Light dawned on me, on the topic of money.
Its about stewardship in the Churches and Temples. Why should great riches be ours, if we cant responsibly handle the small stuff?
Saturn spoke to me I think. Since he sits in my seventh house of Taurus, certain things are tedious and seem impossible. I guess I should look at it like a layaway bill and fess up to it paid in full. Then maybe I will catch a good break.
I have tried, given to others without hesitation financially not expecting it back.
Unfortunately, I am still trying to come out of dependence from others and trying to come to grips with my reality. That is, I borrowed, I need to pay it back while paying it forward, and that will be the hardest of it all at this poiunt at least. I still wait for the sword of Damocles to fall on my head if I dont square it up quickly.
Hope this makes sense to someone out there.