After months of pondering, I finally decided to act upon my idea to start an online journal here.
I will be uploading some entries from my physical journal, as well as some other discoveries and new lessons.
The title is a reference to this song, which resonates a lot with me:
This song is a great representation of my life (as of writing this post), since I always seem to be willing to continue, no matter how exhausted I am. My close ones always came first. Thus, I could cast five spells or more to help them, regardless of my physical, mental or spiritual state.
However, I have decided to focus exclusively on myself for a while.
Sunday, August 8th, 2021 was the turning point. Music and magick have maximum priority.
I cast three spells:
- Freedom from the limitations I had imposed on myself;
- Abundance (already seeing the results);
- A more personal spell I cannot reveal yet.
“[Tonight], I change the end.”
I have learned a year and a half ago about my spiritual lineage.
Although I know they are here besides me, there are times when I do not feel my spiritual family members’ presence. I need to work harder on my abilities; practice makes perfect. Connecting to this family is what I must do.
There is no work that cannot be accomplished for he who desires to succeed.
“He says: “Son, to save their lives, you must take the life of one.””
A gnosis from Belial
A few months ago, while discussing a few things with someone, Belial made a snarky remark regarding offerings. He then proceeded to give me a vision while teaching me interesting things about tea.
Belial: “Hah. I would rather have tea.”
Me: “Tea… Why, this is unusual…”
At this point, Belial gives me a vision of him and I sat at a table, enjoying a cup of tea, albeit only allowing me to see his arm around the cup and his hand on the table.
Belial: “Tea is one of the most potent spiritual drinks. It unites every natural element. The leaves from the Earth are the basis, the Fire boils the Water, which then infuses the drink. Once it is ready, the tea liberates the aroma through the Air and starts to soothe your spirit.
For a few weeks, now, the name Liu Bei has kept coming to my mind. This does surprise me, since I feel much more connected to Japan than to China. However, it is possible that I have to explore this country’s history as well, since the pull has seen an increase in its intensity.
Until I can fully dive into the teachings of the Chinese emperor, more work has to be done.
Rise above (with Belial)
One of the first messages I have ever channelled was one from Belial.
He ever so kindly told me: “Stop being a little bitch”.
Ever since, I have started changing from being a kind magician to quite the ruthless executioner.
Of course, this did not happen overnight. After being subjected to narcissistic abuse for quite a good portion of my life, I had some hard work to do to get back my power and self-confidence.
Belial, being the harsh teacher that he is, has shown me how rotten some people can be, especially when it comes to young and fake occultists. Thanks to him, I know that, while it is tempting to start your journey with other people who are also interested in witchcraft, it is often a bad idea. Many of them just wear spirituality as a badge to decorate their ego.
These people will do whatever they can for you to give up on your power. They also wish to make you feel like you are weak, invalidating your discoveries, gnoses and results.
That is why you have to seek and reach your power from within, and reject the invalidation of LARPers and other narcissistic practitioners. No matter how strong the seed of doubt they have planted in your mind may be, know that Belial will be here to assist you in getting your power back.
“They want you to give in. But you gotta rise above. Rise above.” — The Megas
Another quick success
Last night, I had an idea to add another layer to a series of spells I have been hired to cast. Although my previous spells were more than enough, this one felt like the icing on the cake. That one tiny little add-on that could, in the end, been the entire working had I thought of it in the beginning.
Long story short, I called upon Beelzebub to compromise some food. Tonight, I receive one of his messengers in the form of a tiny flying insect (I can feel B’s presence as I type). I smirked as I understood that my request had been accepted and completed.
It also seems Beelzebub has more plans for me…
Yeah! And learn to brew it properly, in a teapot. Seriously, it’s the only way.
I don’t use sugar or sweeteners, just milk. I drink it from a mug.
Dream of the night from August 21st to 22nd
After the evening’s setbacks, Lilith and Beelzebub sent me a relatively intense vision between nightly rest sessions.
