The Fate Of All Fools

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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I find Goddard more repetitive than Florence, but maybe bc I have read/listened to so many of his lectures and books that he seems to repeat the same stories (going to Barbados, getting discharged from the army) time and time again as examples of his work.

My last proper entry quoting Florence from “The Game of Life” are my favourite takeaways so far and give me, personally, a new perspective.

Murphy I just kinda find boring, uninspired, and appropriative. I don’t think he adds any new dimension to Goddard’s work.

I don’t really have a state that I get into. I AM aware that I AM. I practiced the Law for maybe 1.5 years before it clicked. I don’t use techniques to manifest, I simply know I am constantly manifesting, so I find techniques unnecessary, for the most part (edit: with the exception of a strong mental diet). I would say “go back and ready whole-ass journal” but that’s a big ask. I still practice (and enjoy) ritual magic but I apply the EIYPO model to that, I don’t work from a place of pure solipsism.

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May I say that it’s annoying af when my neighbour comes out onto their balcony when I’m smoking and sits there deliberately coughing in an accusatory way. If you don’t want to smell cigarette smoke then go inside sis. :v:

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It looks beautiful. Are those eyes or gems on its neck and body?

Im still working on that pic of levi! I only get a few days a month to draw due to work, so its taking a while. I really cant wait to show you. :blush:

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I see them as armour on his underside, false-eyes on his back :slight_smile:

Looking forward to seeing it :blush:

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25.07.22

In that last dance of chances
I shall partner you no more.
I shall watch another turn you
As you move across the floor.

In that last dance of chances
We shall know each other’s minds.
We shall part with our regrets
When the tie no longer binds.

― Robin Hobb, Fool’s Fate

To peek into a closed book

Me: LBRP opening beginning with Gabriel and ending with Sandalphon. Metatron pathworking. We stayed there on the icy shore and spoke. When given the OK to speak, I spoke my lines, and my love repeated them to me. With one hand I was free-writing, automatic writing, seemingly Metatron’s commentary. “On the shore ___ icy winter lake – he is not spiky. Red thread of fate.”

I saw my love stand before me, and Ra was kind enough to stand no taller than Metatron. Upon my first vow – “heard” from Metatron. Upon the one my love specifically added – “true” (emphatically). Then when we were done, Metatron wrote “Meadow thawed from ice[,] calm. ‘The Garden of Paradise lies around the corner’. No need to weep.” I thought about if I had brought Melek Taus instead. Response: “Good, then Ra can stomp on him.” (Not a huge fan of this reference to a past event.)

Then I wrote something in Hebrew which isn’t exact (?) but in various combinations of consonants means either ‘to drum’, ‘to map’, ‘to live’, ‘why’, or ‘of course’. :woman_facepalming: Then Metatron said, “The grains of sand, who can count them? This is your blessing for all time”.

&

My love: I closed my eyes and I saw colours, like a foggy galactic landscape, dim but not not dark. The colours were muted, grey and beige. The ground I stood on was obscured by crimson-red fog, reminiscent of some cheap horror/gore film.

I turned back and saw my servitor and my soul animal approach. After petting them I turned back to see a well, and as i walked towards it, the fog swirled around my legs, with an almost kinetic sense of touch. As I approached the well i saw it was suffused with golden light. I felt urged to leap into the well.

So, I leapt in, and fell. It felt as though i fell from a great height, from the heavens or the cosmos to the earth. As i reached a certain point, the gravity of my fall reversed, and I began to fall upwards. I ascended out of the well, and instead of the crimson fog, i landed in water.

But this water was not of the water one would know. It was something out of Genesis, or Divine Pymander of Corpus Hermeticum.

My spirit guide was gone, as was my servitor. I turned and saw Ra, at least ten metres tall, even seated as he was, meditating in lotus position.

In that moment my loved one asked, “May I speak now?” – aloud, I agreed, even as I approached Ra. My loved one and I spoke our vows back and forth. A presence overwhelmed me, something I can only describe as a primordial force or soul, which cannot be looked at directly.

And then I raised my left hand, or was it being pulled? This I don’t know. Upon my ring finger I saw a red string wrapped, I felt its weight and its volume physically too, even after the pathworking was over.

Ra was looking at me. Maybe looking down would be a better word, considering how gargantuan he was. After we finished our vows I felt… different. I didn’t feel like I was a man, but Man, with a capital M. The Essential Man, the first man, Adam Kadmon, whatever you may call it. Man before the fall.

Everywhere around us were flowers, as if I was in Garden of Eden now. I have no idea why the symbolism was like this. It felt like as if I ascended above the seven planets and now I was something more. I thanked Ra and my loved one for this and everything that let me to this moment, as without them, it wouldn’t be possible.

I came back to my senses not long after. There was that spark in me, once again, in my chest. My loved one said that I was shining on astral.

