THE RED CLOAKED QUEEN BELETH.
Not always I am a bull who mindelselly attacks everything in front of me and disregard external events and even internal turmoils. Over the years I had accumulated a lot of “fuck you” energy and willpower.
It was the major carnival Sunday in cyprus which was the second carnival that I did not attended, frankly its always carnival here and especially for politicians. Furthermore since it was Sunday and I done pretty much nothing except than doing on and off studying as I could not keep myself away from it, my whole day till 5 PM was fluctuating from nothing to light work, this brought be inbalance within myself and I could not keep moving without integrating this. At this holy time 5 PM, I decided to do the king ritual.
I rejuvenated myself and aligned myself once again with my purpose, ground my being and let myself shine the god I am carving. I could not afford another failure, I lost too much by giving into emotional and mental fluctuations and truth is, that day that people went out to have fun and etcetera I chose to sacrifice it and be just like any other day. Even though i showed myself that this liquid is the nectar, I failed to realise that nectar can be poison too, it just depends by your current self. The problem was that the day was failed because of misuse meaning that I restricted good times for growth but actually just sat and walloped. How could i? anyways, my past sin was integrated and moved forward running eleven kilometers this time, throughout the run I had used my sigil of beleth to connect with her during my run.
Upon finishing it, I proceeded to do my yoga nidra practice to calm myself and meditate some more. I had felt the pull of beleth and as in the physical darkness around me became light up by her brilliant presence.
As I was sucked into the tunnel of darkness or more like as the spiritual energies began to manifest in the physical world, the rings of darkness were closing in and narrowing down which is a good sign of a heighted state of consciousness. i begun to notice the black flashing spark that I was notice during physical manifestation.
Queen beleth showed herself before me as a red cloaked figure whose face could not be shown, so the manifestation was more like a red cloak worn by darkness.
I integrated my shadow and I foresaw not the end of my suffering but a still point upon the fluctuations of consciousness. There I recalled what beleth told me in a silent communion with her that happens daily at all moments I am the wind of the storm these few words bear strong significance since they show the soft but powerful nature of this being that we call beleth.
The dark spots of my conciousness were brought up and cleaned by the same force. Your life is karmic and it serves its purpose to awaken your soul so you may choose a better afterlife for yourself, and moments like these literally make you or break you.
This is aslo a core belief in ancient Greece and india where one sought to fulfil his karma and χρέος (hreos, debt) in this physical incarnation. So literally the practical action that I took in order to clean myself of this Shadow and pay that debt was to see my pain, heartbreak and observe how this fucks me up, to see how much it drags me down to a round of finite potential and finally seeing it for what is: indeed nothing happened! It was only a sequence that played in my mind, this my friend is the Very nature of maya, a mental model of the world that holds weight only to you.
Brahman satyam, jaguar mithyam. As shankaracha said to summarise the whole teaching of advaita Vedanta. Brahman is absolutely real, the world is seemingly real (sequence of mental models). In this truth, I looked not the end of emotion or thought, no this is not the goal of liberation at all. Instead I Found a still point within me that I could freely flow in the world, there I was the wind of the storm. After this truth was realized and experienced hence burned or paid Beleth uttered:
The eye of god lives within the heart of man, who opens that eye of the storm is able to conceive him. The dragon Is angry because half of its treasure is stolen. The dragon seeks to devour because his treasures are missing. Offer him your love, promise and worship so that a inner god may rise.
These words act now as a victory lap over a relapse, something that other times of my life the opposing dynamic played. I would aslo like to decipherment the words of beleth:
First is the eye of god being seated in one’s heart, this feels literal because when live our purpose we act by heart just like when atum created the world.
The dragon in this story feels more cryptic as I reflect on this experience and it seems like it is the function of a heart that seeks to be fulfilled, and when it is not it becomes angry so id you serve it by loving yourself doing the things that you promise and living your purpose abd true will this dragon becomes fulfilled and tamed which in turn helps you to transcend the ego and its restriction so you may live a pure life.
Veril,