So I decided to do several evocations today. Still I still havent been able to see the spirits yet… but I did feel a lot of shifts within me. A lot of the spirits asked me to give my hands to them outside the circle and I did and I started feeling a rush of power from them.
I went about my day and I decided to take a nap, and everything started from there. I started feeling like I didnt recognize who I was, like I am still experiencing a big sense of loss of ego and the problems that I had I feel like I dont have them anymore. But I started getting really concerned and started shivering and my hands started to feel heavy and I felt as if I was choking… The only experience I can compare this too is an LSD trip, which has been the things that has given me the most profound change in my life, but LSD is like very uncontrolled… This feels like uncontrolled but in a controlled way. I dont know if this makes sense.
But I am getting a bit scared, I asked them am I possessed and they said no, we are just with you and we are realigning your life. Its weird but I just feel limitless and the moment and fearless but I feel a sense of not letting go because seriously for an instant I asked myself “Who the fuck am I”? So much so that I had to see myself in the mirror to recognize myself again.
Up to this point I really didnt believe in magic to be honest with you. But after what is happening right now, I can seriously say this is the most potent thing I’ve ever done.
So how do I handle this situation guys, do I keep evoking? Do I just relax and let loose? What do I do?
Yes, it feels that way because you are not drugged, but the same thing that can happen while you take those drugs, is happening now, without the use of them…i kind of like the feeling of being drugged, but without it to be honest this is played at a much more serious level and things are more " intense ".
You don’t just keep evoking…you don’t evoke for… just evoking…you evoke because there is something You Want from the spirits you evoke, otherwise you are just playing with them and they are going to play with you.
There is no shame in taking a break if you need one. Just like in the gym, if you feel that you are at your limit you should rest. In my opinion it is better to back off for a few days if you feel like you need it.
Banish, ground and center, then chillax. You will be alright. If not, you are surrounded by magicians who can help.
I do have a question though, have you still been working with Dantalion? I noticed that while I opened his sigil and for awhile after my evocation I had some similar effects.
In your Dantalion evocation you mention that you requested “knowledge and power”, was it the same with todays entities?
I would only work with a single entity in this capacity, firstly to prevent being overloaded but also to try and have a scientific approach and perhaps see what you are actually getting from each spirit individually.
I would how ever continue to evoke for material manifestations. Or take a break, there isn’t really a right answer, only you know how much you can take. In my experiance the sweetest rewards come after these intence periods so I would probably push on.
@Orismen - Yeah, I worked with him again today but I also had several evokations so I dont know if this was precisely because of him.
@Soundwave - Yeah, I kind of did the same request for each of the spirits I evoked, but they all have different purposes so I dont think that their tasks is going to intervene with one from another.
I am ready to keep pushing forward, I just got so scared because I didnt know if I was making this shit up or if this was really happening or if I pushed to hard but I like to push myself beyond my boundaries so yeah I am ready to keep moving forward.
Just be careful too many chefs can ruin the soup. Personally I’d pick a spirit you gravitate towards and work with it for a certain amount of time and them build from there.
Whatever you do good luck and thanks for posting results.
@Soundwave and @ -TWF- I am going to follow your advice then cause if you guys are both saying the same thing and you are ahead of me then I will just use one and take it from there.
Just to throw in another aspect (from my perspective), as you wrote above:
"Up to this point I really didnt believe in magic to be honest with you. But after what is happening right now, I can seriously say this is the most potent thing I’ve ever done."
In that regard, you are encountering aspects that your system needs to integrate, until which the Pattern of “how things work” won’t click…
(not just “conscious mind” but the underlying structures of Mind, and energetic- pattern of the world, in the sense of "turn on a faucet to get water’ is over there, turn this way, water comes out, water is wet… etc… just as an ex… all that “related to water, and faucets” is part of knowing, imagine if part of that didn’t make sense- let alone almost all of that no longer clicks… and other things… how function?) Thereby read your comments beginning your first post comment, and perhaps see you could be describing “literal-shock-type” reactions… Thus advice above along the lines of assist/soothe and just “allow” your system to recover…
But as Aleister Crowley put it there is no stronger impact than encountering in a concrete way an Entity of which you were not previously “certain” of its existance (which Nate Bales/Gozer referenced in the EA interview re the Evoking Course, where he mentions Encountering an Entity in an Evocation in an Undeniable Way… “There is nothing like it.” - so many things can seem to come close, but when it fully happens, it rocks your world (and there are a few levels- first encounter seems one degree, but than after that has stabilized a while… a whole greater Concreteness of Encounter ripples even greater “world-rocking”).
To the extent of how to stablize: the Taoist-Energy Practice concept of 70% (doing only 70% as much as you can- stay relaxed and full- and over time, that relaxed 70% will far exceed your “prior” 100%… while trying 100% won’t, and even to the extent there is development, “what you practice, you become”… so PRACTICING (ie developing a Skill/Capacities, but Doing them) Practicing in a straining frazzled way, one becomes better at doing it “straining and Frazzled”…
just as many Experts can do very-powerfully, strong-quick, but they do it in a tense way and need to recover… so part of adjusting to over-exerting, but also working as fdbk… but there are these Critical Levels: major Encounters that “rock your paradigm” (Quantum-Psych: org-str integrations). < Luck >
