I am sorry for your loss.
Don’t take it personal from his side, a lot of male folks are conditioned to seek out “solutions” or to “fix” things when someone is telling them about something that puts weight on the mind. If you want to talk about it with him you could guide him with “I just want to talk about it right now, not seeking a solution”. It might put him into (active) listening mode a lot more easier if he knows that he can contribute to your wellbeing like that 
I would say that roughly 70% of people don’t know how to be helpful through someone elses grief; they don’t know how to handle it or how to act, so they are quick to suggest solutions instead of walking you through whats going on in your inner world. Grief is a confusing and not at all linear kinna thing and it scares the observer; they are afraid they could say something wrong or that their reaction might make things worse. Some might even suggest to “finally get over it”, if the feeling lingers over a longer period of time. Please don’t take this reaction as their regard towards how valid your feelings are, they simply don’t know better.
If you feel in the right headspace to do so, you could ask a psychopomp entity to connect you with your father in that kind of way. My favourite spirit for this kind of work is Bune, she is never forceful in that regard. She has been a careful and respectful connector between the dead and me, no spectacular TV show effects or such. There are many other spirits that can connect you authentically to a deceased person of course, this is just my experience with a similar difficult family constellation and death.
This thought might be too early and not fitting into your situation at all, but I found solace in the fact that we pass on whats important to us regardless. If its not lineage, it can be values. It can be how we acted around the people we care for in their times of need, how we helped others to continue or to learn or to grow. A village is as important as the family, so maybe one day your role is that of a village for somebody else, maybe you are already somebodies village. If you think about it you might find how you already contributed to that role.
Grief can be connected to shame, at times. Shame can make grief harder to process because sometimes we feel that we don’t deserve to be happy. That we can only “make up” for our alleged flaws if we continously stay in this stage of sadness and grief, as a proof of our betterment.
If you feel that shame over alleged flaws or past mistakes makes it harder for you to come to terms with your grief you might try the whiteboarding method, to erase the labels that others have brought upon you and that you have internalized as a result:
Don’t forget that grief is not linear. There is no official kind of stage where you “should be” after X amount of time. It can very well be that you are doing fine for months and then suddenly it hits you out of nowhere. This is normal, too. Your pain is valid, your sadness is valid and having mixed emotions about the loss but also past abuse as well is valid. You can still love and miss someone after they put you through some shit. And its valid to be angry about that, too.