Were You Drawn To The Occult In Childhood?


#1

Hearing about E.A.'s pull to the occult as a child reminded me of my own attraction.

My family was not religious or spiritual, although they certainly had roots in it in their own childhoods/upbringing. When I was in 2nd grade my grandmother took me to an occult book store (for what reason, I have no idea). I remember a strong feeling of belonging and surge of interest/energy as soon as I walked in the door and smelled the incense smoke, saw the floor which was inlaid with a huge pentagram (at least it appeared huge to me as a little child). I was utterly fascinated. After that I took an interest in fantasy books/comic books that featured sorcerers and magic. I would draw an old Marvel character called Son of Satan, and my mother would scold me for it.

In third grade, I moved up north and we lived with some Christian relatives. Every once in awhile, my aunt would take us to a spiritualist retreat to, I guess, gawk and point fingers at the ‘evil Satanists’ as we drove through, but I was equally fascinated with the place. But hearing about real life witches definitely piqued my curiosity. For me this meant they weren’t just stories.

I never understood Christianity, and I was always doubtful and unattracted to it, even as a young kid. The stories about guys going to talk to the devil and coming back with white hair and in shock was pretty entertaining and scary, but that was about it.

Around 4th and 5th grade I was, by then, a voracious reader, and I began checking out any books I could find at the occult at the libraries. My reading comprehension was good, but not good enough to understand everything I read, but I learned quite a bit. What really frustrated me was that all the serious occultist books were reference books and you had to be an adult to look at them. These were books like Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler. Keep in mind, I lived in a very small, hick town that was lucky to have a library at all. Most people were religious and went to church a lot.

Eventually in my teenage years I started listening to rock and metal, and would take albums like Motley Crue’s Shout at the Devil, the LP of which unfolded and had a big pentagram on it, and we would try to do rituals that never really went anywhere except to scare us a bit that we were going to go to Hell or something (lol). Then I got my first Tarot Deck (Rider/Waite) and started doing readings for friends at parties and stuff (nice parallel to E.A.).

Some time ago, I started to journal all the experiences I could remember as a child that were strange. From shadow figures at my bed leaning over me to several instances of displaying some measure of psychic power. It surprised me, looking back, just how many experiences I had had. I never realized just how many weird, supernatural experiences I had encountered until I began to remember them all and write them down.

Anyway, I always kind of knew that this was in my blood.

Did you guys have the same pull?


#2

I would like to say I’m 10th generation line of witches/warlocks/druids etc but absolutely nothing from both sides of the family. In fact neither sides have any interest in any religion.

Always had the pull (no idea where it came from) but suppressed it in favour of the mundane especially as I didn’t know anyone else. I’m letting free the inner pull thanks to the internet before then I was put off by the Golden Dawn high costume drama.

Looking back during a period of high stress, my psychic senses opened up for a while which I took in my stride and thoroughly enjoyed. Alas it it blossomed only for a few months!

Now I drunkenly lurch on the path trying to regain what I lost whilst the inhabitants of the celestial realms collectively roll their eyes:)


#3

I have learned from my ancestors (and verified by talking to living family members) that my direct line were gypsies who were heavily into folk magic and reading tarot. A few generations ago 3 brothers made up the patriarchy of my family 2 of them converted to the LDS Church in New York and followed Joseph Smith and B. Young out West. My line is from the brother that stayed in New York and kept up the folk magic. He was the owner of a prosperous fishing business, which his children squandered. My grandfather converted to the LDS Church and moved west in the 1960’s.

I was born in the LDS Church but I was always fascinated by magic and the occult. My ancestors were pulling me towards it I am finding out about some issues we had/have and I am working to take care of it. This last Summer I succeeded in breaking a curse that had been placed on my family (They actually allowed it to happen, so they kinda cursed themselves) and now I am trying to “Move on up”


#4

Yeah, sure! My parents are from Haiti so Vodun was always lingering around. Also, we’d get books from esoteric stores.


#5

I don’t know if I had any “supernatural” experiences as a child. If I did, I have no memory of them. I became interested in the occult after watching ‘Ghostbusters.’ It may sound silly, but I became fascinated by the idea of using technology and science to investigate the paranormal.


