Hi, I understand in E.A’s book he mentions the darkness as a force formed and fed by humans. Is that right? I’m trying to understand HIS darkness compared to my thoughts on it.
I wish to start the WOD exercises and need to understand the nature of what I am looking for. To me darkness in general has so many different forms and feeling to it. Some feel good, while others… not so much.
Is it like what I consider death energy? I have a monster to feed every now and then and I read or look at stuff that most people would rather not. So I know how they make me feel when the monster is fed and the curiosity is sated. At first it’s exciting, and educational, and an adventure into darker areas of life…and then…ugh. No more please.
So is it one of these feelings, all of them, or not even close?
The quiet sad depressing feeling you get when you see too many pictures of dead people, like momento mori, or read stories about death like on findadeath.com. Too many of those, and I start to not feel to good.
The chaotic uncomfortable RED feeling I get when watching senseless slaughter like Helter Skelter, or The Amityville murders? You know, just blood everywhere, a chaotic evil gross dirty feeling?
Is it like the cold paralyzingly terrifying malice of an evil spirit that has infested a place like a house? Like the feeling you get reading too many evil spirit haunting stories?
Is it electrifying, energizing, and exciting? Like a feeling of being powerful, and in control? Having everyone on puppet strings super bitch type feeling?
I am serious about doing this right, but I have experienced what I call darkness in so many forms, I don’t know which E.A is referring to.
I would guess cold malice, but would like to make sure so I don’t link up with something off topic.
I also have a hard time fearing it. I have tried without a load of success because trying to relax and remember all these steps in a meditation just distracts me, but it is something I want. Maybe I have experienced it many times before on the mundane level, and seek it out, and respect its importance in human experience? Maybe there is too much familiarity and respect for fear to be a factor?
I also have a side to me that craves it. I can’t have it 24/7 or I’d go mad, but I need it on some level to stay sane and whole. I feed off it, in the form of horror movies, true crime, pictures of murder and death, autopsies, stories of psychotic patients, curses, severe hauntings, executions, you name it, I’ve probably seen it.
Maybe that’s why I feel a shift in the room’s energy, but I’m not repulsed?