, I’ve always felt like an outsider looking in, I’ve always felt disconnected. So I’m trying to figure what I’m disconnected from, to make sense of this world.
Magick seems like a good place to start.
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When a preteen I wanted to have those powers that would make you appear and disappear at will, levitate… At the time I made on my own accord the assumption that, through magick, physical immortality could be achieved. Also, an idea which I found again when I delved into E. A.'s “stuff”, was evocation equating to omnipotence. Again, both this and the manifestation by the entities taken quite literally: spirits popping out from nowhere, possibility to even resurrect people, etc.
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I’ve been drawn to it my whole life. I tried magick in various forms, but they were never for me. Finally, I found what I’m looking for with the LHP and chaos magick.
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Thanks for this! I also have a baby and a wonderful partner BUT I do feel like my life is lacking sometimes which of course brings the mom guilt 
so I’m hoping starting on this path will help with that. Good luck on your journey and thanks for sharing!
Again thank you everyone who has taken the time to share! I suck at replying because my baby hates my phone lmao but reading everyone’s posts are making my day much better! Appreciate all of you and your willingness to share
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I just want the money, respect, and power. I don’t like playing the game, but if I’m playing, I play for keeps!
It’s all started with a dream and then finding resources and plans to achieve it.
If you fail to plan you plan to fail.
Magick acts as my road map to bigger manifestation and a completely new life.
I do my part and read certain topics for success and take action when necessary!
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Catweazle. Back in 1974.
Al.
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I few a sigil (I think…) Phrased “How did I get so good at Magick?”
A chain of events followed that had me studying every book I could get to save the situation. It turned out better than I thought it would over a span of a few years even though it was “so close” the whole time. I dove into study and practice like it was the only thing that could save my sanity. Because it was
Be careful what you wish for, also try that sigil when you have too much going on to care about it.
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What made me start practicing.
In my late teens and early 20s I felt so small and overpowered by life that I wanted to change the game, change the dynamic. I didn’t want to respond to whatever life threw at me. I wanted to be in control, to be in the driver’s seat.
I wanted nice clothes, good cars, nice places to live, hot chicks, enough money to be comfortable. I wanted these things but felt powerless to aquire them.
Then I took a chance got dropped by my RHP teacher and evoked Prince Orobas. That was a total game changer.
Sure life has bumpy at times but I’ve always prevailed and a great portion of my success I owe to the influence of Prince Orobas.
21 years since I started this journey now I do have the nice house and temple, good clothes, a vehicle, a good looking gf and enough money to be comfortable.
I didn’t get a degree or go to school for it, I manifested it with will one step one move at a time.
I guess the biggest reason I started practicing though was I saw a world full of unfairness and injustice and evil, and I wanted the ability to change what I thought was wrong in my life and those I cared about.
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For me, it because I really had no other choice but to walk down this path in my life. My relatives want me to continue on the family name which is something they consider quite important. But because of my shyness and such, I realized that I would need all the help I could get. And several years after that lead me to a forum about the occult where one of it senior members told me what he consider as the strongest love spell of them all and ever since then I been hooked in the field of the occult.
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