#6

When I was somewhere betwixt the ages of 7 and 9 I woke up one night to a strange vouce calling my name down the pitch dark hallway. At the time we lived in an ild brick apartment building in the forests of rural wisconsin. Around the same time I began unintentuonally projecting into lucid dreams and waking up to vanishing whispers in the room. Later on I saw spirits visibly in the room with me upon waking in the middle of the night. I’ll for sure always wonder who that voice was though…


#7

Cool story.

When I was 5/6ish, I woke up and saw what looked like someone standing beside my bed. I stared at it/them/whatever a second, half asleep, wondering if it was my mom or grandmother. Then it leaned down towards me very close, and I could see that whatever it was was darker than the room around me, so I got scared and ducked under the covers. I was pretty much scared to death, but eventually I fell asleep. The next day I asked them if they had come into my room, but both of them stated that they had not. It was interesting, later in life, hearing the many stories of other people who have experienced the same thing. I was fairly perceptive as a kid, and I was pretty sure it was something real and not my imagination.


#8

I grew up with my mom being a witch, she practiced traditional witchcraft and later went Wiccan as I got older, my dad was into Tarot, runes and Astral Projection. I remember watching him do Tarot spreads and being facinated by the images (his go to deck is the Cagliostro deck) and telling me what different runes meant. My moms side always had a lot of religious people especially my uncle and grandparents who were Pentacostal ministers from a long line of ministers. So I got a lot of conflicting views growing up lol.

My great grandmother was apparently a West Virginia mountain witch as I got to hear stories of her praying over people and wild crafting herbs and stuff for her family and that got me drawn into the rootwork aspect of magick along with growing up in Georgia where there’s plenty of people who talk about “putting roots on you”. So yeah I’ve always been drawn to the occult especially the darker stuff as it was far more interesting when I was young.


#9

nice topic, I feel very related to many

Yeah, totally atracted to the subject since I was a little kid, yet it was difficult to gather information because here in my country esoteric stores are even more hidden than sex shops, and even tho we’re already 2013 sex shops are still viewed as “depraved shops”.

from my family I can say I don’t know of anyone interested in magick although my grandmother from my mom side has always healed people with odd methods and from that same side, I had a uncle, not blood related, who was married with my grandpa’s sister… they lived in the country and people used to say he was capable to transform into a “snake” (here we called “culebron”)… funny thing, once that uncle was very sick and ther was a snake going around their place, people knew the snake was inoffensive, but I was visiting with some relatives and another uncle didn’t knew anything about it, so he sees the snake and killed right away, after that my nor-blood-related uncle died in less than an hour.

I’ve been dreaming, and lucid dreaming with taling snakes, snake people and snake related dreams all my life

I have had experience since childhood, the first time I saw a ghost stainding next to my bed I thought it was my little brother so I was going to squeez his cheeks but I kind of soak through the kid face and became terryfied… later I understood it was an OOBE.

but even before that I would be interested in magick, I was kind of the leader in my class so when we were little I’ll always convice everyone to play something related to magick, being wizards, or suck them into the paranormal, calling ghost ot playing with improvised ouija boards

in my early teens my relation with demons grew up but I tried to distance my self of that once after highschool, yet I got into entheogens and shamanism… after that I started with spiritual healing and now I just want to go fully into the path of the Living God


#10

It’s been a pull for a long time. my first experiences with the occult were before I remember anything. I had night terrors a couple times that my parents seriously thought I was being possessed(they would pray and it would subside). on of my first memories is seeing a shadow person walk in front of my door. I had experiences like that all through childhood, and in my teens. It’s like a calling that kept pulling me farther and farther into the darkness. I started out studying Christian demonology then slowly got into vampirism. from there I made my out into the occult world. looking back I don’t think any of the shit I got into really mattered, it was just there to get me here, where I am now. Whether that was my subconscious trying to align me with my “true will” or some external guiding force is beyond me.

It has been an obsession even before I knew what I was obsessed with. the desire to push further and further out. I have struggled with madness because of this. I have been shown the worst parts of my character via experience. I’ve nearly shattered my mind from my journey. and honestly I wouldn’t haven’t any other way.

Because of all of that, I am here. I’m smarter, stronger, more experienced than I have ever been, and I know that it’s only going up from here.


#11

Yep, my father used to read a lot of mistery books about Saint Germain, magazines of the occult, and he gave me a book of Lobsang Rampa “The silver cord” when I was 13 or 14.

