@Snow88 No, you are not alone. Although I grew up in a two parent household, it took me a long time to realize how dysfunctional and toxic my parents are. I was brought up not to question nor speak my mind. I was my mother’s “doll”, so to speak and she dictated pretty much every aspect of my life. My father was detached and unapproachable as he was deep into alcohol addiction. To keep the peace, I went out of my way to be nice, which as an adult, also transferred to my romantic relationships. I didn’t stand up for myself nor demand respect because I didn’t want any discord.
I’ve had two longterm relationships, both leading to marriage. Within both marriages I was physically, verbally, mentally, and financially abused. Both men left me for other women. I felt unlovable thinking how much my husbands must have loved these women to end our marriage. I too have felt unlucky in love as I’ve allowed myself to be taken advantage of in several relationships. Upon self-reflection, I’ve realized that I’ve been so focused on being nice to others, I haven’t been kind to myself. With that said, I’m working on myself by setting hardcore boundaries and figuring out what my non-negotiables are. For the moment, I am not currently seeking a relationship. I’m having fun casually dating, meeting new people, and having great sex. And let me tell you, it’s been a revelation. As @QueenMustang said, there are many good guys out there.
I’ve been working with Belial, Sitri, Sallos, and Beleth. My self-love and self-worth has skyrocketed. My best friend mentioned how much I smile now. I look back at old pictures and she is right. The quality of men I’m meeting has improved because I have improved. I know it sounds like a cliché, but when you start to love yourself, that energy is put out into the world and people with higher vibrations are drawn to it.
Remember, it’s one thing to be nice and another to be kind. Don’t “nice” your way into being used and tolerating bullshit. Time is one thing we can’t get back; spend it on/with those deserving.
Big hugs.