This is driving me bonkers

Hey all, I have a sort of unique problem.

See in the future I’ll be taking part in a ritual that will involve other people reading my mind. Don’t ask me for any specifics on what this is about as it’s something I’m not really supposed to talk about.

Anyway, my problem is that I’m trying to avoid using magic to do anything questionable before this, because knowing other people will be looking through my mind will just make me think more about questionable things i do, magic included, and in the case of the questionable magic things I am thinking of doing this would cause me to get attached to the results which would cause me problems.

But the thing is I’m just itching to try out some of my questionable ideas but I don’t want to if I’m just going to end up getting attached to them. Any advice in what to do in this sort of situation.

This one is a bit complex, so I’m going to break it down into what I see as 3 seperate but related issues. First, I have to wonder what would make allowing a group of people to wander at will through your Sacred Space WORTH IT. Nothing is more sacred, unique, intimate & rightly inviolate than your most deeply personal perspectives, ambitions & fears. Second, because the First is so, you are rightly experiencing ‘stage fright’ and I suspect this is the real reason you’re sabotaging your planned ‘questionable’ magickal endeavors with obsessive worry & frustration. In other words, instead of standing up to this pressure and rejecting that invasion, you are sabotaging yourself - convincing yourself that these results you desire are … immoral, perhaps? And third, you might want to take a step back and evaluate WHY you deem these plans ‘questionable’ … the reason I say this is you cannot violate your own belief systems without some serious mental/emotional backlash. Strength of purpose and secret shame cannot co-exist in the mind. Hope this helps; give it some thought.

I see Zoe has replied… I was working on this topic - and have said much the same… said a little differently…

I feel the attachement on several levels, but not all of them and in combination…

Obsession - in a combination…

Guilt can create a block or the sense of hypocrasy…

If you beleive that its justified then do it.

There will be a push back on a level you will experience - when the result occurs… that you will need to process…

The fact these magickal things are questionable - does that apply to what you think others will think? Or do you find this questionable within yourself… (As Zoe has posted…)

Well first of all, trust me when I say there is actually alot to gain from this. As traumatic as this expereience could sometimes be the last ones I participated in were more then worth it aside from a couple issues like this I’m pretty stoked to do it again as I have made more progress in gaining magic/psychic power by participating in these then I have anything else. But yeah in the past I have done stuff just as if not more questionable then some of the stuff I have planned and thought nothing of it because I didn’t think anyone would be looking in my head and seeing it. It’s not so much that I personally am morally opposed to this as I am afraid of getting some sort of backlash since I would form an attachment due to this psychological problem I have about thinking about stuff I know I shouldnt think about when other people look into my mind. The other thing is attachments manifest in a very special sort way during this ritual so I’m not in a hurry to create more of them. I dunno, something about that just makes me get attached to stuff more which is why I decided to hold off til this is over. But the thing is I don’t really want to hold off, it’s like a kid finding their christmas toys in the attic and they know they shouldnt unwrap them yet.

Hey, Defectron! Man, if this practice is working well for you (obviously it is) GO FOR IT! My next offering, in light of you expanding the details (thank you!) is this: I propose that every Mage - EVERY - ought have a Secret Room in their mental house! Some space that is UTTERLY inviolate… a safe, a ceremonial trunk, a tower room, a secret compartment … you get the idea. I call Mine “The Keep”. Discerning from what I’ve read of your posts, I believe you are wholly capable of designing & constructing such a place for safekeeping your “valuables”. We ALL have things we absolutely do not intend to share. Let Us know if this works for You.

This would be very helpful. Do you have any tips on how to make that? One thing that concerned me is there are certain entities I work with that don’t want people to know their true names. The feeling I get is they are understanding of my situation here though, and I dont think the other people involved would abuse the knowledge, but even so I would like to keep that out of other peoples view if I can.

I’d be happy to share how I constructed Mine, if that’ll get you started. (From what I’ve read, you’re highly imaginative, so this oughta be a snap for ya!)

I have a Mental House just like I have a physical one -complete with rooms that serve a purpose. A Castle. Its ‘where I live’, and most of it is open to visitors I invite - much like your living room, kitchen, bathroom. And then, out back, nestled in the trees behind my Castle, is The Keep.

I designed this Keep and I built it with my own Energetic hands - every stone, every Ward, every shield was put in place by Me. I’m conscious of every Topic I put in there - and Why. This Place is a Fortress and I did not rush the constructing of it … but you only construct it once. A worthy investment.

Now this degree of design & care may not be wanted or necessary for many of you - its just my example. I think an “Altar Room” with a Magickally reinforced chest or trunk - or even a hidden cave; a door or secret compartment in your House would serve well…

Happy Building!

Cool, I’ll give that a try. I also got a book about magic used by the hawaiian kahunas the other day, there’s actually a chapter in this that talks about techniques used to block mind reading which might be similar, I havent read it yet but I’ll post the details here when I do. Thankis for the input.

Glad to have something to offer; I just think you oughta be able to ‘have your cake & eat it to’ …

(Ever really LOOKED at that phrase? Why would ANYONE think having cake & NOT eating it would ever even happen???) Z