Yea I’m going to partially take Mulberry’s advice and chill out. I don’t hate him. I don’t want him to suffer forever. I just want him to go through some shit for a couple years or some ya know. I don’t have anything specific in my mind that I want him to experience or go through. More so things that would be super shitty from his perspective. I really like the AOW eliminate beauty approach instead of unleashing all this fucked up shit in my mind onto him. I kinda have a , some people shouldnt be fucked with cause they’re fucked up in the head, mindset at the moment. Trying to calm myself down and approach it from a more level headed perspective but man I’ve been exposed to to much 
I know I can fuck him up real good if I want and not afraid of backfire as long as he suffers too 
probably not the best mindset to have so yeaaa im chillin for now lol thank you for the advice I think im going to end up taking it.
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