At 14 I got Modern Magick (spanish version, El Gran Libro de Los Rituales Magicos) plus a Rider Waite tarot deck, as recommended by Donald Michael Kraig and there I started my magickal journey :slight_smile:

It’s really a fascinating subject


#12

I never had a choice, really. Growing up, my father was a mortician and funeral home director, and he owned a funeral home with an apartment attached on the end, where we lived. As a 4-5 year old, I came in contact with many curious, lost, or even malevolent entities as I would wander around and play in the chapel. One particular memory that sticks is when I went into the casket display room, and both doors on either side slammed themselves shut, the lights went out and I immediately felt hands brushing all over me. I screamed at the top of my lungs which brought my parents running, which later led to a scolding about how I wasnt supposed to be playing in there.
We lived in Alaska at the time, and I used to love running out into the woods and exploring for hours on end. I crossed paths with many non-corporeal spirits out there, but I dont remember actually interacting with them too much…more that they were aware of me and vice versa. There was one instance where I was 5 and I fell into a stream out in the woods in the middle of February. There was noone around for at least a half mile so I was pretty well fucked. To this day, all I remember is a loud voice telling me to stick my arms out straight and keep my head above water. I did so, and felt something grip me under the armpits, and the next thing I remember was tromping up to my front door through the snow, completely soaked, and my mother freaking out and worrying that I might freeze to death. I was completely fine though.
A few months after that, my mom contracted viral pneumonia, and spent several days in critical condition in the hospital. She never left, and at the moment of her passing, my father instructed me to hold her hand and look in her eyes, which I did. She said something to me, which I cant remember, because something indescribable happened to me in that moment. As the life faded from her eyes, I felt a very strong force wash over my body, strengthening and empowering me. It was so powerful and induced such a change in perception that nothing in that moment bothered me whatsover. My dad was sobbing after just watching his wife pass, other relatives were the same and the doctors were crying too, but I felt none of that. I was completely and totally aware of what had just happened…but I was completely serene. In that instance, I went from being a typical 6 old, to being a shaman in a child’s body. I understood everything that had occured around me and was not sad, I understood that a milestone, not just in my life, but in reality itself, had just occurred, and that I had some sort of responsibility to stay strong and not lose myself in the emotional turmoil surrounding me.
Ever since then, Ive always had a strong connection to all things spiritual. Ive been told that I have “a very thin veil”. There have been times in my past where Ive tried to shut it off, and just live a normal, mundane life…but theres a force out there somewhere that just wont allow it. Every time Ive tried, I end up with a friend who needs something banished from their house, or I get visited by guides who make me aware of the mistakes im making…so a few years ago I just sort of accepted my life as it is, and things have gotten much more interesting and enjoyable!


#13

It is in the blood fellow companions. As simple as that.


#14

Yes, the spirits forced me into this way since i was a little kid until I realized what is magic, spirits, etc.


#15

When i was 5 years old i have stolen a book from my mother intending to sell it so i could buy something i really wanted, when the man in store said to get away almost knocking me down i was surprised i just wanted to sell the book…when i go meet my cousin, because i was going to buy what i wanted with him…he’s like…ohh man where you get that book ?
Why i asked him…
Because it is São Cipriano, it is magic, it is freaking scary take it away from me…
Oh okay i said, i will take it away from you.


#16

When I was very young I used to play at being a wizard, casting spells or making potions or whatnot. The sorcerer was always my favorite character in the movies and cartoons I liked. My cousin had a book on witchcraft which I was fascinated with, even though I couldn’t read yet. When I started using the internet a lot around 10-11 I learned about Wicca and was surprised to find out that there were people practicing real magic, although I was somewhat skeptical. Also around this time there was a shop in the antique mall that sold incense, candles, herbs, and stuff like that which became my favorite place to shop there (I was there a lot because my mom also had a shop). They sold these candles with instructions on how to “charge” them for various goals, and I got the money one, charged it, and soon after received $30. Doesn’t sound like much, but it was the highest amount of money I’d ever had up to that point, and it made me realize that there might be something to this whole magic thing. Then around age 12 I found the Necronomicon and Satanic Bible at the mall bookstore, and I left the Wiccan stuff behind and it all spiraled from there.


#17

I did not chose “magic” it chose me.seems my bloodline coughs up one of note every century or so.I often wonder if I am blessed or possessed, then wonder why I care.What is, is it would seem.