So I find that when i Meditate I feel as if something is stroking my head like a soft touch either on my head or my arm or the back of my neck. I am currently focused more so on the Wiccan path. So far its an interesting path. There are somethings i am finding I have issues with but I am working on that. I started my path more so focused on black magick and trying my luck with different demons none of which i was ever able to build a firm relationship with. I was baptized catholic and i find that my mind always goes to the worst case and i become paranoid about anything and everything. I was raised in the church and i guess i am not sure where i stand when it comes to my religion. I know i have not been to church in years and i have been practicing different forms of magick. I have been able to sense spirits and at times it freaks me out and at other times it doesn’t. I noticed my spell work has gotten stronger well a lot stronger. I have called spirits into my rituals not any particular one but just any spirit and have had great results. I have reached a point where i am not sure if i am good or evil. I know i do not wish anything on anyone. But I do have some of the strangest thoughts when i am meditating and as I am meditating I can constantly see what looks like a brick wall and grass but i cannot make out anything else. And i always get a feeling of complete despair. And I have to open my eyes and look around quickly. Thank you for hearing me out and any advice is appreciated.
I know how it feels to try to deprogram christianity out of the self after years of it.
For me, I took the Satanic route to destroying my old religious hang ups. I began by blaspheming yhwh as often as I could internally. I spent a week in a sort of internal reverie, trying to break down concepts like an infinite god or his “mercy” or what have you. After the week was up, I deliberately blasphemed the holy spirit in a ritual. The sin most commonly held as utterly unforgivable, I chose to do it so I’d know, beyond any doubt, that I could never go back to yhwh.
Since then, I still occasionally find myself with some problem or another, like the death throes of my old faith. I know now that it’s behind me, and that in the company of demons I’ll never have to interact with yhwh again. Hope this helped.
Hail Lucifer, Hail Seere!
That sounds like your energy centers are really kicking up, IMO, but…
Are you banishing after calling on random spirits? I would. I really really would.
thank you so much. I am still working on a lot of situations in my life but I do know that I will an can accomplish any task with hard work and dedication.
Blessed Be!
I used to not banish them. But after reading and studying some i began to call them forth and then banish them back to where they came but I make sure to do it in a polite manner as to not anger the entities.
Smart.
Then it could definitely be the meditation waking up aspects of you. It can come in many forms. A touch or caress, an itch is common, panic attacks are sometimes a symptom because it is a foreign (sort of) sensation to your body.
Also, depressive thoughts or vibes are not uncommon when meditating regularly. Whether your conscious mind is even aware of it, the act of meditation can be like intense psychotherapy on a subconscious level. The process of self mastery and improvement is not always enjoyable.
Most importantly, though, you are getting results, and you seem to be encouraged to dig deeper. Awesome!
I am definitely going to dig deeper. I want to learn all that I can about myself. I want to learn all I can about the craft and different aspects. I want to learn about all the deities I can. I wanna become fluent in a few different languages. I first need to figure out how to heal my body from these spells I have been casting as I seem to be getting muscle aches and pains. started in my neck and it seems to be slowly working its way down my body which to me seems to be weird. But with magick is anything truely weird ? I appreciate you talking with me.
Blessed Be!