Did you know that you don’t necessarily have to dive in at the deep end to get results? I read in your introduction that you are currently in a situation where you cannot use some of the items to perform some of the rituals.
Well, many people don’t use any items at all other than following instructions from a book, where everything happens in your thoughts completely privately.
There are a lot of beginner friendly books with rituals available with good information on how to approach things and help you understand “what you are getting into” and how to do it safely.
If you have kindle on your phone or computer, you can read the first few chapters and catch a bit of insight for free from some well respected authors that lots of people on Balg have bought books from and continue to use.
There are lots of discussions on here about books from the Gallery of Magick, who by the way have a series of ritual books (Words of Power) that are aimed at getting results without calling on named spirits.
I’m saying this because you say you are new and you perhaps might not have thought of other options that are generally good for getting into the learning curve and getting results as well.
Of course it’s all about processing available information and feeling your way into what you find comfortable doing.
Since you have some concerns, you might want to look at some easy to use ritual books where the sigils are ready made and can be used within the privacy of the book itself. No one else around you need know what you are doing.
Also perhaps take a look at pathworking books, available for working with angels and demons, books that give you access to enochian energies that create change.
There are plenty of ways to do magick with and without spirits that don’t require you to buy, make or use implements that may get found by other people around you.
I’m not knocking ceremonial magick practices at all but there is a lot you can learn about how to get results without letting others close by know what you do.