you’re so pretty everyone dies
1 Like
9 Likes
Adds a whole new aspect to causing boners. 
2 Likes
oy lady I haves a bone fer you
2 Likes
8 Likes
tmw
the neighbours kids are thinking your Kazoo is a Juul…
7 Likes
Tmw I got my egift card and redeem it on Amazon and order fudge
2 Likes
tmw
the dynamics of a minor car accident in front of your window
dude crashes with car in front of a tree, being “stopped” by one of these metal structures that should protect trees from exactly that: crashing into them
dude,who is in for a bad night and day tomorrow, gets out of the car, throws his hands up in horror, gets back into the car (which looks fucking horrible now) and drives it away to a more secure spot. Dude comes back with a cigarette in his mouth and a cellphone in his hand, examining the damage that happened to the metal thingy and goes back to his car again, he probably called the police.
Exactly 3,5 seconds after that poor dude left the scene two old people rushed to the place getting all ragey over…a dented metal thingy in front of an intact tree. A third person enters the scene, with a flashlight to bring more light to the horrors of a dented metal thingy in front of an intact tree.
The police drives by, making their way to the poor accident dude, downright ignoring the ragey old people (who tried to stop the police car by walking straight in front of it).
I step away from the window, getting myself a beer, thinking to myself “Aight, I bet when I return there will be three more people pointing at that dented metal thingy.”
And as I return to the window with a cold beer not three but five people are standing in front of a dented metal thingy, taking pictures with a flashlight, making upset gestures and calling other folks over their cellphones.
I go away from the window again to call my SO to this grotesque scenario (asking myself if we should just walk over and…dunno, standing there with them).
Now TEN people are standing in front of a dented metal thingy, taking pictures, pointing at stuff (the car accident dude probably got his business done with the police already, in the meantime).
My SO returns to his laptop, (posting a story about how a dented metal thingy gets more attention than his last concerts) as the ten people crowd slowly turns into some kind of sidewalk party:
the next time I take a look out of that window twelve people are sitting on the sidewalk or on the partially intact side of the metal thingy, smoking cigarettes and drinking beer, discussing next days lunch dish provided by the café across the street (potatoes and spinach with fried eggs).
I am not sure if they remember why they have gathered there in the first place 
11 Likes
TMW mmmm sauced nipples and porkchops.
3 Likes
Tmw you have a mild exchange of smart ass words with a gatekeeper most would find either foolish or outright stupid.
While working on a list of rituals that lead to the pact and additional steps (making a quill, ink, paper, etc) leading to the ritual, lucifuge spoke.
Him: “Why are you making this difficult?”
Me: “You want to teach me the power behind words, correct?”
Him: “That’s one lesson, yes.”
Me: “Well, unfortunately while I am a god/spirit/essence/whatever in the physical, my brain is still human. Due to the culture of my society, things that come too easily are not always valued. So I am using that notion to my advantage to fully immerse myself in this ritual.”
Him: “Yet you know that is not always necessary?”
Me: “Exactly. Plus some of these skills were on my personal list of things to develope. I am killing two birds with one stone.”
Him: “You are a bit arrogant, aren’t you?”
Me: “Aren’t all beings to some degree?” (Was meant as aren’t all beings when they are growing?)
Him: -chuckles- “Touche”
6 Likes
TMW you have an enormous craving for consuming the colour red for some reason as if your life would depend on it. Eat and drink all the red things!
7 Likes
Tmw you are reaching the 13 hour mark of being awake. Should go to bed, but am excited to get my mala beads (our DIY attempts failed as the beads we bought were drilled too small for our cord. We will be using them for something else later on instead so I just bought us a set each that are meaningful to us). It will be the first time I owned obsidian since the few pieces I collected in California before moving to Michigan
3 Likes
Hands you a red crayon
4 Likes
takes away The Red crayon… And replaces it with a glass of Blair’s mega death sauce
4 Likes
Writes “V8” on the glass in red crayon
4 Likes
Tmw your wife asked where we would like to go on our first vacation as a couple and it leads to a deeper conversation. I replied “A small patch of Red Woods in California where my grandmother, her parents, and their parents rest. I want to go to the place of those of my family who have taken the low road before me were scattered and introduce you to them.”
Her: “Is that where you want to be scattered when the time comes?”
Me: “I do not intent to dissolve into the All after death, nor return here in flesh. I will wander the planes and see all there is. I imagine I will be there one day regardless of where you lay me to rest.”
3 Likes
TMW
Oddnan, saviour of ducklings. Lets hope the city council won’t charge too much for the partly “disintigrated” fence 
6 Likes
I’m sitting here at work, my speaker is playing eurobeat, and I’m trying to decide what anime to watch…
I’m turning into a fucking weeb…
3 Likes
I’m now imagining a mob of concerned citizens closely inspecting the fence and acting ragey.
4 Likes
Maybe this happens right as we speak 
3 Likes