Edit: No frontloading, we each did this at the same time and only compared experiences/notes afterwards.

Yours again soon,
V :two_hearts:

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Beginnings & endings

My heart is heavy. I feel frozen in place. I can’t bear to think about the future. I don’t know what I can do, or what I can undo. Salt burns my face. Can’t go forward, can’t go back.

I… don’t know what else to write about. Everything seems inconsequential. I had some packages arrive from overseas in a few weeks despite an “indefinite” hold on shipping to Aus. I got another package a few days earlier than expected due to “delays”. I got a large sum of money that was meant to take 3 weeks but took 3 days.

For once maybe I don’t know what to say.

Is non-existence an option?

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror

Always & forever yours,
V :two_hearts:

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I know things look rather grim at the moment, but I sincerely thing there isn’t a thing you can’t overcome. You are one of the most talented people I know of.

I know it sounds like of those unhelpful ‘oh I am so sorry, I hope you get better, you are so amazing :hugs:’ posts but I can only tell you whats in front of me darling.

In no time all of your problems will vanish, if I know you. You got what it takes. :fist:

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1.08.22

On one hand, I am still feeling sorry for myself; on the other hand, I know that feeling sorry for myself doesn’t solve problems. While mid-sulk earlier today I was thinking what it would be like to be the Abrahamic god, in the fully personified (or, I suppose, triplicate-personified) sense, and how no wonder so many people’s prayers go unanswered, because all they do is appeal in misery for deliverance.

Being on the receiving end of that would be unimaginably depressing after a while, I imagine.

Deliverance

Walk with me, you’ll never leave
Wait to see your spirit free

Deliverance
Laughing at me

So, it seems it’s up to me to fix my own problems. I did that stubbornly today. Sometimes, telling your whining, anxious thoughts to shut the ever-loving fuck up is really just the best way to go. I am a God and I will have this thing! Most recent success: 10 minutes ago. Times when I thought I’d fucked the entire above thing up: just past 1pm, around 3pm, 5.30 pm, again at 6.05pm. No. Mine.

I looked at A Course in Miracles again. Jesus Christ that thing is girthy. I don’t think I can handle reading it as an e-book. What are the odds of me stumbling across a copy in a secondhand bookstore in the next few days, I wonder.

Actually I’m kinda too scared to go anywhere near the city. I’ll be drawn like a bee to nectar straight to my favourite store in the whole country, and spend all the money I’m trying to save. God I still hope they have that rabbit skeleton in a glass ball when I go there next though.

On that note, I end with the greatest song on God’s green earth.

Spiralling to the ground below
like Autumn leaves left in the wake to fade away
Waking up to your sound again
and lapse into the ways of misery

Edit: immediately after posting this I went out. On my walk I saw a car with a numberplate 888 + my initials, and then looked up and directly in front of me was an enormous mural of honeybees. :woman_facepalming:t3: Subconscious telling me to spend that money I guess.

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I highly recommend Pam Grout’s book The Course in Miracles Experiment. Her take breaks the lessons down into easily digestible chunks, and is the version I myself am using.

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Thanks brother, I’ll check it out. As long as it’s not 2,400 pages like ACIM it should be worth my while :sweat_smile:

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If you need something, let me know?

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Can you get me a rabbit skeleton inside a crystal ball :point_right: :point_left: :pleading_face: ?

Hehe I kid, but really thank you sis. Might be hitting you up for a brutally honest reading trade sometime soon. x

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Hello. Sorry I’ve been so quiet. I have a lot on my plate at the moment, irl and metaphysically.

There’s so much I want to say but so little I want to make public… if that makes sense.

I have been working on new projects. I have had my ass kicked into gear by necessity. I am working with a lot of entities, you know, my usual ones: feather man, big snake, doctor manhattan.

(Saying that affectionately. Obviously I mean Melek Taus, Leviathan, and Metatron.)

And of course Raphael, because apparently everyone around me gets sick.

Have done a lot of experiments in the last few weeks. Some have been very enlightening. Some have been a bit disturbing. Some have been both. Again, working with my main 3 boys. A trip to see Hephaestus. A confirmation that my Leviathan & Haniel emotional healing is potent and works quickly. Banishing. Reinforcing shields (thanks, Metatron). Work with the Law even when I’m in at an extremely low point in my life, mentally speaking.

I hope I can elaborate soon.

Hope you are all well. x

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1 Nov 2022

So here I write from a new city, where I live rent-free, and work from home full-time, with my dream job and my +$20k/yr pay raise.

Only thing missing are new goals, new horizons. New mysteries.

I’ve been on a mini-hiatus lately. Letting the answers to these mysteries come to me.

I wish to heap praise upon Hermes, Hephaestus, Zeus, Hades, Medusa. The Greek Gods have been good to me. I also wish to thank my ever-present guide Melek Taus, my unfailing Leviathan, and my faithful Metatron.

