I am going to respectfully disagree with that: what OP describes are what are called “siddhis” aka supernatural, even godlike, magickal abilities.
These are found along the Right-Hand Path, when seeking merger with one’s own image of the All, and aspirants are told to shun them, as they get in the way.
A person can literally be healing the sick and finding lost items by clairvoyance, manifesting left, right, and centre, and seeing the future like it was on TV, and STILL be told to cease, and return to their studies.
This is only unbelievable if you’ve not walked that path, but I have (and posted about it) and I can also affirm that the siddhis in themselves can destroy people IF they’re just left to run wild. I suspect the extreme lows in the OP’s recent past were caused by the same energy that caused these abilities, and I say that because something like that kinda happened to me, years ago.
Magick is not a steady slow progression through enough reputable masters until finally, at the pinnacle, you can manipulate the physical world. That’s Harry Potter shit, moving the manifest around like w00t, you’re kind of a big deal.
It’s actually almost the byproduct of a half-suicidal, half-megalomanic, half-ecstatic spiral and dance and lurch and stumble and orgasm towards realising that you, and ONLY you ARE the All, ARE God - are a face, a prism, a shard of the God, and that the God is in you, is observing you, and permeates you, and finally, that you are also the All/God.
“Become a living god” is both a catchy title but also, it caught my eye because it’s the road map, and various types of magick are the different destinations along that route.
And everything about it is as full of paradoxes, messiness, and contradictions, as the three “halves” I just named, which no doubt caused a few people to blink! 
But while they sound cool, the “distracting siddhis” are just psychosis and self-doubt waiting to hijack you if you don’t go all the way, and can backfire, which is what a magickal burnout is.
Does this mean all magick has to be RHP? No - that realisation can be found through other routes.
Does this mean OP needs a guru, sackcloth and ashes, hours spent fasting? Not unless they groove on that stuff.
But just being able to play a few tricks with manifest matter doesn’t mean OP needs no mentor, or is lying, because having all your shit figured out comes automatically with magickal powahs. It REALLY does not!
By saying this:
… @Makkos is acknowledging something often observed on here: that most people want power to fuck others up, to swipe an app and delete anyone who makes them have bad feelings, yet they’ve not dealt with their own issues in any way, and would be completely unable to handle the world their own messed up psyches would create, if they operated at that level of creative power.
A lot of very reputable magicians have recommended counselling, therapy, and insight methods, so that when the mind gets turned up to full manifesting ability, it won’t manifest for that person (and their loved ones, and their community) the same self-hating crud that currently lurks inside.
So, I’m buying this - it seems like the kind of thing I’ve seen to happen to people on the RHP (and they can make it even worse by trying to renounce life, which is a whole other topic), fairly rapid onset of siddhis, which in themselves are pretty emotionally destabilising, and yet still needing to find a way to balance those out. 
I agree with this to some extent, though with large amounts of added caveats.
Anway thank you for sharing your journey, I found points I relate to and points that fit what I’ve also observed for others, and I hope you find your mentor soon. 