Been in a relationship like that for 3 years and i can never get that time back but it has shown me how much i’ve been missing. It never got better for me it only worsened and i am pretty emotional dead now from it. But life goes on man 
. Overall it is your choice, maybe try morrigan. She could help you see her side for better insight or vise versus. Definitely wouldn’t hurt to truly know what she thinks of you.
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On the contrary it would probably hurt a lot more if he knew what she really thought.
I tried seeing from my ex’s point of view too, only made things worse.
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Yeah it is double sided I give you that. Definitely a hard choice but on the flip side if it works on the opposite ends and she can see his side maybe it might change things? So then you wouldn’t have to worry about knowing what she truly thinks and have to bare that burden.
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I had a similar scenario…it won’t work on the flip side.
I chose to see it from her side, dug myself a hole.
Should have left when I had the chance, Lilith got her out of my life, Belial showed me early, I refused to accept what was happening and when I did, it was too late.
I’m still working to pick up the pieces and the damage she has caused is already astronomical to say the least.
If he’s got a friend of hers telling him that she’s gonna call the police because of him, her stories are already spreading.
Just as my ex was doing right under my nose for years…and I’m still working on getting out of the trapped state she’s got me in. Just the same, I was aware of what she thought of me in the end and part of the stories she was spreading, destroyed me.
Am I stronger for it? Sure. But will my life recover from it…that’s another question.
I was almost emotionally dead too…Azazel helped build me up in that department though.
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Ohhh - so usually what could be the possible difference - in regard to Shem and free form evoke?
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Well the Shem method uses Shem angels to constrain/support a Goetic spirit in the carrying out of its charge. With angelic supervision and guidance the Goetic spirit will perform it’s task within the boundaries they set.
With the free form method the Goetic spirit is free and unfettered to choose the way to manifest the charge in its own best judgement and according to its own modus and perogative.
Both methods have pluses and drawbacks in my mind. Probably however the Shem method is the most common and safest.
I was told by a spirit that some Goetic spirits resent angelic supervision, some couldn’t care less, some find it helpful. Up to the Magician to decide what’s best.
I personally use freeform because that’s how I learned it and I’m satisfied.
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Interesting.
Yeah being fettered would feel irritating and less powerful maybe - I wouldn’t know from an entity’s viewpoint
Though - if the caster specifically wants a certain outcome to manifest - regardless the goodness of their intentions - it should manifest going by free will execution. But that’s just me and I can be totally wrong and insensitive.
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You think you could of built yourself back up? Reason I ask is, I never sought help and still don’t know if i will. Personally I feel i can handle but i know i can’t. Alot of damage has been cause and i still feel trapped as well. Only time i don’t feel trapped as bad is if i am working.
Sure, if you assume whatever entity you’re working with has no will or intelligence.
Some say they have no free will and are supposed to help humans (very summarized) which can circle back to their intelligence knowing they aren’t helping and either don’t, or give you something else that actually helps.
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Yeah because some situations are like this:
You work in retail(demon). you want something from the back room that’s way up on top of steel pallet racks. You could easily climb the steel and get the inventory you need, with slight danger. The back room supervisor (Angel) won’t allow the unnecessary risk and threatens administrative action if you take it.
You’re grumpy you have to go find a ladder instead of doing things the most efficient way possible.
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That’s a very good analogy.
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Yeah the bureaucracy in that analogy is probably why a lot of angels fell to begin with.
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Bureaucracy sucks, I can totally see why they’d get sick of it
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Oh I’m still damaged, don’t get me wrong, suffering C/PTSD and looking after my daughter who also has C/PTSD as a 3 year old, so recovery is a must.
Yes, I have built myself back up to a degree and recovery is possible, there are worse days than others.
I know recovery is possible, because I dealt with people like that all my life, my mother was a narcissist, and my last 4 ex’s were narcissists too…the last ex being the dark triad/tetrad variety.
I recovered from the first 3…it was difficult.
I kept getting sucked in with the last ex, trying to save the relationship (largely due to our daughter) trying to see it from her side and wanting to see the best in people, wanting to believe she could change, but it was never going to happen.
Is there a 100% recovery? shrugs There are few days I don’t see myself being happy and recovered though, just keep working towards it.
That’s why I said, via experience, the best advice I can give to @_Z.7 is run while you still can.
If you wanna continue the convo @Wumbats, better to PM
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Paranoia to me is a red flag in a relationship. I’ve had it with my one paranoid ex. He wasn’t talking to anyone, your ex actually sounds saner than mine, at least she is talking to other people even if she doesn’t want you anymore.
Its very tempting to save a relationship, especially when there are children involved, I mean, people do want their kids to have a mom and a dad, but if mom or dad (or both cause they stayed together) is too messed up to function, then it is not good for kids.
I think a big part of sticking with someone is the whole sunk cost fallacy, that well, you put so much into that relationship, so it will be too hard to start something new, all the people who you will have to weed through whos goals don’t align up with yours etc. Well, they probably left you anyway because you were simply a poor match up that didn’t work out.
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On the other hand
Some people are just not great at boundaries and other people naturally are
You see it constantly on here where people become dependent on and religious about their attatchments to various entities and it becomes the entity in charge rather than the practitioner who simply becomes pushed around and potentially manipulated
@anon25000386 seems good at boundaries whilst maintaining respect and has been on his path for a decent amount of time to have developed skills for it to be safe for him to work this way
For someone like myself, the idea of giving any room for things to do as they see best in my journey… isn’t something I feel confident I would manage to keep my authority at this point working that way
I barely feel connection with demons but I want to go ahead anyway… bringing in a system such as a union of power allows me to relax that I’m safe, keeping my authority and I see it as providing a boost towards what I want to experience in my journey. I’m more confident in the results than I might be otherwise.
Any entity who’s pissed off about that - rn isn’t one I should be allowing free reign in my business anyhow
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Boy do we ever see this…
For beginners I’d recommend going with the method as described in the DOM. That employs the Shem method which is safer i agree on that point.
Another Balg member summed up my philosophy in two words. “Respect and authority”.
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I truly wish you the best. While I do not mean to get in the way of your goal, she sounds very abusive and it’s never easy to go through something like this. Take care of yourself, OP.
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Update: I feel like the blown was softened every time she tried to talk to me.
Also been meditating on the sigil of the here recommended spirit to make me appear trustworthy and I invoke him and ask for that every time before talking to her. (Thanks Great Duke Uvall )
Somehow she is listening and appears to be looking inside herself, apologised for things, said she thinks she can trust me and admitted to have been gaslighting me and mistreating me.
That is too good of a response for such a short amount of time. Maybe Great Duke Dantalion was already working on it ? I really hope things keep going in this direction…
Ok, I know this part may make no sense for some, but a black moth appeared yesterday ( been living in this house for 20 years or so and have never seen that around), and it is drawing my attention a lot, I’m pretty sure you guys know the sensation when something is telling you something…
Today as soon as I left my room the moth flew in and I decided to post here, and as I write this post, it flew to my feet and went under my bed.
I don’t know what to make of the moth yet? Any opinions ?
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I just saw a thread just now about someone who was working with Duke Sallos and he appeared to her as a giant moth that watched her. So maybe you could try contacting Duke Sallos. He’s very good at inspiring true long term love. If she is changing it might be worth a shot idk.
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