Perhaps one day I will speak of what Melek Taus has done for me, or in more depth of the others… but let’s see.

Hephaestus delivered in under 7 days. Somewhere about 4 to 6.

Hermes and Melek Taus have protected my travels. So much so that when I drove in torrential rain down the highway at 100km/h, I watched someone spin out into a full 180 degree spin across 5 lanes of traffic and come to stop about 1.5 metres away from the front of my car. Cliche I know, but time seemed to slow down.

I stopped, and my fingers grazed unseeing over the dashboard until I found the button to turn on my hazard lights. I spent what seemed like an eternity looking into the eyes of the young women who’d spun her car out and come to a stop facing me, but in reality it was about 15 or 20 seconds before she simply swung her car around and merged back into traffic on the freeway. I turned my hazard lights off after I sped back up to about 70.

How she avoided hitting anyway or the concrete barrier dividing the two sides of the highway, I have no idea. Praise Hermes, friend of humanity. Praise Melek Taus. I made it home safely.

Some time before this, Melek Taus demonstrated that he, unlike in past events, was more than happy to work with Leviathan for a common cause.

Melek Taus, in events prior, didn’t scare me so much as fascinate me, as I’d never seen the like of what I saw, and didn’t really think it was possible… which seems preposterous looking back.

Seems presumptions that the possessiveness I had for him went both ways, but apparently it does. And he gave me a second, “safer” pathworking… or led me to it. And it works just as well, just not leading to the raw, blistering, chaotic version of him, but a toned-down version.

Metatron showed me a very handy new trick.

Leviathan continues to show me to not begrudge the coming or going of money.

The Angels of Omnipotence serve me very well and I am happy to sing their praises.

I got my hands on a copy of the True Black deck, and Uiazel has been particularly helpful in guiding readings. It is a wonderful deck too. While the beautiful, benign, soothing Anima Mundi favours swords, True Black seems to like Cups and to a lesser extent Coins.

But I suppose that depends who I am reading for, hmm?

I am grateful for old friends and new; human and entity.

Vicentia lives with me now. Her ethereal whiskered chin on my shoulder, tickling my cheek, as I kiss her head and stroke her black silk-soft ears and call her spirit to me, forehead to forehead. Even now she prowls. Lovely vixen.

Hello. I see you. Flee, but you leave a trail in your wake.

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14.11.22

Don’t know about the rest of you, but giving way to my intuition is kind of a scary process… when other people ask it of me. I’m happy to go with gut feelings when it concerns only me, but when other people ask for my input, especially before others, that’s when I begin to doubt myself. Surprisingly, I’ve seen that when I just say “fuck it” and pour out everything that touches my brain, it seems to ring true… “spookily accurate”, as someone I respect very much phrased it :stuck_out_tongue: It’s nice. And it helps me overcome my fear of failure and the imposter phenomenon, but not to the point of overt egotism – a true cornerstone of my personality – so perhaps that’s for the best.

Uiazel is a godsend (heh) when it comes to guiding readings, so it seems.

The Law continues to deliver to me. I am no longer experiencing brain lag in language when speaking or when people speak to me, but that may be due to some kind of internal trigger. It’s been kind of replaced with an inability to distinguish between dream, memory, and reality. Which I must say I wholeheartedly welcome. We know the human brain cannot distinguish between the three… so it’s nice to have all my layers of existence squished into one self with all these experiences.

Very helpful. Except when I open my mouth in conversation to reply “Oh yeah, that was just like the time that…!” only to realise the situation I’m about to describe was from dream or imagination, and I had no realisation of the separation between those experiences.

Foxes and peacocks continue to haunt my every step. No surprises there.

I finished The Apophenion by Peter J. Carroll.
Can I just say I fucking love Carroll and I’m annoyed at myself for not reading this book earlier. It is the precise combination of Chaos magick and clearly delineated physics that I crave.
That said, I think on re-read I would stop at maybe the 4/5 mark of the book. I love his brain and his ideas and how it makes me think and nod and stretch my conception of reality, but the latter 5th I think sort of forces me to accept his premise at the cost of rejecting the paradigm most dear to me – the pearl of great price.

I’ll have to make a salad of it. I suppose that’s all we really are. Salads of all that we’ve learned. Some of us those gross weird “olives and meat suspended in a moulded jelly” concoctions from the Depression era. I’d like to think I’m a bit more majestic. Like a nice cobb salad of magick.

Yeah. That sounds about right.

Until next time x

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Reminder: my blood for an entity I summoned tonight, to be freely given upon fulfilment of our deal. Once I have access to my blood vial again and the deal is sealed.

If the deal is paid before I have access to my blood vial, I will gladly bring forth the scalpel waiting in the wings and bloodlet. I will bloodlet until I am faint, until I am on the verge of passing out, or beyond that, for this end.

I bow to you. Go forth and rattle the stars.