For the past year, I have been working with Belial on a ritual to achieve ascension. Part of the ritual process involves me reciting a chant in a specific part of my city every day. And little by little, things have been working.
Right now though, I’m low on energy. My mood is pretty crap; it’s like another one of my depressive episodes, except ten times worse. I feel extremely touched-starved (which is surprisingly common for people in my area), lethargic and lonely. I actually considered hiring a professional cuddler and started crying while reading over potential clients. I also feel like I’m going crazy. I keep questioning if anything is real. I also get the feeling that something is wrong with me but I don’t know what it is.
Usually, this would be a good time to start grounding, but I’m worried that by doing so, I have to start over in my ritual. I’ve been reaching out to Belial and I can’t tell if anything I’m hearing are his words or just my own thoughts. I keep hearing two conflicting things: “take a break” and “don’t stop”.
What do I do? Should I take a break and ground or should I buck up and continue the ritual? Every fiber of my being is telling me to stop for a bit, but I don’t want to. I feel like stopping now would just undo everything I’ve done for the past year.
Any help or advice is appreciated. I feel like a huge fucking mess right now.
To me that makes complete sense. Take a break, but don’t stop. Take a break and then continue.
What I’ve noticed recently for myself is how different states of awareness brings up stuff you have already cleared.
Continue working on yourself when those negative thoughts and feeling pop up when ya feeling crappy.
That can and will shift you back into your power towards your end goal.
The powerful you.
Remember those times when you’ve been confident and clear headed and you will shift back.
Those two statements, “take a break,” and “don’t stop,” are not mutually exclusive, because taking a break does not have to mean stopping all together. It can simply mean cutting back on the quantity of what you are doing, but not ceasing all together.
So, if you are chanting every day, try cutting it back to only 3-4 times a week. That keeps up your momentum, but also allows you time to recover your energy.
Maybe try ASMR, it can induce very similar effects to touch, the personal attention and physical feelings.
There are masses of these videos on YouTube, it’s worth finding your triggers and an ASMR artist or two you like. Even if you were surrounded by people, they may not be available at 3am on a Sunday morning when you need that human contact.
Tl;dr is a combination of sugars and fats before a big piece of work was really effective in increasing my magickal stamina & energy (but, obviously not sustainable for ongoing work), then coconut oil afterwards, it has some properties as “brain food” based on research from dementia patients.
Maybe adding some coconut oil into your diet will help? These stopped me crashing after doing a lot of work, and the coconut oil especially helps with sustainable energy.
So, I use that when doing heavy work over long periods, and butter as well, and if I have something big planned, I use canned condensed milk made into a syrupy drink with 3 or 4 yteasponns of white sugar (which I would normally never touch, I’m usually <75g carbs a day).
Also, make sure that the drive to keep pounding away isn’t based on an unexamined belief that if you stop, you’ll fail, that’s not good baggage to carry. I speak from experience there.
I dont ground intentionally anymore, currently in my life, I live in perpetual depression, not necessarily because of the majik, but I’m sure it doesn’t help.
Best thing I find is a walk in nature or along the beach, it will naturally take the edge off you, or a hobby like painting where you can focus that energy into.
PS I want to add some context here, because we live in an era of fads, after the great carnage of the low-fat deception left everyone wondering wtf was even good to eat any more… so, people may read this and be like “ew lactose ew table sugar.”
But if I had written about some mixture of ghee and honey, it would suddenly seem a lot more “mystical” and traditional, right?
Milk, and products derived from it, features literally and metaphorically in a lot of ancient Hindu scriptures, and so there’s also that context to consider.
Which leads us to examining what has been considered sacred in the past, foods like liver, honey, ghee, all packed with nutrients. And yes fasting is also a viable thing but obviously not over prolonged periods, and not if you’re still actively engaged with the world, and mean to stay that way.
Anyway just wanted to drop that in, personal experimentation is good IMO, I have definitely benefitted from doing that.
Seriously, don’t demons typically send someone to fulfill the request. I don’t know about other people, but I thought it was a thing they often do. If a demon isn’t doing it, you can request it specifically.
You can take a break and come back to it.
So what is that working about? Seems you are moving quite a bit of harmful energy
I understand sometimes we might desire something with all of our soul, but in these critical times you gotta question yourself if it’s worth your effort or you should take another way and forget about the subject, mainly for your mental/physical health.
Ascension is melting physical consciousness with Solar consciousness, which is a nice goal, the marriage of the Queen with the King, and the return to Unity.
But I think he’s talking about banishing obstacles.
As the op nick is The Prophet I advice him to check his birthchart and Saturn natal position to check what’s his purpose in life, plus his North Node as it may reveal the areas of life which may fulfill him
