[quote=“Lady Eva, post:17, topic:6754”]I understand, I really do, but I’m going to tell you something: I’ve agreed to channel Varnaxis on the 23rd, and I’m going to do it (barring some bizarre freak stuff) and you know what?
I’m kinda dreading it.[/quote]
Bizarre freak stuff?
Firstly, I don't enjoy partial possession except with a very few spirits, and the energy of Varnaxis' Dark Master isn't (no offence) one of them - He feels like a tornado made of burning oil and black jagged smoke just to be in His presence.
Very interesting. Well a number of years ago I was Dreamwalking and I went through a Portal and met what I believe to be a Dark Master. I think he was testing me. Anyway, I experienced this black tornado of energy and there was something watery about it… it burned but was freezing burn. I passed the test by using a special power. I think the test has to do with going up against such an energy and seeing if you either are destroyed by it or integrate it so you can pass the Gate. This Dark Master are what I called the 4 Guardians of the Gate.
Secondly, Varnaxis was a human very recently, and being possessed by any remaining traces of ANY other human, having them inside your mind and body in a way that makes sex look as remote as being penpals, is always a weird and itchy experience, as much for me as for anyone else.
Any more details to share on this? Also I found the word “itchy” quote intriguing. My intuition says that something magickal is happening when things get itchy. It is like being poked with a needle of energy like a sharp jab, to moderate puncture of a fang to something very light to only feel as multiple itches. Then there is also the staticky tingling feeling as if one is being shocked.
Thirdly, I have massive "does my bum look big in this"
=)
Not because I'm superhuman, or tough, or uniquely confident, in fact I'm an idiot and have at least as many flaws as anyone else - I'm doing it because [i]I want the results[/i], I want power, and I want as well to be part of Varnaxis' work, and to bring him to people here so they can converse with him where they may otherwise not be able to - yet.
Well… to some at least I have this feeling that there is going to be a number of changes (for practical reasons naturally). Some will be Trial by Fire, others Trial by water, and then of course Trial by Air (I put that in for the Tornado).
People who treat magick like a hobby (and I'm not having a go at you qwyzl, just speaking generally) get hobbyist kinds of results: people who treat magick like it's their lifeblood get life CHANGING results.
Whether its a hobby or “In Your Blood,” personalizing everything you do is what gets you better results, because it becomes a natural part of you. =) Its pretty much all I think about as far as magick goes.