I was in bed, in my usual place, when I felt and heard two distinct breaths. One to my right and one to my left. On my right was Lilith, holding my arm as if to show her love and support. To my left was Beelzebub, almost lying down, but still imposing.
As I saw him dressed as Darth Vader, I quickly understood why Beelzebub had used this appearance. As the Lord of all that flies, he chose a humanoid appearance, but with fly-like eyes. He then sent a swirling breath into my ear, reminding me of an insect flying by my head. It was as if he was giving me power… The protection and benevolence of an uncle. I’m the bug inside you. I have your back to the wall.
Lilith, for her part, shows me that she is by my side and that she understands what I am going through. Me snuggled up against her, Lilith holding me close to her body… The mutual affection was unparalleled in its intensity. Survive the fall from grace.
I thus thank Lilith and Beelzebub for their support. Without them, I would probably be more alone than I care to admit.
Learning from within…
It is not always about practising or studying intently; it may also be about letting the knowledge flow. The information is already within you.
You have so much power. Why do you choose to hold it back? Why do you rely so much on physical strength when your spiritual power is limitless? Let it grow. Let it bloom.
Breathe. Just breathe. Your abilities awaken when you give up on trying to control them.
What went wrong…
Some time ago, I felt like my results were not meeting my expectations, especially when I took the energy I put into my spells. I could help everyone receive whatever they wanted, but I systematically failed at getting what I ordered via a spell.
After reading about a certain topic so many times, I decided to use divination to try to figure out if my problem was bigger than I thought.
Every time I spent time on social media, I almost always came across the topic of generational curses. Since I thought my protections were more than enough, I kept dismissing these posts. However, after taking time to actually think about it, I realized that I was maybe on the receiving end of such a curse.
Thanks to my most reliable tarot deck, I found out that I was indeed a target of a generational curse. I thus had to put everything I had into a ritual to remove said curse. (I come from an island on which curses tend to be quite awful…)
This was my longest and most intense working since I have started walking this path. I feel much better, stronger and lighter. I shan’t ignore any sign from now on.
Last week, an incident happened with Belial’s sigil and candle.
After carefully snuffing out the candles on my altar, I left the room and had dinner. When I came back, some tiny flames had started spreading on my altar, effectively burning Belial’s sigil.
None of the other candles lit back up, and the other sigils were untouched. I only had to remove Belial’s sigil, leaving a burn mark on the altar.
A few minutes after this incident, I realized I had completed my work with Belial. He and I had fulfilled our respective ends of the contract. He chose to go in a mild, yet fiery glory, which then forced me to improve my altar the following week.
When I looked at the shape of the burn, I felt it had a message for me. I understood it and accepted it. It was time to say goodbye.
While moving on is never easy when you feel intense gratitude towards a mentor, I had to let go. This was necessary for my growth.
Belial… You have taught me so many things. You have shown me how strong I could become. With your intense training, and the things you made me go through, I have finally accepted my true nature. Your teachings will remain within me.
The first words you spoke to me were harsh, but they were just:
“Stop being a little bitch”. — Belial
Thank you very much, Belial. You are the best therapist.
Love & Gratitude
In January, a friend came to me for a love spell. I thought it would be interesting if I put my power and work to the test in order to know how to improve my spells, so I cast it for myself as well. Thus began several days of evocations and actions in the physical world.
For this working, I chose to call upon Asmodeus as well as the six daemons from this post: A powerful layered love spell
Here are some visuals:
While up until now I tended to be quite cautious with love spells, this time I decided to just go with the flow, knowing I would learn a lot from this experience.
The results were much more intense than I expected. I knew these entities were strong, but I still managed to underestimate their power, especially when it is accompanied by my own energy and work.
Therefore, I wish to sincerely thank the seven entities I worked with, the original poster of the ritual, as well as @daNNY.9 who gave me the opportunity to experiment with my techniques.