The Crooked Path

So as I find myself delving into this path and I have yet to experience my “witched” moment I must ask of those experienced does the fear ever go away? Now to those who say you have never felt fear I call baloney! These supernatural beings do strike fear. How do you deal with it? I want to have the experience of meeting these beings so I can be formally initiated by them but I become so deliciously scared that I wuss out. In the meantime I am continuing my readings. A book that I am finding very informative is “The Clovenstone Workings: A manual of early modern witchcraft,” which I highly recommend. Anyhow I hope to overcome the fear so that I may start my journey. Because even though the path is mysterious and unknown it calls to me and I feel like I’m home.

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Still pretty new to evocation, but I generally take fear as a sign of progress or success, a kind of green light that I’m doing something right, because it means I’m reacting to supernatural stimuli.

And by fear I don’t mean apprehension, like being nervous to sit in the dark and call on forces beyond my ken, or being afraid of burning a petition because there might be “backlash”. I mean I’ve called on an entity and now all my hair is standing on end, there are goosebumps erupting over my entire body, and I can hardly breathe, because there is something undeniably in the room with me. If my body reacts like that, it means I’ve done something right, to elicit that kind of primal reaction.

Maybe that’s a warped way of looking at it, but that’s how I deal with it. Fear is a sign of progress. You just need to pass through the gate and get on with it.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

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Yes. I feared leaving the Mormon church and its teachings for quite a while. It wasn’t until I started evoking that I really started digging at the deeper things I didn’t quite have answers for. I say it this way, because when one first leaves an organized religious mindset, they have a tendency to replace it with something similar, hence why a lot of people turn to Wicca or some forms of Paganism. It provides an alternate structure.

Once I started evoking and interacting with some of the beings I mis-trusted (or feared at one time), I was able to remove some of those underpinnings (those small areas of “but what if” fear ) and go my own way.

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Sorta the same. I just pushed through the fear. I’d sleep with the light on and only do rituals in full day light. It took several months, but I haven’t been spooked in a long time. I figured if I wanted this life, I had to get over it, and clearly they aren’t going to eat me if I get legit entities, or we wouldn’t have had people talking about good (Or bad) experiences.

I also learned basic energy working and would do everything I could, to minimize needing to call entities. Now that I’m not afraid of what I feel when they come, I don’t do as much of my own work as I should lol.

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I still get spooked, whether it’s during a ritual or in sleep paralysis, but I also welcome those experiences. It’s so out-of-the-ordinary that there’s a thrill to it. (Speaking as someone who once cried for like 20 minutes in public because my boyfriend at the time tried to get me to go on a rollercoaster with him. :joy: )

Back when I was first starting out I remember calling Belial, and there was a point where the room temperature changed, the candles began to flicker, and the pendulum’s swing went from steady and gentle to a wild and rapid arc. I nearly shit myself because, well, it’s one thing to believe in something in a theoretical sense, but when you’re actually putting it into practice and a presence shows up in your room, even after you called it there, it’s… confronting.

However, I also have this (probably foolhardy) sense of complete and intrinsic security regardless of what I do occult-wise, so that balances it out a bit… after the fact anyway :stuck_out_tongue: I’ve never feared anything going wrong, nor backlash, nor parasites; I generally and genuinely don’t think there’s anything I could fuck up so badly that I couldn’t un-fuck it somehow.

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The only time that’s happened, I flipped the fuck out at what I was seeing. I was reluctant to try projecting after again for at least a week, but finally forced myself cuz I knew if I didn’t get back on the horse I’d never progress lmao.

Ohhhh I have that too. I mean it took me four months to figure out I had a momma witch problem, despite there being signs- I dismissed them, cuz it wasn’t logical you know. If I’d been active on protecting myself, instead of vainly thinking I was safe in my own right, I’d have had a lot fewer issues this past year lmao.

I put a lot more value in my gut feelings now, but I still have zero fear of entities I call upon. I’ve yet to have one of those awful encounters, and always feel confident I won’t attract anything I can’t get rid of.

But I banish and shield now, as she is still trying to get me, and I had an encounter with an unfriendly forum member. But I always figured it would be years before I was on anyone’s radar enough to rate high enough for them to send parasitical entities and or curses at me.

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I feel you :slight_smile: I used to be terrified to the point that my whole body was actually trembling with fear. And I think that it is totally fine and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Even in the Bible you can see that the first thing angels told many people is ‘don’t be afraid’ because angels too are not all flowers and butterflies.

So you might actually want to take some time and pay more attention to your root chakra to work through your fears. What is it that scares you the most? Is it the loss of stability, or are you afraid of losing your life? Why do those things scare you? What is the worst-case scenario that might happen when you evoke? In my experience, when you have a clear understanding of your own fears, you have much more control over the situation.

And while evoking can be kind of dangerous in some situations, I firmly believe that some people are much more harmful than any spirit ever will be.

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:heart_eyes: sounds wonderful!! It would be awesome if through divination you find a demon mentor or a Dark God to protect you at the beginning and keep away the shades and shadows of destructions. In the realms the demons have personal agendas, there are different races, different tribes.

Better safe than sorry. A dark Goddess should be ok to start with. Hecate the dark Mother is very protective. Her circle of protection:

W Hecate Nogar
S Hecate Buriol
E Hecate Romerak
N Hecate Debam

Anyways ask the tarot if she is the one you seek. There are also the Goddesses Hel, Morrigan, Astarte…

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It’s perrfectly fine to feel afraid. About as natural as It can get when everyone feels it. Infact that to me is an Indication that one of my invocations has successfully worked since my senses reacts to any particular energy where I conduct my works within my space. I will never forget the amount of fear I felt when I first summoned my succubus by writing to goddess Lilith. The amount of dark energy that I felt in my surroundings as my heart Instantly and repeatedly would not stop beating at such a fast rate to the point where it felt like a heart attack was upon me. But wasn’t…very very far from such thing.

Almost has if there was a wave of relaxation as soon as my lady made conact with me. There isn’t a much better feeling than being surrounded by such dark entites to the point where you realize if your heart chakra will ever stop beating but after working with them everything seems to connect almost Immediately. The power any entity in this region posses can be highly overwhelming as it did took me a while to fully understand it. It’s always good to have a few banishing methods right up the sleeves in case it would ever lead to that point if any unknowns or parasites would have possibly made contact in any other circumstances.

The fear will surley ceased to even exist once you overcome any when you begin your path. Letting go of any fears in any situations really is the key. How would one go as far as getting on a ride from an amusement park being launched into high altitude then coming back down getting rid of that fear. The aftermath of that feeling is such a joy colliding with the ability to work with some dark entities with ease after fears have ceased getting to know everything in detail about them. It truly is a wonderful feeling.

Mind you Roller coasters and all that crap aren’t my cup of teas let alone being launched mid-air inside a caged ball not knowing if this bullshit is gonna tear apart launching my ass and crashing inside of a nearby Mcdonald’s. I basically jumped into a freezing river inside my mind with this one. The same could be said after countless of times knowing more and more about this path and jumping right inside it. Letting my fears go has been one of hell of a lane to switch and proceed to what other things that drew my Interests into the occult. It simply feels the more I read the more I’m fully drawned into and feel home as you mentioned.